Dating and I think he’s mocking me ..

[Fiddledeedeefiddle]

So I’m dating a guy but I think I’m missing some red flags. He seems to constantly be trying to wind me up about the fact he thinks I’m posh, have a good job and drive a nice car. I certainly don’t go on about my car it is what it is, similarly my job. I thought it was teasing and banter but it’s fairly constant and I’m wondering if it’s a red flag?

Yes

This would irritate me. I would see it as a sign of his own insecurities and find it tiresome. I guess the question is do you like him enough to tolerate it?

Dump him. He's jealous and trying to tear you down.

I really like him, the chemistry is great, hence I think why I’ve pushed it back a little. Theoretically we are at similar stages in our lives and I’m not precious about social status but he just seems to keep picking at it. So for example we have the same car but his is 10 years older and he keeps bringing that up. He ribs me a lot about shopping at Waitrose when he shops at Aldi - I just don’t get it. He also seems to want to engage in a who is more busy competition. It’s a bit rubbish as I really like him but I honestly don’t have airs and graces and I wouldn’t even think of these things but they’re starting to be quite upsetting.

And I really probably shouldn’t be lying awake at 4am worrying about it

If it’s bothering you now it will only get worse the more you’re with him.

and if he’s doing it now it will only get worse the more he gets to know you and the more he has to be jealous and insecure about when he’s with you.

move on and find someone that raises you up rather than putting you down..

He’s insecure, he can’t cope with a woman who does well. It will only get worse.

If they start turning your life into their competition, its time to go. That's them telling you what they see you as, competition. People like that don't do love, compassion, compromise and empathy. They just do contempt, one upmanship and dragging you down.

It will only get worse. Run for the hills.

@Fiddledeedeefiddle

Guess he is trying to be funny but how annoying

I’d explain all this to him. That way he gets the feedback and might stop. If he is told you dont like it but continues then end it. There will be good and bad in any relationship, giving feedback and learning each others dos and donts is part of it.

No, you shouldn't be. Chemistry means nothing with with an arsehole.

If you want his true colours to come out rib him right back about his busted up crap car and job.

I bet he won't see the humor in it.

Exactly this

If you like him tell him and see how he reacts. If he's apologetic and stops it you know it's just lighthearted banter on his part. If he reacts negatively to being asked to stop or does it anyway I'd end it.

When he makes one do these comments just reply "And? What's your point?" And then sit there quietly until he responds.

If he squirms then he knows he's being rude and should stop. If he makes another snarky comment then you know that you can toss this fish back into the sea.

This is irritating and it would annoy me. My bf had a different upbringing to me, going to a very expensive school, whereas I went to a pretty rough school. He’s never ever teased me about it, and I’ve not teased him. We are pretty level career wise as we work for the same organisation, but again I wouldn’t like it if he teased me if I was doing better in my career and I certainly wouldn’t. I think he’s jealous and that’s definitely a red flag.

He's clearly very insecure. Maybe he's worried you could do better. If you really like him, I'd have one final serious talk and tell him the banter is what makes you want to leave him. If that doesn't wake him up, nothing will and of course you should leave him.

He's critical, rude, insensitive, crass, a social snob and green eyed yob with a gigantic chip on his shoulder. He's got no respect or consideration for your feelings.

Other than that I'm sure he's a real charmer.

It's jealousy. But he might not fully realise it himself / realise how annoying it is. You could speak to him and give him a chance to fix it? Then if he doesn't you can move on.

You're more successful than him and this is a problem in his eyes. He's jealous and insecure so is using it to bring you down. This won't get better and is a sign of who he is in general. Huge red flag 🚩 best not ignored

Agree with pp, he is negging you.

Is he a bit inexperienced? Perhaps this is how he's talks to his friends and hasn't worked out it's not the way you talk to a girlfriend.

I'd start with not reacting, smiling or engaging at these comments to see if he can read the room and reigns it in.

It that doesn't work I'd tell him and would probably finish it as he's clearly lacking emotional intelligence

Clear case of tedious negging. Maybe tell him you're finding these comments wearing and pointless and see what he says. I expect you'll be told that he was only joking and you're being over sensitive in which case he'll have confirmed to you that he's a twat.

Talk to him about it. It’s obviously coming from insecurity. See if he stops when you tell him it’s becoming a deal breaker.