Went to tell my boyfriend something in confidence and he cut me off and said he can’t promise he won’t tell his friends

[Cleary7]

Long story short- I have a thing in my life that is very important to me but not something I share with many people.
I don’t want to say exactly what it is but something along the times of being adopted/having a different parent.
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and I wanted to share this with him and thought he would understand.
I started by saying this is very important to me and something I’d like to keep between me and him, I explained a few other people knew but it’s not common knowledge and something I would only like other people hearing from me if I choose. So asked him to keep it to himself.
he basically said not to tel him because he can’t be sure he won’t tell his friends? I’m sure he got the general gist of what I was going to say and then just said no don’t tel me as I can’t promise you I won’t tell people.
I was a bit miffed by this because I felt I could trust him with this and it is important to me that people close to me know this.
how would you feel about this?

seriously? Grow up

Why it’s a reality. If someone asked me to swear to keep a secret and the went on to reveal an affair or worse I would be conflicted. Ultimately my morality would inform me what to do.

The issue is that I don’t know what is being asked of me and therefore I am not going to swear I won’t reveal it.

I have been told things in confidence and never revealed them. But I wouldn’t swear to someone in anticipation of being included in the secret.

Well yes of course most people would feel conflicted over something like that but this clearly wasn’t something awful I was disclosing to him.
when you’ve been told things in confidence that you then didn’t share, did you call those people childish and controlling too?

@Cleary7 - my DSis is the same. In the past, if we were having a confidential conversation she would always remind me not to tell her anything I didn't want shared with the rest of the family.

It's shit, but it's truthful. 🤷🏼‍♀️

He's not very mature is he.

Raise your standards and finish it, you really need to be clear on what you are worthy of. Life is too short to get stuck with someone you can't trust. I understand if you're young you're desperate for relationships to work- when you're older and dealing with fallout of his dishonesty you will wish you were free and single, with self respect