My boyfriend and I generally have a good relationship but my dd and he sometimes clash when it comes to bedtime (she's a terrible sleeper) and her typical 8 year old girl behaviour, e.g., answering back, pushing boundaries etc.
He's very firm with her and doesn't like her arguing, yet his way of dealing with her arguing is to argue back. This antagonises her and makes the situation a hell of a lot worse, when it could easily be nipped in the bud. I've learnt to pick my battles and not to sweat the smaller stuff but he can't do this. He has to have the final say.
I have EUPD which means that I find it really hard to regulate my emotions, and when I feel hurt, I really, really feel it. My boyfriend ruined my birthday by arguing with dd, and I was so upset that I told him that I couldn't carry on with the relationship. Ending the relationship is something I've tried to do previously, as it's my way of coping in that I'd rather just cut it off and try to save myself getting hurt any further.
Obviously he feels discarded and like he's not important, but I'm so fed up of not having my feelings validated, and him wanting to brush things under the carpet. When arguments happen, he says that I dwell on it and make them last for days, whereas he'd rather just pretend they never happened and move on immediately. I can't do this.
He's now saying that he won't fight for me any more, and that I've "won". I feel like shit, but I don't know what else I can do. His defences become so high after an argument and I can't get through to him - he becomes this cold, horrible stranger who I don't recognise. Hence why I end it.
What do I do? Do I fight even though I ended it?