Yes I looked at my dh phone. I was actually looking for something else and he's never been secretive with his phone.
There are not that many messages between them but there are kisses on both sides and hearts from her. What I did notice though was -
A few month's ago he was due to have an operation which was cancelled at the last minute. He text her before anyone else to let her know it had been cancelled.
Asking when they will be in work next.
Text her happy new year before anyone else.
When he finally had said operation a couple of weeks ago, there was a message from her saying 'you are in my thoughts xx' then he text her before me to say he was awake!
As I write it down I know it doesn't look good but I've never been in this situation before.
He worked alone self employed for most of our relationship so has only recently had 'work colleagues '.
I don't understand why he's even got her number!
I should also say that he is impotent due to heath and medication so I'm not worried about a sexual affair but this does make me feel a bit uneasy. Our marriage has been a bit rocky lately but we are working on it.
Do I confront him?
He gets quite defensive and will say she's just a friend but it feels like more than that to me.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Dh texting someone at work. Do I say anything?
Xstrong · 14/01/2023 08:05
Xstrong · 15/01/2023 21:34
@MsDogLady I was with him when the op was cancelled.i thought he was texting his kids (grown up) to let them know.
Xstrong · 20/01/2023 20:55
We've had a talk. She's 26 and Ukrainian!
He swears blind they are just friends, he doesn't fancy her, it's more of a father/daughter thing as she has no family here. He's 55 ffs 🙄
She's easy to talk to, they have similar interests, she understands him etc etc.
But then started saying he can't talk to me, he's lonely, I don't make him feel special. I had to walk away at that point.
Bard6817 · 14/01/2023 10:16
The lack of protectiveness of his phone is a good sign.
The messages…. Maybe he’s found a friend, or someone to confide in. That’s not so great but not the end of the world.
Id wait and see. Give him a bit of space to either hang himself, or demonstrate he’s actually one of the good guys who can have a normal friendship with a female.
But for me, the lack of secrecy around his phone, is good sign.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.