Yes I looked at my dh phone. I was actually looking for something else and he's never been secretive with his phone.
There are not that many messages between them but there are kisses on both sides and hearts from her. What I did notice though was -
A few month's ago he was due to have an operation which was cancelled at the last minute. He text her before anyone else to let her know it had been cancelled.
Asking when they will be in work next.
Text her happy new year before anyone else.
When he finally had said operation a couple of weeks ago, there was a message from her saying 'you are in my thoughts xx' then he text her before me to say he was awake!
As I write it down I know it doesn't look good but I've never been in this situation before.
He worked alone self employed for most of our relationship so has only recently had 'work colleagues '.
I don't understand why he's even got her number!
I should also say that he is impotent due to heath and medication so I'm not worried about a sexual affair but this does make me feel a bit uneasy. Our marriage has been a bit rocky lately but we are working on it.
Do I confront him?
He gets quite defensive and will say she's just a friend but it feels like more than that to me.
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Relationships
Dh texting someone at work. Do I say anything?
Xstrong · 14/01/2023 08:05
BurrosTail · 01/06/2023 17:18
He might’ve deleted individual text messages. You can see deleted messages for 40 days if you go to Messages, Edit, Show recently deleted.
WonkyPicture · 01/06/2023 16:08
@Crikeyalmighty I'm 56 but husband is 51 and his OW is 36. It all just seems grubby, somehow.
I'm assuming my husband is now living with his OW. I have no idea where he is TBH, but he did say to the kids that he was going to move in with her as it was cheaper, I mean, even if he was downplaying it for the kids, that's a pretty nasty thing to say. Amongst other things he has said, very little of what was flattering.
So this woman has taken in a man 16 years older than her, with mental health problems, anxiety, depression and Erectile Dysfunction, who demolished a 24 year marriage with 3 kids right in front of her, has no money and is as of last week unemployed too, as he's been sacked from work for poor performance, and who also needs a hip replacement. What is she thinking having him move in, just how bloody desperate is she? Red flags popping all over the shop. I seriously doubt it'll last, but even if it does its not a great start is it, not when I think back to how husband and I started. When he was a wonderful, virile and healthy young man who loved with abandon and would shout from the rooftops how much he adored me. I'm glad I had that young man, she can have the resentful washed out has been he has become.
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BatsHaveButtcheeks · 01/06/2023 08:26
His mother isn't even in the ground yet. Do you think seeing a solicitor about what you could get from him, is best placed right now?
You've said it yourself, they are messages you'd send a good friend. Clearly you don't trust him, so you're best parting - but give him time to grieve.
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