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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New Fab & Glam (Part 3 - The Quest Continues!)

1001 replies

Paddlechick666 · 05/02/2008 10:18

Here we go ladies!

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Paddlechick666 · 10/03/2008 17:31

lol TFM, I'll force feed her the chocs my mum left on MD, they're chocolates based on deserts so a double whammy!

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Tanee58 · 10/03/2008 17:37

Hooray Dior, G has been outed for the Don Juan he was! And what goes around, comes around... he's had his just reward !!

Really looking forward to meeting you at last. It must be about a year since we 'met'.

I'm more worried about DP than anything. The alcohol WILL kill him in the long term, and in the short term, it's killing our relationship . I don't know what set him off last night, he didn't say. He'd had a call from his mum saying that she & her best friend wanted to visit in April - and the date clashed with another of his friends descending on us with her son, so sleeping arrangements are going to be complicated. He'd suggested that DD could go for a sleepover, so her room would be free, and I said that I'd be happy for her and me to go to my mum's....

Hmmm... maybe THAT upset him??

Anyway, I hope we'll get the chance to talk a bit tonight, BEFORE he opens a bottle. We both find it hard, that's the trouble, and he doesn't finish work till 8, so he'll be tired. But I'm going to have to say that at this rate, it'll be the bottle, or me. I hate the negative way I feel about him when he's drunk - and he seems to be drunk more and more often, since his consumption's increased. He smiles in this idiotic way as if that makes it all right, and I just want to smack him.

Looks like GinnedUp and I have more and more in common.

Tanee58 · 10/03/2008 17:38

TFM, it won't be the same without you!

TimeForMe · 10/03/2008 17:46

Oh yeeees PC! By the time she comes home I want her to look like the Gwyneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal. You got that?

Awh, thanks Tanee. Maybe one day I will be able to join you all. I think we are going to be life long mates

Paddlechick666 · 10/03/2008 18:22

hey TFM, have you got a video phone or a webcam?

now i got my iPhone working you can join us virtually!

i think we'll have to become travelling tea bags thru the summer and try to have a few more meet ups.

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TimeForMe · 10/03/2008 20:30

Alas no PC, I've nly just got a camera phone!

We will have to go back to the double decker bus idea that we had in the early days, Teabags on Tour!

Paddlechick666 · 10/03/2008 21:22

we'll figure something out

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Dior · 10/03/2008 21:30

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HappyWoman · 10/03/2008 22:19

No probs dior try phoning me but if i dont answer leave a message _ i have just been done for driving whilst talking on the phone . I may have my dd with me as she is very interested in what keeps her away from my laptop . Dont worry about petrol h gets it paid at work - but buy baffy a pudding from me too . I am still on the slimming world, which is going so very slowly at the moment.

Dior · 10/03/2008 22:39

Message withdrawn

lilybubble · 10/03/2008 23:59

Yay, am v excited about the weekend!! Can't wait to meet you all.

Not much news from me. Went to a big awards bash last night for work, was fab. Kevin Spacey recognised me and said hello to me, how exciting is that!! My show won a big award, and another of our shows, Hairspray, was the big winner of the night, so everyone was happy. Ended up in the hotel bar till 2am, and had a kiss with the cute guy who I kissed before from the Christmas party.....

H is still in Australia with SlutGuts, and has called a few more times. Got an email from his sister yesterday for the first time since the split. And talking of which, it is almost a year since that - 1st April, I can hardly believe it. Am looking forward to getting that over and done with.

PC, I am so tempted to get an iphone!! Really want one, so keep telling me how good they are please!

Macd, how is dd2 doing? I have been thinking of you all, and hope you are doing okay.

Baffy, surely this is the lowest that things can get. That little tart is a psychopath. It sounds like you handled the situation brilliantly though, well done. I totally understand where you're coming from about ds though, that's also something that really upsets me. I so HATE the thought of slutguts having anything to do with my dd, I just can't bear it. I do think I will feel much happier about it if h got a new girlfriend - I hate this girl for her part in this, and I don't want her to have to be a part of mine and dd's lives. At all. She keeps asking me at the moment about do mummy and daddy love each other, and it's just awful, so heartbreaking. It's all so unfair on her, and it makes me really mad at h about it all.

Anyway, ranting and rambling now, so should stop. Oh and Baffy, am in a bit of a similar situation to you agian, in that I have a flatmate here, a girl from work, and I really don't want her here, but have no choice because of money... Dd is still at nursery, not school, as she hasn't got a place so I'm paying nursery fees and h isn't paying me what he should. I just CANNOT WAIT to get rid of her and to have the place all to just me and dd, it will be bliss!! Bring it on, I really can't wait. I feel for you, that's a really tough situation, and I think that if I was in your position, I'd probably stay put until I / we all could do something to sort them out. Sorry, I know that's disagreeing with everyone else. That was a good suggestion about getting a place with an annexe or something, do you think that's possble? I appreciate they don't want to move, but ultimately they are probably not going to have much choice are they? How sad, and how difficult for you all. I hope you can work something out that suits you all.

Must go to bed....!!

TimeForMe · 11/03/2008 07:36
Baffy · 11/03/2008 09:09

Did I mention I don't 'do' puddings!!

I'll have an extra rice cake or stick of celery instead!!

(She says as she sits here eating a bagel with nutella!!! mmmmm!)

Anyway, thanks for all the support and advice yesterday. I'm taking everything in. I feel a lot calmer today. One step at a time.

I saw H last night as he called to mine to pick up some holiday clothes that were boxed up in the garage (he's off to Spain this week with his mates!). I really don't know how I feel about him. He's a shaddow of his former self and he looks bloody awful. He must have texted at least 3 times in the 10 minutes he was there, so OW is most definitely not off the scene
I asked what she was saying and he said he'd told her he wanted to end things (again!) and she was saying 'don't give up on me, don't walk away when we're nearly through it, it's only because we've had to sneak around that it's been so difficult' etc. But he can't see a future with her so he's ending it because he wants to...

I just said to him I really don't care what he decides to do, but he needs to stop lying to himself, as well as everyone else, and if he wants to be with this girl to just admit it!

He maintains he doesn't. But he does feel a lot for her, he's the only person she's got in the world and he feels a sense of responsibility for treating her so badly.

My parting comment was that it's a pity he didn't feel that sense of responsibility to his innocent wife and child hey!

He's not seeing ds alone for now, and I've agreed with my mum and FIL that they will do the pickups and drop offs for ds so that I don't have to see H at all from now on. Ds has been crying to see FIL so I feel I have to make a step forward for ds's sake and nothing else. But H's access is going to be limited to the times when FIL looks after him for the time being. I think that will help for now.

That's about as far ahead as I can think right now.

I get my new company car delivered today so there's some happy news for a change

Paddlechick666 · 11/03/2008 09:11

Lol tfm, poor baffy's going to go home proper chubby!
lily you are seriously rock n roll! I love kevin spacey.
You have to get the iPhone, I'm on the train now with P!jk blaring in my ears!
have you checked out tax credits? I just got my new claim sorted and the award is so generous I am worried they've miscalculated! They promise it's right tho. It covers all of de's childcare including pre-school with a little over. They don't include childcare vouchers or maintenance either. So I should be ok thank god. Was getting worried how we'd cope when savings got low or if h loses job again. As it's backdated I can start the nz fund too.
looking forward to the weekend so much!

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Paddlechick666 · 11/03/2008 09:22

oh and did I mention I'd need xtra funds to cover all the Internet access off this phone! Bound to be a fortune!
baffy's, you sound better today. I so know the desperate need to do something, take action etc. It feels like the only way to regain some control. Sit tight tho, you' re doing great focussing on ds's needs. I guess you and I are getting to tha place where we accept we cannot influence their behaviour anymore. It's tough but liberating too.
Can't wait to see you Saturday! Do you 'do' pizza?

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TimeForMe · 11/03/2008 09:30

Well done Baffy, you seem to have got things under control

I bet he is rueing the day he ever met SG. I am a firm believer in what goes round, comes round and all that and, it certainly seems he is getting his just desserts.
Talking of desserts, you must do puddings! You cannot possibly offend your fellow teabags by declining to eat a pudding (or two) Dior is relying on you!

So, what's this new car your'e getting then? Did you go for a sporty little number or something a little more practical

TimeForMe · 11/03/2008 09:31
Paddlechick666 · 11/03/2008 09:56

and spare ribs! My weekend treat which is ruining my post
dhh figure!
I kinda subscribe to karma but it makes me wonder what we did to get this crap back iyswim?
god I will never get any work done again now I have this phone!

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Paddlechick666 · 11/03/2008 09:58

forgot to put my make up on this am and just walked wrong way to office!

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Baffy · 11/03/2008 10:06

mmm pizza! Ds and I can't get enough pizza!

Actually was extremely when an advert came on for Dominos when ds was tiny, must have been well under 2, and he pointed at the tv and said 'pizza'!!

Pizza, alcohol and great company. Perfect night!

New car is an Audi A3. Went fairly practical in the end, 5 doors and all that! But managed to use the extra bit of my allowance for nice alloys, metallic paint, ipod connection etc

Really looking forward to the weekend too! And giving the car a good 500 mile round trip test drive!!!!

Baffy · 11/03/2008 10:08

p.s. TFM - those bikini photos were very much 'post dhh' phase last September... I've put on a few pound since then!!

TimeForMe · 11/03/2008 10:25

Aahh you see PC, if you had closed your heart, closed your eyes, ears and anything else that could be closed and walked away without a backward glance then you wouldn't have had the crap. BUT, because 'lurve' is so hard to give up on we court the crap and we invite it to stay. Really, thats nothing to do with Karma. You always have to learn the hard way when you go against the grain I'm afraid.
It's a real bugger of a job though isn't it when, after all that bloody torment, turmoil and heartbreak you find yourself no further on or no better off than you were in the first place. It's a hard lesson.

BUT, if it wasn't for all the crap the Teabags would never have met so I suppose it does have it's pluses

Car sounds lovely Baffy. It should make the drive to PC's rather thrilling! No driving too fast though, we want you back in one piece! One BIG piece with spots!

Dior · 11/03/2008 10:47

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Dior · 11/03/2008 10:54

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TimeForMe · 11/03/2008 11:05

Wow Dior! Thats quite an achievement these days. Congratulations! xx

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