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Original poster

He keeps contacting me

58 replies

Ferne7 · 08/01/2023 23:09

I met a man at a running club about 6 years ago. He seemed to develop an obsession with me. I have been in a relationship for 5 months and this man does not know I am no longer single. I am getting annoyed now as he is messaging me daily. I leave it 24 hours to reply but he is not getting the message. I have never been romantically interested and never will. I love my boyfriend very much. Why do men not get the message and act desperate? I wish he would leave me alone.

OP posts:
iminvestednow · 08/01/2023 23:10

Have you asked him to stop contacting you?

Rogue1001MNer · 08/01/2023 23:10

Block him 🤷‍♀️

Starlightstarbright1 · 08/01/2023 23:12

You need to be direct. Stop replying. Tell he can't contact you. Block if necessary

minticecreamisjustok · 08/01/2023 23:13

Why are you replying every 24hrs? Just message I'm no longer single, easy!

Slimjimtobe · 08/01/2023 23:14

I wouldn’t reply at all

BigHeadBertha · 08/01/2023 23:15

Well, you haven't told him you're in a relationship and you do eventually answer him. So I could see him thinking he has a chance with you.

Just block him and the problem is solved, right?

Hiddenvoice · 08/01/2023 23:17

You haven’t told him you are in a relationship and you’re still replying so he will think he has a chance of winning you round.
Either stop replying to him or tell him about your boyfriend. Don’t need to make it a big deal, just causally drop in that you are your boyfriend watched a show or something.
If it was me I wouldn’t block him as he’s not done anything wrong, I’d just say not interested and have a boyfriend so you’re going to cool it on the friendship and leave it at that.

GreyCarpet · 08/01/2023 23:39

Oh for goodness sake

This is a non-problem entirely of your own creation.

Tell him you have a boyfriend now and are not interested.

Just don't reply.

He's messaging and you're replying the following day. What message is he supposed to be getting? But that sounds like a perfectly normal exchange of messages to me and he probably thinks the same.

Bard6817 · 08/01/2023 23:40

Your actions are leading him on.

Be blunt - ask him to stop messaging.

Block anyway.

Problem solved.

SuperHandss · 08/01/2023 23:41

Why are you replying? Just block.

Are you secretly kind of enjoying it?

Aussiegirl123456 · 08/01/2023 23:41

I agree with PP.
At any stage over the past six years, have you even asked him to stop contacting you?
Why are you responding?
Mute the conversation, or even block.
This could be such a non issue. Have you enjoyed the ego massage or something?

Dullardmullard · 08/01/2023 23:57

Haven’t you posted this before?

if not just tell him have a boyfriend so not interested if he continues to text then block

Watchkeys · 09/01/2023 00:37

This isn't about 'why men do' something. Stop responding. He will stop messaging you. The end.

yorkshirepudsx · 09/01/2023 00:39

Tell him that you're no longer single & don't reply at all? Some people see a glimpse of hope and jump at it, don't let him have the glimpse

cinnamonpearl · 09/01/2023 00:39

This is on you. Tell him to stop messaging. Or do you like the attention?'

cinnamonpearl · 09/01/2023 00:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

yorkshirepudsx · 09/01/2023 00:43

cinnamonpearl · 09/01/2023 00:39

This is on you. Tell him to stop messaging. Or do you like the attention?'

I was going to say this. Is the attention that OP enjoys?

OP - It's not fair on him or your boyfriend in all honesty. You haven't told him you're now taken, and if he's still messaging you after 6 years, he must get the impression you're interested? Otherwise why would he bother?
And your boyfriend - I wouldn't be that happy if somebody was messaging my partner, and my partner hadn't thought to tell them they were with somebody.

Just tell him you're no longer single and ignore his messages. Very simple.

cinnamonpearl · 09/01/2023 00:46

He's not interested, never was. Probably didn't even message.why be bothered?'

Andypandy799 · 09/01/2023 02:32

@Ferne7 is this post a wind up? Just tell him you have met someone and at now in a relationship and wish him all the best. He’s not mystic Meg you know, maybe think how you have led him on. Ffs 🤦‍♂️

Original poster
Ferne7 · 09/01/2023 08:42

yorkshirepudsx · 09/01/2023 00:43

I was going to say this. Is the attention that OP enjoys?

OP - It's not fair on him or your boyfriend in all honesty. You haven't told him you're now taken, and if he's still messaging you after 6 years, he must get the impression you're interested? Otherwise why would he bother?
And your boyfriend - I wouldn't be that happy if somebody was messaging my partner, and my partner hadn't thought to tell them they were with somebody.

Just tell him you're no longer single and ignore his messages. Very simple.

Show quote history

Thanks, I'm going to tell him I spent the weekend with my boyfriend. It's not fair on my boyfriend as I would not like a woman messaging him daily.

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 09/01/2023 08:46

Why fanny about? Just tell him to stop messaging you. Block him. End of story.

Hiddenvoice · 09/01/2023 08:47

Sorry op but it’s not fair on the other guy either- you’re leading him on with what seems like a normal exchange of messages. You should have been upfront about your boyfriend months ago- this guy isn’t a problem unless he’s messaging and annoying you when he knows you have a boyfriend- then you should just blocks. However, he’s clueless to this, he thinks he’s in with a chance and that may be because you haven’t told him he’s not.

daybroke · 09/01/2023 08:51

Just tell him you're in a relationship and block him.

Flounder2022 · 09/01/2023 08:51

Hes messaging everyday cos you're replying everyday. That's not sending him the message you say you wamt to send. Don't tell him you spent the weekend with your bf, tell him you are not interested.

A guy used to message me regularly. I told him I was not longer single. So he used message every so often to check if I was single again yet!!! The only way is to be clear, you're not interested, boyfriend or not!

gamerchick · 09/01/2023 08:52

Come off it OP.

Tell him you have a boyfriend and close the door. You're being ridiculous.