Was I in the wrong? Husband in a huff obviously feels wronged

[BiscottiBiscotti]

for context we’ve both been I’ll since Christmas and are feeling a bit cooped up. Feeling a bit better and we’re taking dog for a walk with her in back of car.

I asked him how he was and semi joking said how’s the sex drive and he sai’oh that’s gone for ever’. I said that sounded a bit harsh to say it’s gone for ever., he said that’s not what he’d said, I said ‘it was exactly what you said’. So he slammed the brakes on, and thrust his head at me saying ‘just hit me then, why don’t you just beat me up?’

I just got out the car and went for a walk on my own. I was back about an hour later and he’s said 2 words and now gone out to see his family.

he’s got form for slamming the brakes on in The car when he’s stressed or frustrated or angry. Sometimes on quite busy roads.

I thought I was doing the right thing by just leaving him to it as he obviously wasn’t best chuffed with me,

There have been threads on here about the red mist descending, that moment when some ill-timed jibe or quip that in itself isn't a huge hill of beans is enough to make someone snap.

Even the OP says they think the "joke" wasn't actually that smart at the time they made it.

Why is it people will call the response to a poke at someone's sexdrive "insane" when it's the man getting upset but when it's the woman on the receiving end it's cruel, goady, mocking and that oh so overused term abusive.

@daisychain01 Why is it people will call the response to a poke at someone's sexdrive "insane" when it's the man getting upset but when it's the woman on the receiving end it's cruel, goady, mocking and that oh so overused term abusive.

when was the last time you poked a joke at a woman’s sex drive while driving and she shouted and very aggressively pulled the brakes in the middle of the road?

Why does the OP sound ridiculous? She made a jokey remark to her husband and he responded in a very bizarre and dangerous way. He sounds unwell. What did she do wrong?

I wonder if he’ll feel bad when you’re in an accident due to his horrific driving?
Randomly chucking out the anchor is such a stupid thing to do

OPs H is clearly an immature manchild who uses aggressive tactics such as slamming brakes on or shocking statements such as "hit me" to ensure OPs compliance. Yes. That's abuse.

Also, British men do seem, from my fairly limited experience, rather immature. Not the worst, but definitely seems to be a higher number of man child, emotionally immature, entitled Bell ends than most. Plenty of possible reasons, but not enough time or frankly can be arsed to dig into the details.

Have you ever hit him?

I sympathise OP- my H has done this quite a few times too if I've said something quite mundane in the car that has pissedhim off or mentioned work at a bad time etc - he has terrible bad moods when driving . I don't drive because I actually realise I couldn't cope with him being a passenger!! He didn't drive till 8 years ago when he was 50 , so I never realised he would be like this.

Sadly this was my first thought too :(

Not sure if OP is coming back now her thread has been stupidly de-railed.

His reaction was extreme, but your ‘how’s the sex drive’ question seems a bit odd considering you know he’s feeling sensitive about the lack of sex in your relationship atm.

Yes. The way he reacted apart, that's a bizarre thing to say to a partner when there's clearly a problem. If a man 'joked' at a woman like that in the same subject, we'd all be absolutely furious and backing her up.

I can't help thinking there's more to this situation.

As a woman I wouldn't poke fun at a man or a woman about such a sensitive subject when they're behind the wheel of a car.

So I can't answer your question I'm afraid. What I know is

A I'm not insensitive and
B I know its best not to aim insensitive jokes at someone, because they may act irrationally.

This isn't all planned out, it wouldn't even occur to me to do the above but since you asked....