My partner and his family have forgotten about our daughters birthday and booked a retirement party instead

[Millymoo14]

I’m feeling really hurt that my partner and his family haven’t remembered our daughters 2nd birthday in March and they’ve gone and booked/arranged a retirement party instead on the day of her birthday. I feel really hurt, however we don’t see much of his family either (but they don’t live far away, only 30 mins away).

I don’t know to react…!! I’ve had to be ok with it for now but the more I think about it the more I don’t want to take our daughter to the party. I know my partner will be upset and angry as he’s in a band with his brothers that are performing for his mum’s retirement. Yes I can arrange a party for my daughter the following day, but his family won’t come as they all either still be drunk or very hungover. His family really frustrates me, they never make the effort to come over to see us, we always have to go there.

any advice I’d appreciate x

The retirement do isn’t on her actual birthday, it’s on the day the OP was thinking about taking DD to Thomasland.

And apparently also on the day OP was planning a party and having all the family round 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don't think how OP expects anyone else to know the plan when she's clearly confused

You are working yourself up to a tizzy over nothing very serious. Your daughter will be 2 ; she won't know or care on which day her birthday is celebrated. She won't know or care whether there is or is not a celebration at all. You were not planning a celebration on her actual birth date so why does this matter?

Their retirement event and your daughter's birthday can both be celebrated. If you are angry, recognize that your anger is not on your daughter's behalf as none of this actually matters to her. I would be sad for my daughter if she came from a family where all of the members are comfortable getting drunk at a celebratory even. If would find that more concerning than a simple mix up in dates.

Sounds like you’re angry you haven’t got in there first to ‘claim’ the Saturday date you wanted and unfortunately subsequent posts have details all changing.

If it was me -

1. have a party on her actual midweek birthday after work. Presents, cake, candles - and whoever from the family you want to invite.
2. Thomas land the weekend before
3. Ask granny if you can have a cake/candles and sing happy birthday at the retirement party.