Dad dating again

[throwaway2023]

NC for this
My parents were married 51 years and mum died in July 2022 which hit dad pretty hard
He's met someone and I'm trying to articulate my feelings over it but not doing it very well!

He wasn't there when mum died as "he had said goodbye and couldn't cope" which pissed me off because if I was married 51 years I would damn well expect him to be there! I had to be instead, and then tell him, and it wasn't nice

From what he's said he's met this woman maybe 4 times, and is now basically staying with her, has invited her on holiday and thanks dad been to the GP for "something private" which he managed to say in a way that sounded like viagra

I'm very much IDGAF what he does BUT I don't want to hear about it. I don't care if he's up until 5am but I don't want to know
Don't get me wrong he's not saying anything graphic but every phone call is about how he stayed out, slept over, going to do this and that with her and I'm... it's been 6 months since mum died

Well done @throwaway2023, sounds as though you were brilliant. I really hope he listened to you. Did you feel as though he was listening/ hearing you?

Glad that you have cleared the air. The only thing I would say is that this person is an important part of your dad's life and it will be hard to have a genuine and open relationship with your dad if he can't speak about her at all.

Update that's there's not much change
He's living with her most of the time now, and every conversation is about her
"X is off here, X has lots of clothes so I'm building a new wardrobe, taking X to the airport, I'm staying with X until Friday..."

We went for a meal (me and dad) and he was "oh this was her idea"

I usually get round it on calls by saying "yeah you said" and changing the subject. Feelings about it are still I'm glad he is happy but I'm still eye rolling silently when every other word is her name. Mostly a bit.. not numb but totally indifferent to it