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Original poster

WWYD? New partner smokes, told him I don’t like it and could he brush teeth in morning before we kiss and he won’t, said I’ve offended him?

56 replies

Redflagsmoking · 04/01/2023 12:15

Basically all in the title. Boyfriend of less than a year. He smokes regularly. Doesn’t brush teeth going to bed and in morning then tries to kiss/initiate sex and I just hate the taste. He got offended and said I’ve made him some like he’s rotten. Sometimes it’s worse than others e.g if he has been drinking night before and smoking more. When I get up in morning I always brush my teeth

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 04/01/2023 12:17

stop having sex with him or kissing him.

TBH I just wouldn't date a smoker now, with the availability of other options like vaping there really isn't an excuse.

Finalcountdown2022 · 04/01/2023 12:17

find yourself a new partner! If they can’t show you the respect of maintaining basic personal hygiene this early on in a relationship, things are only going to get worse from here on in

Original poster
Redflagsmoking · 04/01/2023 12:18

I honestly don’t get it. He says “oh you never kiss me now” and I said because i don’t like when you’re still so Smokey but I do want to kiss you

OP posts:
PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 04/01/2023 12:19

It's your choice to date a smoker or not, but this sounds more of a dental hygiene issue - you have different standards, I guess. Don't persist in the hope he will change or quit smoking.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 04/01/2023 12:19

Ditch him.

Beamur · 04/01/2023 12:20

It's the truth though - his breath is rank and it's unappealing. If he's not prepared to keep up basic hygiene I would be reconsidering this one! Bleurgh.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/01/2023 12:20

But if you didn't like it, why did you date him in the first place? Has something changed?
Mamy many people won't date smokers because of this.

Original poster
Redflagsmoking · 04/01/2023 12:21

arethereanyleftatall · 04/01/2023 12:20

But if you didn't like it, why did you date him in the first place? Has something changed?
Mamy many people won't date smokers because of this.

At the start I think he must have made more of an effort because I don’t remember noticing it so much and I’m pretty sure he brushed his teeth more?

OP posts:
Ihatethenewlook · 04/01/2023 12:21

Well he can be offended then can’t he? My partner works away, so the rare times he’s home he does have a few gins most nights and we spend most mornings trying to get some ‘us’ time in before the kids get up. This usually means me sending him straight to the bathroom for some mouthwash and a willy wipe the second he turns to me in bed for a cuddle 😂 people smell, it’s nothing to get offended about. If he’s not clean then he’s not getting any, simple as that 🤷🏼‍♀️

Biscuitsneeded · 04/01/2023 12:22

Ugh, grim. The smoking is unpleasant anyway and would be a no-no for me, but not brushing teeth at night and then expecting kisses/sex in the morning is a complete turn-off. He doesn't sound exactly delightful.

category12 · 04/01/2023 12:22

You can't make him brush his teeth or give up fags if he doesn't want to. Pretty grim, though.

So it's whether you're prepared to overlook his lack of hygiene and stay with him (while sticking to your guns about no kissing when he's gross).
Or whether you move on and find someone with more appealing habits.

Hellzbellz25 · 04/01/2023 12:22

Ewww that's rank not brushing before bed especially if he smokes, his breath must stink in the morning, I'd have lost respect for him to be honest, if he's not gonna sort it out then you have to end the relationship I think

arethereanyleftatall · 04/01/2023 12:24

As it's WWYD, I would leave. Well I wouldn't have dated him in the first place. Not smoking and basic hygiene are non negotiables for me.

Dryandirriatble · 04/01/2023 12:26

He doesn't brush his teeth before bed or when he gets up?

Most people need their teeth brushing before being very kissable in the morning IMO, not just smokers.

CuntyChopss · 04/01/2023 12:26

Ihatethenewlook · 04/01/2023 12:21

Well he can be offended then can’t he? My partner works away, so the rare times he’s home he does have a few gins most nights and we spend most mornings trying to get some ‘us’ time in before the kids get up. This usually means me sending him straight to the bathroom for some mouthwash and a willy wipe the second he turns to me in bed for a cuddle 😂 people smell, it’s nothing to get offended about. If he’s not clean then he’s not getting any, simple as that 🤷🏼‍♀️

I hope you’re giving your minge a good clean too if you’re ordering him to clean so should you.

ICanHideButICantRun · 04/01/2023 12:27

So he doesn't brush his teeth at night, he doesn't brush them in the morning and he smokes? His breath is bad. He won't have any teeth for much longer, either. I wouldn't go anywhere near him.

HaddawayAndShite · 04/01/2023 12:27

Morning breath is grim as fuck anyway, never mind being a smoker and not brushing before bed… rank. I don’t think I could deal with this tbh.

simplefree · 04/01/2023 12:27

don't date a smoker in the 1st place

Original poster
Redflagsmoking · 04/01/2023 12:28

He does brush his teeth in the morning when he’s up and has his shower etc

OP posts:
purpledalmation · 04/01/2023 12:29

It won't work, I never kissed my exH because of his foul breath. He brushed his teeth before sex otherwise we wouldn't have had it.

ICanHideButICantRun · 04/01/2023 12:29

He doesn't brush them at night though? That's really horrible.

FeinCuroxiVooz · 04/01/2023 12:29

if he's not even willing to do anything to stop tasting like an ashtray when you kiss him, he's not your "partner" is he? he barely even qualifies as "boyfriend". you have been on some dates with him, he haw shown you he is a selfish jerk. get rid. the end.

WinnieFosterReads · 04/01/2023 12:31

tbh if you don't like kissing him because he's smoky then don't date a smoker. You're framing it as though it's about hygiene but regardless if he brushed his teeth three times per day, there are still going to be points when he tastes of smoke. If you can't get over that, then end the relationship. You knew he was a smoker when you started dating him.
fwiw I would never date a smoker because I know I don't want someone who smells or tastes of smoke.

Starseeking · 04/01/2023 12:31

Just get rid of him.

Ihatethenewlook · 04/01/2023 12:32

CuntyChopss · 04/01/2023 12:26

I hope you’re giving your minge a good clean too if you’re ordering him to clean so should you.

Show quote history

I would if he asked. And I always do if I’ve worked a late night shift and I’ve been too tired to get a shower before getting into bed the night before. But as it is he loves receiving oral sex whereas I hate it. So it’s more important for him to wash his genitals because they’re going in my mouth rather than my minge imo.