“We went through it”

[BlueMumma2018]

Hi!

Just wondering if anyone has been through a few totally shit years with your spouse and it work out in the end? I’ve heard from a few married couples that they went through tough times.
Im still hanging on by a thread (or a few) we still very much love each other. Life has definitely got on top of us. We’re in our thirties with a young child, stressful jobs etc.

those that come out the other side, what happened for the tension to ease? Was it maturing, agreeing to disagree, kids getting older? We’re in it for the long haul… at present!
Thanks!

Yes definitely all three of them help, but also trying to make each other laugh, have a project/goal together (we used to go to hot yoga together!), making sure we're both ok on the MH front, get a cleaner, go out for a meal/get a takeaway once a week..

Difficult when we're both tired but things definitely got better as kids grew up (they are 9 and 7 now)

I think shit is relative. Dh and I definitely had a crappy patch when the youngest dc was 1-4 and we came through it. There was no abuse or anything. Just didn’t really see each other. Both working hard and weekends just seemed like hard work. It gradually got better. The key thing is that parenting got easier tbh so we stopped resenting each other for our perception that the other one wasn’t pulling their weight

Both of us stopped drinking alcohol when DC were 4 and 2. Changed our life and relationship with each other and the kids

Parenting getting easier - the early years up to mid primary age were so hard. What Michelle Obama has said struck recently a chord - I always loved and liked my h but I felt stuck and derided at work, stuck with all the unreasonable demands from dc, no sleep, substandard and overpriced childcare options and felt that my h fairly ploughed ahead whilst being praised anytime he did anything with the dc. There was a lot of resentment on both sides to jettison and get back to giving each other the benefit of the doubt and trying to see the other side.