My boyfriend is close to his ex

[JeffJen1234]

My boyfriend is close to his ex wife and they message that they miss each other

My boyfriend of 7 months recently told me that he is still close to his ex wife. They were married for 10 years, no kids. He also admitted that she tells him she loves and misses him. He tells her he misses her too and sends her kisses. They also discuss me! He supports her by giving her money all the time. They text a lot and she calls him. He said he only loves her and misses her as a friend. She lives in another country so it's not possible to get back with her. He doesn't understand why this has upset me and doesn't think he is doing wrong. He said it will be difficult for him but he will cut ties with her. I feel like he's been emotionally cheating and a little bit of trust has gone. Do I trust that he will cut ties? He says he loves me and wants a future with me, I'm so confused.

Dump him.

You are 💯% right, he is emotionally cheating. Bin him

Throw this one back. He’s not ready for another relationship.

My partner is still quite close with his ex and I know there's likely always to be love between them. They share 2 children so are obviously still very much part of each others lives. I trust him and his feelings for me but if I thought they had that sort of communication, I wouldn't accept that. It sound a little like the only thing keeping them apart is distance. 'It will be difficult' to cut ties?? None of that sounds OK!

There's no right or wrong here. Many people have happy relationships and strong relationships with their exes. Many people would not be happy with their partner doing this. It's up to you to decide what you will and won't tolerate.

He doesn't understand why this has upset me and doesn't think he is doing wrong

It's not about 'doing wrong'. There are quite literally no rules or guidelines about this stuff. Nobody can tell him he's wrong, because who would be the authority? You have to decide if you like it. He does what he does, and he's entitled to. You have to decide what you want, and what you want to do if you don't get it.

A little? Scrap that!! it totally sounds like that!

Trust yourself. First of all it's OK to say what you won't put up with in a relationship. Discussing your relationship with an ex might be one. Sending kisses and misses to an ex also. The next and main thing is...

Do you believe him when he says he will cut ties? Is he generally a person who keeps to his word even if its difficult? Have you seen evidence of that?

I'm very close with an ex of mine, to the point that we still call each other pet names and text lots of kisses. We've always done it, no matter if we're dating other people. We're just affectionate with each other because we split up because we were bored of each other not because we hated each other. We're good friends. So it doesn't mean anything in every case.

I also see someone being able to be friends with an ex as a positive thing.

@LadyOfTheFliessssss have either of you had LT relationships since breaking up?

Yeah, both of us. I have more fun hanging out with his current girlfriend more than him tbh.

We're part of a big friendship group though so it would be impractical for us to avoid each other.

Ditch him. He's playing you off against each other.