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Original poster

Ex wanting money from the house

57 replies

Busybrain83 · 24/12/2022 04:03

I separated from my husband 5 years ago and the divorce came through 2 years ago. I got into a relationship with my ex pretty much straight away. I quickly became alienated from some friends and family as she was a woman and they felt it was too quick. I’ve slowly repaired matters but it’s been a difficult time. I have 2 children 10&8. My ex was insistent on going on my mortgage; she was not on the property ladder when I met her . I would have preferred her to purchase her apartment(which became an option whilst we were together) and pay me a rental income but she was insistent I commit to the relationship by adding her onto my mortgage. Following the divorce I had decent equity and a good LTV so she didn’t feel the need to put any money in, despite my unhappiness at that situation. The mortgage payments are cheaper than her old rent. Looking back at messages she talks about retaining this money for a deposit for a house should our relationship not work out. 22
months after signing on the mortgage we find ourselves separated and I find myself in a situation where she is getting my house valued and I believe is going to ask for a substantial amount of money. I have 2 dependents, she has none. She is hoping to walk away with a chunk of money she can use for a house deposit. Any advice on this scenario? For me there’s a legal argument and also a moral argument, one that she is failing in, if I’m honest. I’ve offered to pay her £5k but I think she is after more. Any thoughts appreciated.

OP posts:
silentpool · 24/12/2022 04:10

I doubt she is entitled to anything given the length of the relationship. But see a lawyer and get this clarified.

You were certainly foolish to add her to the mortgage but I would remove her from it and watch out for chancers like this in the future.

NewIdeasToday · 24/12/2022 04:10

Are you married to her?

Reugny · 24/12/2022 04:11

She's screwed herself as she now isn't a first time buyer and property prices have started to fall.

Did she put any money into repairs whilst living with you?

Did she put she buy anything for the house?

Unfortunately you need to get legal advice on how to pay her off, if indeed you need to pay her off. As the longer you hold out as property prices are falling it may mean she get £0 back.

determinedtomakethiswork · 24/12/2022 04:12

Is she on the deeds?

PurplePinecone · 24/12/2022 04:14

Did you protect your equity before she went on the mortgage?

Orla32 · 24/12/2022 04:17

How did you hold the property? Joint tenants or tenants in common?

Lalanana · 24/12/2022 04:18

It sounds like she's on the deeds, as that's what people normally mean when they say 'added to the mortgage' and it wouldn't make sense for her to be pushing to take liability for the debt without the ownership rights.

OP, what share did you give her? Agreed you need a lawyer, but on the face of it she's entitled to the share you gave her. Unless you were married, when other factors will come into play, but you haven't mentioned marriage.

Mydogatemypurse · 24/12/2022 04:21

I think you will be ok. She sounds like a selfish bastard and well rid.
Postives are, not married, you had house first, short relationship, short time on mortgage, you have kids, she would have had to pay to house herself anyway.
Get some legal advice and good luck xxx

Lalanana · 24/12/2022 04:22

I also think you should rethink whether the objections from friends and family were really because she was a woman, or because she was doing things like this.

Fingers crossed you protected your equity. Horrible thing to be going through OP.

Talon01 · 24/12/2022 06:09

Surely it depends on what this adding to the mortgage means. What does it say in terms of equity.

user1487194234 · 24/12/2022 06:16

Adding her to the mortgage doesn’t really mean anything
Did you transfer a share in the house to her?
If so that’s her starting point for what she is entitled to
Take legal advice

ShandaLear · 24/12/2022 06:17

See a solicitor straight away and don’t offer her any money. Your relationship was short, and it appears you were coerced into putting her on the mortgage (I don’t know if that makes a difference but it would like that’s what she did). Did you put her on the deeds?

Talon01 · 24/12/2022 07:28

Orla32 · 24/12/2022 04:17

How did you hold the property? Joint tenants or tenants in common?

This is the issue having a brief look online. If joint tenants she may have equal rights.

I dated someone that bought a property with someone. Her ex put down ll the deposit and they only lived together for something like a year (maybe not even that) and she walked away with half the equity. Morally it seemed wrong but not legally.

Definitely get advice and offer nothing before then.

Darhon · 24/12/2022 07:38

If you are joint tenants in common by what you did, she’s entitled to half the house. She can get the house valued but you both have to agree and sign for it to be sold. If you are joint tenants and you don’t agree to sell, she’d have to get a court order for sale.

MeJane · 24/12/2022 07:45

It sounds like she thought she was on to a good thing and she thought by getting herself on the mortgage she was going to get half your house or something ridiculous.

I definitely think you need proper legal advice because she sounds like she's done this purposefully to me. Stupidly as well as you have hardly been together five minutes. Even if you were married it would be legally a 'short marriage'.

Don't communicate with her at all from now on until you have been to a solicitor l

DosCervezas · 24/12/2022 08:12

See a solicitor.
Although house prices are falling, they did appreciate quite a lot over the period you were together and she was on the mortgage, however even if she paid half the mortgage for 2 years that doesn't mean that she is entitled to half of the increase in value over that time. Your share of the home is all the previous equity and mortgage payments you had made before she arrived compared with her zero. Sounds like she might try something on. She might have perhaps 10% of the house ( probably a lot less). If your house increased by say 50 k over that time she might have an argument for wanting 5k. But definitely not the half ie 25 k.
It's complex and needs a solicitor. And prices are dropping si she might be looking to cash in quick while she has a slight case.

category12 · 24/12/2022 08:19

I'm not sure you should have made the offer of £5K as that was kind of admitting she has a claim. You need to get proper legal advice and not discuss it further with her until you have.

DosCervezas · 24/12/2022 08:32

category12 · 24/12/2022 08:19

I'm not sure you should have made the offer of £5K as that was kind of admitting she has a claim. You need to get proper legal advice and not discuss it further with her until you have.

As the house value would have increased whilst she contributed to the mortgage she does have a claim and I don't think it's helpful to point blank refuse to recognise that.
It's also probably a sensible attempt to settle without expensive legal negotiations which could easily cost more than any possible settlement figure. Without knowing mortgage contributions, house value, changes to value over the years and previous equity in the house it's difficult to guage whether 5k is a reasonable starting offer. It could be.

category12 · 24/12/2022 08:38

DosCervezas · 24/12/2022 08:32

As the house value would have increased whilst she contributed to the mortgage she does have a claim and I don't think it's helpful to point blank refuse to recognise that.
It's also probably a sensible attempt to settle without expensive legal negotiations which could easily cost more than any possible settlement figure. Without knowing mortgage contributions, house value, changes to value over the years and previous equity in the house it's difficult to guage whether 5k is a reasonable starting offer. It could be.

Show quote history

Fair enough - it wasn't clear to me whether she was contributing to the mortgage cos OP said she hadn't put money in.

DosCervezas · 24/12/2022 08:43

Yes it's not clear whether she's been making mortgage payments.

I took ' not putting money in' as in not making an initial payment to take part ownership.
No mortgage payments, no contributions, no marriage would probably give her no case for anything.

Goldbar · 24/12/2022 09:14

What do you mean by 'on the mortgage'? Do you legally co-own the house?

CaponeOnTax · 24/12/2022 09:17

You will not get an answer on MN but you need to see a solicitor and get her ‘off the mortgage’ (what do you mean by this?).

The main thing is: lawyer up.

femfemlicious · 24/12/2022 09:25

To be honest what she has done is the holy grail on mumsnet. Women on here are always trying to get added to mens house deeds for their "protection"😣

Original poster
Busybrain83 · 24/12/2022 10:25

Hi all, thank you so much for this. So for clarity,

she put in no down payment, she piggy backed onto my existing equity and then started to pay 50% of the mortgage payments. She told me that she would retain her ‘deposit’ for if the relationship didn’t work out. She has contributed to a repair on the house (guttering) and replaced some carpet with me. She also replaced a garden shed, though this was never something I was that bothered about or used.

we did sign an agreement ‘deed of trust’ which retained my equity prior to her coming into my mortgage. So we are tenants in unequal shares. The valuation at that point was low (I felt pressure to go lower she she argued she had been waiting a while and property prices had increased) but it wasn’t ridiculously low, I went for the lower end of the spectrum but it was on the right tracks. She claims the house has increased by 50-70k in 2 years.

I a quick conversation with a solicitor but this was a free initial chat, and I need to go back and have a sit down with all the figures I think. She brought an estate agent to the house when I wasn’t there but had coke back recently and said she would work off the valuation that was set when she went on the mortgage. I assumed that going on the mortgage would mean that she was on the deeds … I will check this out. She is saying and doing different things and I am finding this incredibly stressful. I still pay back another loan on the house due to my divorce , which goes towards significant work that was done to my house prior to her moving in (large extension, new kitchen , bathrooms, bifold, etc). She told me we had ‘transformed the house’ together, but in reality this is painting and adding shelving and a radiator cover plus a couple of decorative items.

I will go back to the solicitor but will never ever get financially involved with someone ever again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Busybrain83 · 24/12/2022 10:27

And we are definitely not married nor were we engaged.

OP posts: