Ex wanting money from the house

[Busybrain83]

I separated from my husband 5 years ago and the divorce came through 2 years ago. I got into a relationship with my ex pretty much straight away. I quickly became alienated from some friends and family as she was a woman and they felt it was too quick. I’ve slowly repaired matters but it’s been a difficult time. I have 2 children 10&8. My ex was insistent on going on my mortgage; she was not on the property ladder when I met her . I would have preferred her to purchase her apartment(which became an option whilst we were together) and pay me a rental income but she was insistent I commit to the relationship by adding her onto my mortgage. Following the divorce I had decent equity and a good LTV so she didn’t feel the need to put any money in, despite my unhappiness at that situation. The mortgage payments are cheaper than her old rent. Looking back at messages she talks about retaining this money for a deposit for a house should our relationship not work out. 22
months after signing on the mortgage we find ourselves separated and I find myself in a situation where she is getting my house valued and I believe is going to ask for a substantial amount of money. I have 2 dependents, she has none. She is hoping to walk away with a chunk of money she can use for a house deposit. Any advice on this scenario? For me there’s a legal argument and also a moral argument, one that she is failing in, if I’m honest. I’ve offered to pay her £5k but I think she is after more. Any thoughts appreciated.

I'm sorry this happened to you OP.

Just to clarify- was the solicitor acting for both of you? Or just her? You really should have been told to get your own independent legal advice before signing it, we're you?

Signing that document (effectively gifting equity in your home in exchange for help with mortgage payments which you probably didn't need) was against your interests. The lawyer shouldn't have acted for you both, it's a conflict.

Could you get a different opinion on the value when she came on as an owner? These things are subjective. I'd get an expert who will say something more advantageous to you and negotiate from there

I'm also in Australia so not sure how it works elsewhere.

I suspect if OP goes through the paperwork she will find that the solicitor did advise her to get her own advise at the time, and likely covered themselves by doing so.

Also it sounds like the solicitor was acting for the ex girlfriend, not OP. In which case solicitor doesn't owe a duty of care to OP. Solicitor can draft agreements for their clients asking for the moon, it's really on the other party to advocate for themselves, understand what they are signing and protect their own interests.

I'm sorry OP. I hope you get it sorted quickly and can move on.

Not only that, solicitors often start with a draft document that massively benefits their client. If the other side don’t negotiate a better deal, that’s on them, legally speaking (see all the women on Mumsnet who are advised not to take the settlement offered by their ex’s lawyer).

Do not speak to your ex again other than through a solicitor. The first thing you should ask the solicitor is if you can change the locks.

The valuations from estate agents acting on here behalf are by no means set in stone. Find your own representatives to counter their possibly inflated valuation. House prices are falling in most places now. Valuing a house is not an exact science.

I would be very surprised if the solicitor did not advise you to take independent legal advice
It’s a pretty basic requirement,and in all the circumstances if I had been instructed to act in this matter alarm bells would have been ringing very loudly indeed

Even if the solicitor didn’t cover the position fully ,you would still have serious difficulties in overturning the Deed of Trust

The difficulty is that you entered into the agreement freely

Please take legal advice and make no further offers to your ex

Your best hope is probably a compromise deal

Just to note, I’m not convinced your ex is a con artist. She could have got you to buy as joint tenants and tried to walk off with half the deposit as well.

From what you say, she came up with the deed of trust that protects your deposit without you asking her to do so. That isn’t going to look bad for her in court. It’s not the most favourable division of equity for you but the way it’s set out isn’t totally unreasonable.

Also, how much can the difference be? I know houses went up over the last couple of years but they’ve dropped back down again.

I think you need a family lawyer to look into all these things (they will be used to property valuations for the purpose of splitting equity too) but if the difference is only a couple of thousand, you could end up paying more than that to the lawyers. If it goes to court, costs will skyrocket.