Heads been turned

[Gahgahgah]

Been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and have recently started a new job in a very male dominated environment. Someone in work really likes me and I hate to say that I like him back, the attraction is strong yet I have a lovely partner who ticks all the boxes already. Does that mean that something is missing in my relationship? Do I just hope that it eventually goes away? It’s making me feel distant towards my boyfriend and like I don’t care as much etc.
has anyone got any advice or been in a similar situation and how to handle it?

After 2 years the honeymoon phase is over and a bit of flirting with someone else can seem a sort of exciting return to the early days with your current partner. But the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, at my old job we used to say also ‘don’t f the payroll’ as relationships at work can cause a lot of complications and harm your career if things go badly. I would enjoy my little daytime fantasy just in my head, not cross any lines and ask myself the question about my relationship in a few months again.

It's normal to show interest in others, even to have crushes but it seems like you're checking out of your relationship for someone you haven't known very long.
Do you flirt with him? Do you do or say anything to him that you wouldn't if your boyfriend was present? if so, it's kinder to let your boyfriend go.

Is it worth losing your bf over? It's attraction, most crushes won't tick the box in what you're looking for other than sexual desire.

Dangerous territory and you are playing with fire.
There is mutual attraction between you and this work guy. You say he likes you, how do you know?

Would you still feel this way if you didn’t know that he liked you? Sometimes that’s all that’s needed to make a head turn, and it’s worth considering if there’s a bit of unconscious flattery playing about.

In the rare occasion I’ve been in danger of having my head turned, I’ve handled it by completely cutting or at least very much limiting the interaction/contact I have with the head-turner. No chatting, no flirty Teams messages, no emails that stray beyond the absolute minimum necessary to get the job done. Don’t think about them, don’t interact with them.

Don't go there , imagine if your boyfriend had his turned , how would you feel?
Cut contact as much as possible with the guy .

Don't flirt, keep it business like but friendly.

How would you feel if your bf was flirting with someone at work.

If there's a bit of excitement missing just now work with your bf to rekindle the spark. Doesn't have to be fireworks you both just need to remember to not let it die out.

Some personality types are always on the lookout for the next better thing. They fail to adapt to the changing nature of life and instead feel that life should be perfect. If there's nothing wrong with your current relationship, why change it for the sake of the new shiny thing which might turn out to be a dud?

It's important to keep renewing the bond with your partner. Sometimes life gets in the way and oxytocin levels aren't what they should.

Tell him you're feeling like you aren't as close anymore and can some time for the both of you be penciled in.

Never mix business with pleasure, very dangerous

I've never had my head turned when I'm happy in relationship. I have when I'm in one that is making me happy or I've "settled" for. And this doesn't mean I don't find anyone else attractive, but I will only give them a glance and keep moving - there's nothing beyond that.

You just have a crush. You will get over it.

From experience I would say it’s not worth it. I had my head turned and it made me realise possibly something was missing in my relationship, it caused me nothing but anxiety and stress. Really wish I hadn’t met my crush

How long do “crushes” last for? Definitely need to make more time for my partner, and I am definitely always seeking excitement and want things to be perfect which isn’t realistic, would love to change it otherwise I’ll never be happy, but don’t know how to

Think how you would feel if you lost your boyfriend. Sad or free?
My head was turned by someone at work. I realised it was because my relationship was fundamentally shit. It was actually a good thing for me as it gave me the kick up the bum I needed to get rid of a cock lodger. But if you're happy overall then I think you need to step back and remember what you could lose. Is it worth it for a fake fantasy with someone you barely know? Only you can answer that.

The only thing I can say, from experience, don't go in there. You will destroy yourself, your life and the way you perceive yourself. It's not worth it. Stop all contact with this guy as soon as you can. You are in a very dangerous territory, one that can cause damage to all involved. I have been there, and still am experiencing the damage this can cause. Your relationship might be lacking something, I would speak with your boyfriend and make him aware. Communication, open and honest communication, is the best policy here. Now this is if you want to remain on your current relationship. Think really hard about what it is that the new guy is giving you? Why are you attracted to him? The fact that you are asking on musment what to do means that you have probably already crossed boundaries, some kind of boundaries. It gets worse if you don't stop now. Please, please sort it out, nip it on the butt as soon as you can! Don't make the same mistake as me. I wish, when I was in your shoes, somebody would have slapped me and told me to stop.

*Wish somebody told me to stop and slapped me before I embarked on the worst journey of my life.

Can we dispense with twee Love Island terminology such as 'head turned' which gained currency in recent years. It kind of trivialises the fact that you are weighing up having an emotional or physical affair.

This is when you need to step back as much as you can and try and close any distance you feel with your boyfriend. Being in relationships won’t stop you finding others attractive or gaining feelings for others, as long as it ends there. That’s commitment and monogamy for ya.

If there’s any problems in your relationship then address them together. If there isn’t then accept that finding others attractive and distancing yourself from your partner doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship, but that there will be if you allow your feelings for someone else to make you forget your feelings for your partner and relationship

How do you know this guy is for real perhaps he hits on new employee’s it’s his thing or showing off to other colleagues?

Please don’t fall for this. In lots of workplaces the male hottie exudes charisma around the newbie (always female) to see if she’s “up for it” then reports back to all his mates. Is she is silly enough to fall for it she gets called a slipper and never gets promoted.

Establish your career. Maintain your professionalism and dignity. After you have done this, if you slowly, over time, get to know someone then maybe, just maybe, you could attempt a relationship.

I am sorry for the harsh wording but having seen this done to people more than once, I had to warn you how it can end if you aren’t careful.

In answer to your question, it’s normal to find other people attractive while in a relationship. Most people slightly avoid the crush until the feelings pass.

Always think of the worst case scenario and work your way back. In the cases I mentioned, the women lost their relationship, their job, the male hottie never had real feelings for them and they were pretty devastated. It takes years to recover.

Someone in work really likes me and I hate to say that I like him back

Are you sure he fancies you in that sense rather than he's just being nice to you and you're reacting. I'd hate to think that people I was nice to at work thought I fancied them.

I think it's time for you to grow up. Otherwise you'll be having 2 year relationships for the rest of your life.