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Original poster

More OLD batshittery

97 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 20/12/2022 16:40

Chatting to a guy and video called . All going well. Arranged to meet at a pub halfway. The day before he messaged to say he was looking forward to it. Arranged the time (tea time ish) he said shall we meet in the car park and I said no , whoever is first go in and grab a table as it was during the chilly snap. He asked if I was ok with that. I said that was fine with me and I don't mind being by myself waiting for a person and told him a recent funny story whereby me and my friend had both turned up a bit early for our meeting at a local coffee shop in order to get a bit of reading time/quiet before the other one arrived. The day for the meeting came and he said he didn't want to meet as it put him off that I didn't want to wait outside for him.
WTF ???
I'm not upset at not meeting- bullet dodged but I'm more aghast at this level of old fashioned attitude. Also, OLD means you often have to meet in halfway places which means you can sometimes be early or late so I would have thought the ability to entertain yourself would be a positive.
What. Is. Wrong. With. Middle. Aged. Men. On. Dating. Apps?

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 20/12/2022 18:05

Perhaps he wanted to show off how chivalrous he was...opening doors, ushering you to the best seat, pulling the chair out, hailing the waiter/barstaff and ordering your drink. Makes him seem like the big man. And you go and spoil it all by opening that big, heavy door all by yourself. You stinker!

DosCervezas · 20/12/2022 18:15

It was a negative mindset I know, but when OLD I could never help asking myself why is this person still single and on the dating scene. Sometimes it was obvious from the first moment. This sounds like one of those times.

DatingDinosaur · 20/12/2022 18:17

Perhaps he wanted to see how long you’d stand outside waiting for him before you realise you’d been stood up.

As for someone messaging “hi beautiful”? Nah, I’d have been put off by that alone. Save it for when/if we get into an actual relationship mate.

Amazonmulu · 20/12/2022 18:21

I probably watch too many crime dramas but if someone would only meet me in a deserted car park in the dark... it would ring alarm bells. Defo bullet dodged!

thenewduchessoflapland · 20/12/2022 18:26

At this time of year it's dark by teatime and if I was a lone woman I wouldn't want to be hanging about in a dark car park even if I was sitting in a locked car.

EmmaAgain22 · 20/12/2022 18:27

NoNoKimono · 20/12/2022 17:56

I don't OLD, but the middle-aged men where I live are deeply insecure. Any whiff that you've travelled (by which I mean got a train alone), had a hobby or career, and they're off

Do you live in the 19th century? How weird.

Tuilpmouse · 20/12/2022 20:10

JoyBeorge · 20/12/2022 16:45

Has he just worded it incredibly poorly and really mean he isn't comfortable sitting inside waiting by himself because he might feel self conscious say alone if you're really late?

Even if that were the reason, it would be a pathetic reason...

iamjustwinginglife · 20/12/2022 20:18

crochetmonkey74 · 20/12/2022 16:40

Ooh don't know why all those full stops are there. Ignore!

I loved the full stops!! Completely emphasises sone of the dickhead using OLD!! Some of them are just bloody weird!!

Tuilpmouse · 20/12/2022 20:19

Jefferz54 · 20/12/2022 18:04

Maybe he has social anxiety and didn't want to go in alone

Why are you making excuses for the guy... If he was confident enough to go on a first date with someone he never met before, then I can't imagine his social anxiety was so bad he couldn't enter a pub on his own!

And let's say he was anxious, if he was so timid that he couldn't even walk into a pub on his own to meet me, he'd be too much of a wet lettuce to be a suitable person to date.

Afterfire · 20/12/2022 20:28

Lucky escape. Just weird!!

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 20/12/2022 21:19

Watchkeys · 20/12/2022 17:58

People are strange. When you're not shocked and aghast about it, it makes life much easier.

I don't need to find it easier, I just want to share and chat about it.
I'm OK being shocked and aghast at wankery

OP posts:
Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 20/12/2022 21:22

Tuilpmouse · 20/12/2022 20:19

Why are you making excuses for the guy... If he was confident enough to go on a first date with someone he never met before, then I can't imagine his social anxiety was so bad he couldn't enter a pub on his own!

And let's say he was anxious, if he was so timid that he couldn't even walk into a pub on his own to meet me, he'd be too much of a wet lettuce to be a suitable person to date.

Show quote history

Exactly my thoughts

And also yes to the pps who said you wouldn't want to hang around a dark car park. For safety, and also why would I when I could be sitting comfortably in a warm pub

OP posts:
pinneddownbytabbies · 20/12/2022 21:24

Talon01 · 20/12/2022 16:53

Struggling to understand this one.

Women do have a tendency to be late for dates so maybe he didn't like the idea of being stuck in the pub for half hour beforehand but even so if you were late he'd still be waiting 🤷‍♂️

Since when did any man turn down the chance to have a drink in a pub - even on his own?
Grin

PrimroseYello · 20/12/2022 21:25

Dodged a bullet.

PhillyJoe · 20/12/2022 21:27

That is so weird. But has been a timely reminder about how mad OLD is. I was just starting to consider trying again. I will not bother.

Pinkbonbon · 21/12/2022 01:23

Sounds like he wants women to wait on him. To feed his ego. Doesn't like the idea that if he just doesn't show , you'd happily just have a drink and then go home.

You've doged a bullet!

VisaGeezer · 21/12/2022 05:51

Absolutely bizarre.

Downunderduchess · 21/12/2022 07:00

I thought it sounded like he didn’t like how confident you sounded, that you were happy to sit alone inside and wait. Perhaps he likes his ladies to be meek & needy? Whatever the reason it’s probably best you didn’t waste any more time on him. Onward and upward!

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 21/12/2022 08:33

Downunderduchess · 21/12/2022 07:00

I thought it sounded like he didn’t like how confident you sounded, that you were happy to sit alone inside and wait. Perhaps he likes his ladies to be meek & needy? Whatever the reason it’s probably best you didn’t waste any more time on him. Onward and upward!

Yeah , it's weird as I find that confidence attractive in a person. I find faffy neediness about not going in etc a real turn off

OP posts:
bloomtoperish · 21/12/2022 09:05

I found it doesn't take much at all to make a man chicken out of meeting up

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 21/12/2022 09:56

But they love the endless chatting

OP posts:
Tuilpmouse · 21/12/2022 10:52

Downunderduchess · 21/12/2022 07:00

I thought it sounded like he didn’t like how confident you sounded, that you were happy to sit alone inside and wait. Perhaps he likes his ladies to be meek & needy? Whatever the reason it’s probably best you didn’t waste any more time on him. Onward and upward!

I wonder if he didn't like how you didn't just agree with what he wanted, and that you therefore wouldn't be compliant and would make for a "difficult" partner... so angered at your lack of submission, he baled. Pathetic of him, but a lucky escape nonetheless.

Tuilpmouse · 21/12/2022 10:55

And that his pride was hurt by letting you have it your way instead of his way.... and he couldn't have that!

Greenginghamdress · 21/12/2022 12:25

I would have preferred to meet outside too in this scenario, I would have been less nervous/self conscious that way.
Maybe he didn't feel he knew you well enough to say this, but he should have told you that.

It was weird of him to chicken out for this reason. No great loss.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 21/12/2022 13:04

Tuilpmouse · 21/12/2022 10:55

And that his pride was hurt by letting you have it your way instead of his way.... and he couldn't have that!

Yes or not fitting into the exact mould he wanted.

OP posts:
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