Have you been sued by your parents?

[NeptuneOrion]

Tell me how it went? How did you cope?
Did you win your case?

I have NCed. I can't give you all the reasons and exact dates for legal reasons.

After years of chipping away at us and giving one hand to slap us with the other; we went NC with Parent-in-Law (singular) 3 yrs ago.

They are now suing us for contact DC1 >10yo and DC >3yo.

During the NC, PIL has used flying monkeys to try and harm us. We have a lot of emails from them saying demeaning, horrible things to us but never outright swear words.

Their lawyers have been by the book and suggested family therapy, mediation etc. PIL is a covert Narc and we don't want to do therapy etc. There's no point.

We are now in a sh*t legal position where we have had to withdraw our objection to their seeking leave to file a c100. It is costing us 1000s we don't have.

I have come here to ask who else is being sued by their stately home parent/s.

I need to feel less alone with it. PIL knows to be all sweetness and light and we have suffered for a decade almost without witnesses. I am starting to feel like they have us over a barrel.

Bloody hell. I’m so sorry OP, no advice I’m afraid. I have to say I didn’t know that grandparents have a right to access. Are they suing purely to see your DC or for money or what else? How stressful.
Im sure someone will know more about accessing possible help for the legal costs.

Can you give details of relationships they previously had with your dc? Because there has to have been one for them to make an application I believe..

Without knowing the full details, the general.legal stave is that you, as parents with PR have the right to decide who your child has contact with and why. You don't need to justify this to anyone else.

They, on the other hand, would need to demonstrate a long term, close and committed involvement to your children such that it would.cause great harm to your children if it were removed.

I looked into it a few uears ago when I went nc with a parent in case they tried similar.

Unless they can demonstrate that rhey have played an ongoing, critical role in their lives, they don't have a leg to stand on.

I imagined this would mean if the children had lived with them or they'd been involved in some sort of daily caring role whilst you were unable to undertake it and that, once you were able to do so, also wanted to just cut them off. That sort of thing. Although I don't know for sure

When I read 'grandparents have no rights with regards to seeing their grandchildren'. I gave up worrying about it.

My toxic parents tried to get access to my DC citing “grandparents rights".
I got a letter for mediation before going to court.
I rang them (the office that sent the letter) and said I won't be coming to mediation, or considering any access between them and my children as they are toxic and it's not in my children's best interest.
Never spoke to parents again.
It's been over ten years of bliss.
Of course they are furious and try all sorts to get attention but I've dropped the rope entirely.
They didn't have a leg to stand on because grandparents don't have any rights unless they can prove they were very close to the children in a sort of parenting role.

No one can 'sue' for contact and doesn't mediation have to take place before they can file with the court?

When I went NC with my parent, I blocked them on every communication channel, moved house and changed my name.

I am still loosely in contact with two siblings but have refused to give my new address.

In your position I would look to prevent any contact.

They don't have parental rights and you owe them nothing, legally or personally.

What a nightmare. Sorry I don't have any advice but surely they don't have a leg to stand on?

To clarify, I am not asking for advice per se. This is all really happening. We have legal representation. We refused mediation, you can't negotiate with a Narc.
PIL is seeking monthly direct contact. There was a relationship. But it was frayed for a year and non existant for 3 yrs after that as we try our utmost to not have toxic adults around our DCs.

I am just asking if anyone else has been in this situation. How did you survive?

With the little one surely they've barely had a relationship since the child is 4ish. They can't prove an ongoing close relationship.

With the older one >10 means their views are getting more important. Would they want to see their GPs?

All in all if you can't afford lawyers then you become your own. Read decisions, read the law, get as much advice as you can, access free services.

Yes, when someone wants stories it does rather scream JOURNALIST, doesn't it?

What are you insinuating

Moi?

Hi OP. I was in this position some years ago when my DC were v young. I work in law so it wasn't quite so intimidating for me from a legal perspective. Emotionally, was a different story though

my mums a narc and I recently went NC she knew it was coming and they threatened legal action too. what about legal aid? I dont know how it works but how about suing your parents for the abuse. Theyve gone too far now

Not a first post. She says she has name changed because it's personal and sensitive

Oh wow. Thanks for the suspicion. I have NCed.

I got my signs wrong. DC1 is under 10 and DC2 is under 3.

All court papers state that we must not name the parties publicly hence my need to be vague. I posted on Stately Homes and was told "you need your own thread."

I can't tell you how isolating and lonely an experience it is to be pursued by someone who is a covert NPD and has way more financial means. That's why I came here to find others like me basically.

😂 I like your style

My parents were sued by my grandmother around 20 years ago. This was for money she claimed my father owed her, when in fact she had given it as a gift. My parents settled at repaying half the amount on the condition she never contact them (or me) again. We have a family wedding coming up next year which she'll be attending, so this could get interesting for my mum and me.

So sorry you're going through this OP. Chin up and do what's right for your family and your family alone.

@Justcallmebebes did you "win"?

Hi Neptune. They didn't get that far. This was in 1996 when ADR wasn't such a thing as,it is now so they would have had to follow thro and issue proceedings. They were obviously advised they had little prospects of success so didn't.

I obviously don't know your circumstances, but I assume if you've got a solicitor you've been advised similar. Just because they're got legal representation, doesn't mean you have to engage with it

Go have a look on Gransnet. Go to forums, then Estrangement. Lots of info and threads there to help you.

www.gransnet.com/forums

My mum died last year and because I have a horrendous amount of FOG, I was helping my step dad sort out paperwork for probate and found a lever arch file of papers, docs and letters about me and reports to police, SS, Dr's etc. It was mental and floored me