Have you been sued by your parents?

[NeptuneOrion]

Tell me how it went? How did you cope?
Did you win your case?

I have NCed. I can't give you all the reasons and exact dates for legal reasons.

After years of chipping away at us and giving one hand to slap us with the other; we went NC with Parent-in-Law (singular) 3 yrs ago.

They are now suing us for contact DC1 >10yo and DC >3yo.

During the NC, PIL has used flying monkeys to try and harm us. We have a lot of emails from them saying demeaning, horrible things to us but never outright swear words.

Their lawyers have been by the book and suggested family therapy, mediation etc. PIL is a covert Narc and we don't want to do therapy etc. There's no point.

We are now in a sh*t legal position where we have had to withdraw our objection to their seeking leave to file a c100. It is costing us 1000s we don't have.

I have come here to ask who else is being sued by their stately home parent/s.

I need to feel less alone with it. PIL knows to be all sweetness and light and we have suffered for a decade almost without witnesses. I am starting to feel like they have us over a barrel.

We had this OP...

They had 'general contact' for a year. Which in reality meant I took them to see my parents in average of once a month. It NEVER went well and I left each time due to their batshit demands of having regular overnights 'weekly so they could learn how to be normal people which they would never get from us' ... (they are super religious) ..

After 7 months they applied for leave to approach the court .. this was granted.. much to our disbelief because of the lies in their application that said we lived with them for the first year and provided all childcare because we were 'unable' to due to my MH issues. (I have never had any MH issues) ..

They then made the application.. and evidence was required to support their claim.

I was able to produce evidence that showed we lived in different houses during the time they claimed we lived with them...

At the first hearing the judge dismissed their case as having 'no merit'

We self represented. Cost us the price of two days annual leave for court hearings .

Haven't had contact for 11 years. They tried to appeal but was also dismissed..

Their flying monkeys still try ... their lawyers still send ridiculous letters every six months which we ignore . Kids also now at an age where their views will be considered so they have no hope..

I learned ONE thing from all of this ..
a solicitor/lawyer can write ANY letter their client dictates.. they can ask you to stand on your head with a feather up your arse .. doesn't mean shit . The ONLY thing that is relevant is an ORDER from a court .. so until that happens tell them to jog on...

Hopefully all will go well…

just for reference there are a few articles on the net about this…. Their solicitor is generally regarded as the point of the sword… It’s also a point of weakness, if there’s being lies or abuses.

www.sra.org.uk/sra/research-publications/balancing-duties-litigation/

There is also cases of solicitors being found guilty of harassment and it’s not uncommon for organisations to fall foul of this too.

If you are already heading before a court, don’t lie or embellish, but rather if you can demonstrate/evidence they have lied and that their solicitor has knowledge of said lie, yet presents it as fact…. It will irreparably damage their case.

@LlareggubTripAdviser Thank you! People first remark to me is always "Grandparents have no rights, so this can't happen." But it does!

@Bard6817 Thanks I will read and send to DH.

But it hasn't, they've paid for solicitors letters and submitted the c100 form but what really are their chances, what have CAFCAS advised, from the info provided they needed to have had an established relationship with the children
Have you been told that they will get access and on what grounds?

I am not permitted to divulge the exact content of the Cafcass letter. It basically says "children have a right to a network of family members, but the adults don't get on so it's difficult to see how contact could happen."

So CAFCAS aren't really supporting it then
What has your legal advice said about the possibility of it actually happening.
It seems at the moment it's not actually happening.
Do you have chance to submit your proof of the situation?

We have been asked to submit witness statements by x date in 2023.

The thing is .. this is not specifically grandparents rights .. this is the process for anyone who seeks legal contact with a child for whom they don't have PR.. it's not 'special' to GPs.

I can literally fill in a form asking for leave to apply to the court for contact with YOUR children.. I can make up any reason why.. BUT if I am given that permission I still have to provide the evidence.

Asked by who op?

Surely if you've paid thousands to a solicitor for legal advice they will have advised you of the likelihood of the GPs getting access, I'd say from the info you've given the chances are small

I feel like a bit part of this story is missing....

But the court threw it out and it only got as far as it did because that poster's parents lied!

And yet it was still thrown out because... grandparents have no rights

@Stomacharmeleon I can't give the full story as I not permitted to. It's written in black and white on everything the court sends us.

@Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon by the last judge we saw.

I thought it would be a case of showing up to the permission hearing, PIL being laughed out of court and us going home peacefully. But it apparently doesn't work like that. The first panel decided they were not competent and we should see a
different judge. Then that judge intimated PIL would win the permission to file a C100 so we have had to concede to save 1000s and now we have a couple of months to file witness statements and evidence before we go again but this time for a 3-day contested hearing.

Again I am NOT asking for legal advice. I was asking who else has gone through this and how they coped.

I don't understand the suspicion and slight aggression I am feeling off some posters.

Thank you to the posters who have been kind and shared their experiences. It genuinely helps. Being where we are is like the twilight zone, nothing makes sense, the feelings of illegitimacy are immense and I cannot believe 2 judges seem to think this is ok.

Our barrister is quietly confident but no decent lawyer ever says "Oh you'll def win this."

I'm going to say this with kindness, OP, because I underatnad how it happens within families like yours and when dealing with people like that.

But I think you have mistakenly positioned yourselves as the victims in this scenario when, actually, you are the ones with the power.

If you just hadn't engaged in the first place, this would be letters and dramatic phone calls behind your back. As it is, you've paid thousands in legal representation that you didn't need that most likely wasn't necessary. I don't know about the legalities of having to be part of it now.

As for the carcass comment you quoted, that is not in support of the in laws at all. It's a statement of fact - it is good for children to have extended family networks; it isn't going to happen in your family so 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wonder of you've spent so long feeling hard done by and put out by them that you're effectively now doing their job for them.

Don't mean to sound harsh. Like I say, I've been there...