Divorce and dog

[Lunamom]

I left my abusive husband 5 months ago. We lived on a farm , i worked from Home.
Since Then, i moved to rented flat, unemployed (worked for him) 2 teenagers with me.
We had a 1 year Old labrador. As i was The one ruining the Family, i brought the dog. We all love her. Good as Gold.
She is not coping. Today she bit my daughter, in unprovoked play, she bled. (English is not my language)
I wont keep her. I did not want her in flat. But could not say no to kids. But this changes everything.
Kids hate me. I found a place for her. A farm . People work from Home. They Hunt (she love that)
Im sure this is the life for her. Not a flat.
But kids hate me.
Tell me please they Will cope. I broke the Family and now i take their dog 😖

She bit a child. She’s dangerous regardless of what excuse you want to use to cover that up.

Great contribution with great ideas, I think this will help🙄

I Will ask for this to be removed - i dont have the stomach for it. She bit by accident, she was worked up and i see that as she is understimulated. Not dangerous. She is a labrador and good as Gold. But she does not belong in a flat.
Thank you everybody for your kind replies , it actually really helped me. And i know i am a doormat to my kids. I Will Think about that, after sunday.

You want your thread removed because you’re being told that a dog that bit a child is dangerous?

This is exactly why there are so many dog attacks these days. Because owners make up excuse after excuse.

No dog that bites is safe, let alone “good as gold”.

Thanks. Big help.

Believe me, as an adult the irony wasn't lost on me 😂

I was a rather, shall we say, strong willed child, and I think they feared I'd march off to try and look for him. I kind of understand their reasoning but I do wish they'd been honest rather than me spending years mourning a dog that was actually living the life of riley ten miles up the road.

Both kids are working me - promise to walk more, train more , play more.

Tell me i am doing the right thing - im getting weak. Until now I stood my ground but I can feel my self getting weaker

You’re a grown adult.

Why are you allowing your kids to ride roughshod over you getting rid of a dangerous dog?

OP, you are doing your best in very difficult circumstances.

Op, you are 100% doing the right thing. You know that. Just keep repeating to the kids that the dog will be happier once it's rehomed. Have you got any good photos of the dog with your kids? Perhaps you could have one framed for them.

If your kids are harbouring s lot of anger of the divorce might it be possible for them to have some counselling?

Good luck. You are doing the right thing.

You were right to rehome the dog, and you found a good home for her. The DC should blame their abusive father.

When you feel low, remember it is harmful for children to grow up in an abusive household, even if they are not being hit. You are protecting them as well as yourself by leaving your abuser.

I hope you get a good settlement from the divorce, and can live more comfortably than now.

Thanks again.. you really help.
And yes - I'm going after half of everything. Probably why he hate me.

Sorry you are all in this situation. Could you possibly wait until after Christmas and see how things go.

I still live in a flat after Christmas. And still in a city.

I’m not sure I could get rid of my kids dog when they’ve already gone through so much upheaval . When I say I’m not sure , someone would have to prise my dog from my cold dead arms as there is no way I would rehome him .

Did you read my messages? She bit my daughter, even if it was because she was "worked up " and we live in a flat. Not a life for a Labrador. I love her too. She sleep beside me in sofa now. But it is not a life for her. She need nature, not a city. She need more exercise, more stimulation. But yes, I'm close to caving

It sounds like a farm is a better environment for her. It’s so hard as pets become family, but you need to put safety of your kids first.

I’m confused. If she bit in play then why are you getting rid of her? Just tell your children to be calmer in their play, and then walk her more.

Obviously the biting might put a different spin on it @Lunamom but lots of labradors live in cities / towns

lots of dogs live in flats. she just needs lots of calm indoor training, lots of walks and training outside.

I would not get rid of the dog at the moment, your kids need her as much as you do right now.

It isnt ideal but just keep her for your kids mentall health

I should have put voting on 😂 she is calm and lazy indoor. But never of leash and way to "wild" when playing. I walk her half an hour in the morning, kids walk her for an hour after school and I walk her half an hour in the evening.
Don't know now... but she hurt my daughter, even if it was play.. some people here say she is dangerous, other say keep her for your kids mental health.
What the fuck to do 😖

Can you adopt a program with more exercise etc? Implement things to keep her mind occupied too like frozen kong treats and puzzle games for her?
Reassess in the New Year?

I buy bones at the butcher. Throw dinner in the grass to make her "work" for it. It is mostly that she is never out of leash, never free to run. There is nowhere here, with no car.
When I start work, she will have to be home alone - she hate that.
I don't know. I feel myself getting weak. Because I love her, kids love her. But worries it is not enough for her and that is why it happened

She doesn’t sound dangerous, just that she needs training and handling better. I’ve had lots of labs from rescues, and they’re always rehomed about the age of one because they are so boisterous at that age. But I can also understand why you’re rehoming her, and where she’s going sounds ideal. I took on a mumsnetter’s dog because they were going into a refuge. I told the children I promised to look after him and that he’d never be frightened again etc. Their mum had also told them that I was really helping her out. They seemed prepared. Perhaps that’s the way forward? Tell them what a lovely home she’ll have, all the space and exercise etc. I do feel sorry for the children though. It’s a double whammy after the hurt of the divorce.

I know. But that is why I'm not sure.