What would you think of someone acting like this?

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What would you think of someone who does the following:

• Is rude to people in public, such as staff for getting orders wrong, or staff in call centres who can't do what you need them to do.

• Unpredictable moods. One minute they are happy and the next they are angry over something very small.

• Occasionally breaks things in the home if they are annoyed. They may punch a wall or throw things but not aimed at people.

• Gets angry at other people for behaving in a way that they themselves do on a regular basis.

• Aggressive when driving but don't like it when others are aggressive to them.

• Very particular about how things have to be at home, such as where things go or how to do things.

• Blames everyone else for their own mistakes or blames it on their childhood.

• Shows signs of jealousy if their partner goes out with friends

But then when they are in public they are friendly, polite and charming. And can also be friendly and charming at home, but not very often.

Diagnosis: asshole

Recommended action: get rid

Has this person suffered any trauma? Sounds depressed. Behaviour is undoubtedly on the cuntish side, but something clearly isn’t right with this person.

Standard cluster b personality disorder: sociopath/psychopath or narcissist.

More likely one of the later 2 considering they can control their behaviour in public to appear decent when they want to.

I'd suggest googling 'vulnerable narcissist'. He sounds like one of them knobheads.

And, run.

I’d think this isn’t someone I’d want to have as a friend or DP and if they were a family member I’d avoid them as much as possible.

This. Definitely.

www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/vulnerable-narcissist

I think we can all have our moments and i can relate to the first few of your examples...so I might be ruder than I should be to a person in a call centre if I'm massively frustrated.

Or now and again if I'm in a rush, I would drive aggressively, but be angry on a day when I wasn't rushing if someone did it to me.

I can lash out at times and stomp about at home if I'm feeling overwhelmed or angry about something. I can't relate at all to your bottom 3 examples.

However, over 90% of the time I would act normally. It would depend how often the person was in "nightmare mode" for.

They sound naturally angry with the world when things aren't 'just so' according to their standards. Sounds entitled.
They are possessive. Sounds vulnerable.
They present 'two faces'.
I agree with PP who suggests researching 'vulnerable narcissism'.
Perhaps one of this person's primary caregivers put them on a pedestal at times and neglected them at other times?

I'd think that anyone in a relationship with the person would be at risk of domestic abuse/violence and should not be hanging round to analyse them.

I'd think it was classic narcissistic behaviour. Is that what you were asking, OP?

Not someone I would want to be with, been there, done that and will forever carry the consequences.

Be very careful, don't let them know you know, try not to change your behaviour, they will sense it and either turn on the charm (to create a false sense of safety for you) or ramp up the abuse. Or both. I have to recommend you make plans for getting away from this person. Sorry

It is what I was asking. I've never heard of it before until I started to google the way my partner is behaving.

I read an article on narcissism and couldn't believe what I was reading. But he's so good at putting doubt in my mind.

That's what they do. They keep your head so full of them, make you doubt yourself at every turn, you don't have space to see their behaviour for what it is. There is a lot of information and help out there. I found Dr Ramani on YouTube to be useful, Women's Aid were amazing.

There will be people who say "Just dump him and move on" but narcissistic abuse is its own kind of special, it really does fuck with your head and I suggest you do whatever suits YOU to deal with it and hopefully soon heal from it.

Look up 'grey rock' as a way of dealing with him meantime.

Don't doubt yourself

Standard issue abusive asshole.

Read the book Why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft

😂

Sounds like my adult DS.....have spent years wondering if he actually has an official issue but concluded he is, unfortunately, just a dick and I will never be able to have a normal relationship with him 🤷. It really sucks.

Narcistic psycho - LTB

This article reads like utter 💩and it demonises people with genuine mental health issues.

Sounds like narcissistic behaviour to me but it doesn't really matter what name you give it, the end result is toxicity.

Do not think you can fix the behaviour, it's a choice otherwise they would behave the same way everywhere.

End the relationship now while you still recognise this behaviour as abnormal. If you stay he will suck the life out of you and throw away the husk of your former self.

Bin him

Arsehole.

I'd think they were a dangerous, violent, bully & I'd do everything I could to avoid them.

😂

This describes my ex to a T. Just a plain old asshole. And it's the reason he's an ex.

😂

This is brilliant.

Can you find a way of getting yourself out of this relationship? Eventually he will turn on you (you're starting to see it already), and then you'll wish you'd got out sooner.