Losing weight before online dating - yes or no?!

[Rochellebee]

Title says it all. I’m in my thirties and want to date with purpose of having family one day . However I’m size 18, but I work out, dress nice and I’m fairly confident. I am ready to put myself out there, but wondering if losing weight would widen my choices. If I was in my 20s I would take my time to lose weight, but I’m thinking if I’m dating men in their late 30s early 40s hopefully the good ones wouldn’t be superficial like men in their 20s. Haven’t dated forever (was in long term relationship). What are your thoughts?

May I ask would you date a guy who was overweight? Size 18 is only a little over the average these days so take some honest pictures along with the flattering ones and you'll be surprised how popular you are.

Strike whilst the iron is hot and you are too!

You may end up with a sexy diet buddy to help you both work a few lbs off. Good luck.

I would start to lose weight if you want to, plenty of other benefits aswell as attracting men, and in the meantime start online dating but be honest in your photos. As you say not everyone is superficial and some might be over weight themselves anyway

I would definitely date a guy who is plus size 😊thank you … definitely honest full body pics would be added to my profile . I’m currently losing weight and training for marathon, but just don’t feel like waiting (really feeling ready emotionally)

I don't think you should pause dating because you are waiting to loose weight. You sound lovely and there are lots of men out there who would love to meet a curvy, confident woman. Looks are only a tiny aspect of who you are and if a man isn't interested you at a size 18 (just because of your weight) then he is probably not the man you are looking for.
Use recent pictures and you can go in feeling confident that they are on the date because you look like their type.

You might find someone who wants to get fitter and healthier with you! In the meantime you can start loosing the weight, but I would definitely not miss any opportunities for fun dates/ finding love.

Thanks for posting this. It’s difficult to know what to do - I am in the exact same situation so I sympathise. Losing confidence when in a LTR /marriage is awful for your self esteem but you pick yourself up again and try again (as the song goes). It’s lovely to read the other advice given from others.
I hope it works out for you and wish you all the best. Back yourself x

Yes! Why not? Get yourself on there 😁 I came out of a LTR and remember being terrified that if I put too flattering photos on there, men would meet me in real life and think I was a right cat fish, so I made sure I had a mix of flattering, full body & I even braved a no make up selfie and had that as my 'main' picture...I met my current boyfriend (and the love of my life!!) on there. I remember him saying on our first date "you actually look exactly the same as your photos! Most women don't 🤣". men will love your confidence, size 10 or 18! x

Depends whether your weight effects your self confidence. The fact you're considering holding off from putting yourself out there until you've lost it suggests it does, and that you think OW you is less attractive than slim you.
Rightly or wrongly, a lot of women who lose weight report a surge in confidence, and when dating the more confident you are the less likely you'll be to settle for less than you deserve.

Just put yourself out there.
You'd be surprised how many men are willing to love you for being you.

Me I'm a size 14-16 currently. Sometimes I have to wear 18 as I have a rather large belly sometimes (fibroids). So many men have been nothing but utterly lovely. Despite what the media would have us believe, many men do prefer women with a bit more meat on the bones and junk in the trunk.

I’m a size 18 too and have had plenty of dates with keen men. I’m not feeling the spark with most of them.

One guy I’ve known online for years but only just met in RL. He’s hot AF, seemed really keen and said how much he’d fancied me all these years. I said before we met up - you do realise I’m old and fat?! He was very reassuring that it was him who was out to impress me, and he gave me a lovely kiss goodbye at the end of the date and said he didn’t want to let me go. We’ve since had another veeerrrry nice date!

Plenty of men will find you attractive - not even just other overweight people. PTs and gym hotties will still happily get together with plus size women. Get on there and enjoy yourself!