Why do men think this behaviour is acceptable?

[Heidi3333]

I'm really annoyed right now!
I've been chatting to a guy I met off a dating site for a few weeks and the chat was nice and civilised. He's only 28 and I'm 20 years older but I didnt mind. He said he'd like to come up and visit me (he lives hours away) and I was happy with that. Then last night, when I asked him what he was up to, out of the blue, he sent me a video of him pleasuring himself! It was under the covers but you could quite clearly make out the details.
I wasn't sure how to respond but eventually replied with a yawning emoji which he laughed at and said I was really pretty. I said thanks and haven't heard from him since and I have no desire to ever meet him now!
This happens to me all the time. In fact only a few weeks ago a guy I was chatting to sent me a d!ck pic without any warning.
It's a major reason why I'm still single. I just can't seem to attract anyone decent.
Why do guys think it's acceptable to behave like this? It makes me really
Angry and despairing that there are no good men out there ☹️

What a prince!

can't say this is something that's ever been tempting to do when ive been in the early stages of dating, infact only pics of that nature were with the wife and its pretty rare that happens, not a chance this is a sensible thing you do if you actually want to meet someone and have a chance of it progressing from texting.

its sadly a bad selection of guys messaging, believe me, they dont all have this ideology this is a good idea to do.

dont give up, just block and move on

It's because they like it but they lack the intelligence sophistication and self-awareness to understand that you don't
In other words dumb as a rock 🤷

Jesus wept, this is toddler's behaviour, not that of a mature man.
It's depressing, this sort of man must think that just because they are turned on by bits of flesh then women must be the same.
How wrong they are.

They worship their own penises with such fervour and devotion that there is no space for anything else in their little heads

If the receiver hasn't asked for these pics/videos then it's just another form of flashing, like the dirty old men in raincoats in the park.
The only difference is they've made some half arsed attempt to get to know you via t'internet.

Why don’t these disgusting men just use prostitutes?

But why do men need to 'use' a prostitute at all? We all (men and women) have sexual needs but it's only men who feel so entitled to it that they think they must force it on someone or pay for it.

I like sex very much but it never occurred to me to 'use' anybody to get it. I don't see other people's bodies as objects for me to use.

No offence OP, but no 28 year old man is after a 48 year old for a relationship.

Keep all the dick pics in a folder, then every time you get one reply to them attaching every single dick pic you've ever had, like a chain letter, saying 'I'll add you to the gallery'

Not sure how that helps really.

Lol I don't think I would have enough space in my phone for them all!

Yuk he's a garden variety twat.

All men are on the dating sights for sex. All of them. They'll lie and do anything to get it.

Here are some helpful readings for dating

www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/recommended_reading/

Seriously?

And what about women who use OLD? Is there something wrong with them too?

Yes, you get idiots online but I have met plenty more in real life to be honest. I met my dp online and he has not once sent me or anyone else a dic pic. He has, however received the female equivalent.

You asked him what he was doing, he sent a video showing you what he was doing...

No excuse and a load of 'ick'. It's a no from me.

You have my sympathy I remember those days too well.

I was once chatting to a guy for a few weeks who lived about 200 miles away. Seemed really sweet and we'd planned to meet up but I caught the flu so had to rearrange. He asked if he could send me something to cheer me up, so I arranged for it to be delivered to a local shop so I didn't have to give him my address. Went to pick the parcel up expecting a bunch of flowers ... box from Ann Summers with a dildo and a bejazzled butt plug in it I'm not a prude but at no point had any of our conversations been in any way sexual so it was a very odd gift! Safe to say I was really creeped out and blocked him immediately haha.

Not long after that I met my now DH randomly on a night out. Keep persevering there are some great people out there you just have to get past the weirdos first!

OLD sites and apps aren’t for dating or starting a relationship and haven’t been for at least a decade now. They are DTF sites and apps.

For awhile various entrepreneurs were doing spin off apps and sites marketing that they were for people looking for relationships, real love, etc. But that’s all been given up on because OLD is a massive failure at matching compatible people up.

My daughters don’t use them at all. For their generation, you only go on them if you want one night stands.

That’s why men and women both go straight to sexting and explicit photos.

Guy here ..

A couple years back I had a couple (late 30s / early 40s) female friends that were single and online dating. They would tell me how guys on these dating sites would ask if they want to "see it", sometime within the first couple of messages. Even as a guy I was actually in disbelief. I've been involved in a LDR, so at times we would have our fun via pics, but that was with someone that I knew for years. I couldn't imagine asking a woman something like this within a couple of chats (or even more for that matter).

While these 2 female friends didn't appreciate this either, they told me that they had other female friends who considered it fairly normal and not necessarily a bad thing. Online dating has become like buying a car. You want to know the bells and whistles before deciding if you want to purchase. While I've never dated online myself, I understand that putting one's desired earning requirements in a profile isn't considered uncommon these days (ex. >$100k annually). Supposedly there are some females who like to know what the male is working with before deciding if they want to pursue that potential relationship any further.

.. Not my opinion ^ Something actually told to me by females. lol

God this is depressing. I didn't realise this.
Explains a lot.

I understand that putting one's desired earning requirements in a profile isn't considered uncommon these days (ex. >$100k annually)

Do I take it from your use of dollars that you're not in the UK? Just that I haven't heard of earning requirements ever being a thing in UK OLD.

Wowwwwwwwwwww

and send him back a kind of contact sheet of the whole gallery maybe?

It’s so grim. I’ve been single over 10yrs too. Up until recently perfectly happy too. A work colleague is OLD and I have been following with interest. Fortunately for her she says she’s had no dick pics etc, think she’s on Hinge? I was thinking about it after she tried to convince me to try it, then 2 days later an ex colleague I’ve always had a spark with asking me out for a drink! Saved by the bell. But if this doesn’t work out I might give it a go as in my work in 20yrs there’s been 2 single people I’d have gone out with! Not a great place to meet people. But hoping I don’t need to as such disgusting creatures on there

Because an alarming number of men really genuinely believe women enjoy this and it will lead to a reciprocal video or more.

This^

Because not enough people in their life (that they would listen to) have told them its not acceptable

and this^

Because even those who know its not acceptable don't care.

but mostly this^

As a pp remarked it's been likened to sex offenders i.e. flashers exposing their genitals in public for their own thrill and the revulsion/fear they get from their victim/intended target.

It's just degrading.

I suspect that for every, say, hundred unsolicited dick picks they send. They maybe get 1 or 2 tit or vag or female wanking photos back.

They don't care how many times they get blocked by other dating site users that they've sent, their own I assume, dick pick to. Sooner or later, they will get the tit or vag etc picture they wanted. Push push push. It's fucking depressing.

What's wrong with regular porn for these men, anyway ? There's enough of that online etc etc etc isn't there ?

Again, as a PP remarked that's models acting. I guess they can kid themselves a return fanny etc pic they got from someone OLD is real somehow. They just want someone who is desperate for attention and the joke is on them, ultimately.

Tragic, really.

Why are you trying to speak to 28 year olds when you are nearly 50?

I know of three people who have found spouses on dating apps. I don't think they are all about hook ups but a lot of people do just want something casual.

I think it is all down to luck. I've had good dates, bad dates, I've dated men who have messed me around and some who wanted relationships. I've had unwanted dick pics and a vile video sent to me.

Don't give up OP! Don't take it too seriously. Go on dates, have fun and if there are any red flags move on.