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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Broke up

2 replies

ConcreteHands · 30/11/2022 10:18

Hey there, just here to get some valuable knowledge and opinions. I’ve recently been dumped after a 4 month relationship, she was 26 years older then me, I’m 32. Everything was going swimmingly until her ex fiancé decided to turn up 9 months later once he heard she’s dating again to finish off a job in the house. This is the ex fiancé who was with her for 12 years split up for another woman then got back with my ex for 9 months then dumped her on Xmas day last year for the same woman again. Now the he is back with my ex, 3 days after she finished with me, so I feel she was monkey branching with me in my relationship. Now she wants nothing to do with me never see or speak to me again is this normal. Also she has called my behaviour irrational pathetic and ridiculous when before she said to leave me alone, I spoke to her neighbour when passing by when she initiated contact and I messaged her best friend which both incensed her. I’ve also bumped into her when she was cycling it’s hard not to as I’ve got a round where she does her cycle. Have I been irrational or not I can’t quite get my head around it. Would just like some opinions please.

OP posts:
MishaBukvic · 30/11/2022 11:06

Chin up, deep breath and move on. A 4 month relationship isn't very long in the grand scheme of things , did you know each other before your relationship began?
It sounds like she's not over her ex and it all sounds very messy. You may well have been a rebound relationship. It sucks, I know.
If her ex has left her twice already, he may well do it again. I'd let go, go no contact and leave them to their own drama.
Dont message her best friend, step back and don't get involved.

ConcreteHands · 30/11/2022 14:30

I am trying, it’s just it was going well we went away for a few days everything fine then she messaged me a few days later saying she needs some time out which I understood, but then she left my stuff in the porch to collect and if I didn’t go round a couple of days later I fear she was never going to say anything to me, she just became hostile to me, that what hurts, just a full 360 turn around from love to hate and I’ve simply done nothing to her. Then I find out she’s straight into bed with her ex a couple of days later and I asked her 3 weeks later why she didn’t just say it’s her ex I would have understood more. But hey I presume now I’ve got closure and can simply live and forget, the only problem is I tend to overthink.

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