Hi All. To anyone who might take the time to read my thread and offer feedback, thank you in advance.
A little background: I’m early 40s, divorced, and just came out of a LDR about 8 months ago. There is a female that works at a place that I frequent nearly daily (where I work and live is within minutes of her place of work). I knew her from a say hello standpoint for a year or more before we started talking a little more friendly. I always thought she was cute, but since I was in a LDR at the time, the thought of pursuing anything further wasn’t something that I had considered.
Earlier this summer, her and I began to chat more, and this is probably because I started initiating more discussion with her. She always seemed engaged in our discussion and, at times, when I felt as if I was running out of things to say, it seemed as if she would make a point of keeping the conversation going. On one occasion I brought her a coffee. On a separate occasion, I came across a small item at a store that she had mentioned that she was looking for during one of her discussions and I gave that to her as well. In both instances, she seemed both appreciative and receptive. One day, she returned the favor by purchasing my lunch as a thank you.
Sometime shortly thereafter, I was talking with one of her employees and that person mentioned that she has a boyfriend that she lives with. To be clear, I never inquired, and it was just by chance that this was actually mentioned. A part of me was surprised because, despite our numerous conversations, she had never mentioned a boyfriend. Another part of me wasn’t surprised because I always thought she was too pretty and good-natured to be single. In addition to my fear of rejection, my reservations about whether she had a boyfriend or not is actually what kept me from asking her out during this month and a half or so period that we had began to chat more (although I did come close to asking on a couple of occasions). Anyway, shortly after learning this I was talking with her one day and she mentioned that she was about to take a trip. I decided to push a bit and said, “So, it’s just you going?” to which she finally replied that she was going with her boyfriend. From that point forward, I decided to just back off.
IRONICALLY, over the next month or so, I ran into her on several occasions dining alone outside at a nearby café while on her lunch break. Her being there would usually catch me off guard and, often times, what I expected to be a quick hello would turn into 20 mins to an hour of discussion on a variety of topics (family, career, exercise, hobbies, etc.).
Again, she always seemed receptive and engaged in the discussion (and still no further mention of the boyfriend). Shortly after these several encounters, she was out sick for a week and I was traveling more for work. Over the next month or so, our discussion was very limited.
On or around Halloween, our communication picked back up some. Around this time, she mentioned to me that she came across something at a shop that she got for me because it reminded her of a discussion that she and I had (and it was another way of saying thanks again for the couple of things that I had bought her a couple months back). A week or two later she texted me one evening and asked if I would want to meet her outside her work so she could give me this gift (which turned out to be very sweet gift). Her and I ended up talking that night for about an hour.
A few things that I didn’t mention in the above: She always does seems to make a point of smiling and saying hi any time that she sees me. For a while this past summer, it seemed as if her and I would make eye contact frequently even when not speaking direct. Her job is pretty busy so while at work our discussion is usually pretty limited. Without getting into the details, she got my number from someone at one point and on occasion will send me a text (typically humorous little things). I rarely ever initiate the discussion and just leave that in her court. There is a 10 year age gap between us (early 40s, early 30s). Our discussion has always remained above board, so to speak. Nothing sexual. One day we were talking and I complimented her appearance in response to a comment she made. She seemed to appreciate the compliment. One point she said I was built like someone that I think most men would find complimentary in nature.
TL;DR – I like a woman with a boyfriend who on occasion seems like she might like me. Perhaps she doesn’t. Perhaps it’s just in my head and/or she’s just being friendly. To be clear, I don’t intend to pursue a relationship with a woman who has a boyfriend, however; if that scenario ever doesn’t work out, she is definitely someone I am attracted to and would like to get to know better.
I have went back and forth as to whether she sees me as just a friend, or if it’s possible that she might like me beyond that. I would lean toward the former, but I honestly don’t know.
Does this sound like she is just being friendly, or is it possible that it could be more?