He suggested ‘we’ start going to the gym

[Starlight31]

Hi my boyfriend has suggested that ‘we start going to the gym and get in shape.

he has gained a stone in the 3 months we’ve been dating. I haven’t gained any weight - I’m just under 9 stone and I’m 5ft4 and wear size 8 to 10 clothes. I walk my dog about 3 hours every day and I go to Pilates every week.

I took this to mean he wants me to lose weight and he was like no I didn’t say that I mean be healthy as we might want to have children soon and need to be as healthy as possible. I pointed out I already do lots and he was like you do no exercise and Pilates doesn’t count. He said I should be doing cardio like running or cycling. I asked him was he going to the gym then and he said he might do stuff at home.

it’s really knocked my confidence. I can’t stop thinking I’m fat now and need to lose weight. He has certainly gained weight and doesn’t seem to do any exercise whatsoever and yet he’s harping on at me about this and saying I would probably do badly on a bleep test

He doesn't want to go to the gym at all...

Read the op! He doesn't want to go to the gym!

You're talking about having a baby 'soon' with a man you've been dating for 90 days?

A man to whom you can't even say 'hey I felt uncomfortable when you said that, can we talk about it?'

Bloody hell.

I think that your instincts are correct OP. I had similar thing happened to me with my ex (years ago) when we started dating. He started hinting to me that I should "hit the gym", but he was indeed very athletic and was going regularly at the time. Then he proceeded to say he can help me sculpt my "behind". I was stupid and naive and madly in love so I did indulge him, but it lasted only about two months.

Fast forward twenty five years later. He never told me I was fat but he did constantly make subtle comments about my looks, even then when I was a skinny as a stick. I was never tall enough, my legs were short, my butt was low etc. Later in life when I started gaining weight he too would suggest I started running, going to gym and once he told me I should not cut my hair short now because my head is bigger.

This person does not appreciate you OP, is indeed suggesting you are fat and should loose weight and is controlling. This does and will affect your self confidence down the road. I would say, not a keeper.

Is this written correctly? Did he say he’d do stuff at home after you said you didn’t want to go? Because this post is written with two different things in it

tne title says literally he wanted you both to go. But then it says he isn’t going.

can you clarify did he suggest you alone gp to the gym or did he suggest you both go, as you originally start off saying them he said he would not go either if you were not`?

because people have ignored the title and first sentence and decided he was suggesting you go alone/

Tell him you don't want to see him any more because he's let himself go.

Don't be insecure about this, that is not the right response. The right response is to look at who the hell this person thinks he is after 3 months, telling you what you do for yourself doesn't suit him, and you need to do what he wants because he's a lardy prick with no self control. Babies? after 3 months? how many red flags do you need???

OP, if you ever come back….. what @WhereYouLeftIt said. 100%

I think it is very bizarre that you would take this it mean he thinks you are fat when you clearly know you are not. Going to the gym together seems a perfectly normal past time for a couple and there is nothing wrong with his suggestion. The only alarming thing and it really is very alarming, is the comment about making babies soon.

Why has he put on a stone inn 3 months?

Gives me the massive ick. Unwarranted comments on how you "should" be exercising? Talking about children after THREE MONTHS of dating? Dump him OP.

Did you miss "I asked him was he going to the gym then and he said he might do stuff at home"?* *They won't be going to the gym 'together'. So there's quite a lot wrong with his suggestion.

Your boyfriend is a fat man who wants a gym buddy. He’s scared of going on his own. And that’s all it’s not about you it’s about him

I think he wants a buddy to encourage him to hit the gym. You do enough, but you could go with him. The likely thing is that you will like it.

At first glance, I would say he wants to go to the gym to lose weight but he doesn't want to go by himself.

However, I don't know him so I can't say whether or not he meant it that way. Trust your own instincts.

As a side note, talking about having kids so early on???? No.