Should bad kissing be a good reason to not start something?

[Bathtubbathing]

It feels so shallow.

I've known this man for 2 years...met online with intent to be fwb. He's 5hr round trip away. Due to Covid and his family we've only met up IRL 6 times.

We get on really well. Text a lot most days. Lots of things in common and can talk for hours.

But he just can't kiss. It's awful. He's told me many times he loves the way I kiss and my gentle guidance telling him what I like in regards this falls on deaf ears.

Due to a change in his circumstances, he's made it clear he'd like a relationship with me now. He ticks every one of my boxes but I can't get past the awful kissing.

Seems a rubbish reason to not try and have a decent relationship with a good and honest man.

Should the pros win over the cons here, or should I go with my gut that says I don't want to commit to such a bad kisser?

You could attempt the relationship but just not bother with the kissing?
That's what I'd do, see how it goes, then roll my eyes when it ends a few months later and say, well, it's not exactly a surprise...
Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Kissing is important to you and he isn't taking the hints. I don't think this is a goer. This is one of the many problems with building up relationships online for too long, isn't it? It'd be a dealbreaker for me, although I can be patient initially as some people need to learn a better way. If they learn, great, if not... nope.

It's the way I'm heading, tbh.

Rough estimate, I snogged over 500 people before I got married. I know what I like and what I'm doing!

XDP was such a good kisser, as was XH before him. Poor guy has a lot to live up to.

Women need to stop worrying about some hyperthetical list of approved reasons to dump men that bring them nothing. you aren't married. You arent even together really. You owe him nothing. And not enjoying any or all of your time together is more reason than you need to justify bit wanting to bother any more.

Not wanting to is enough. This idea we have to suffer thru " training " talking, increasing his confidence , cinstabt discussions and guidence is absurd. If you are 6 dates in and still not at a stage where you wanna rip their clothes off and enjoy every secubd you can in bed its a waste of time really. You have reached old married couple stage without even dating.

I have no idea why you're considering this, none at all.

Find someone who fires up your engine with his kisses and is a decent bloke, don't settle for this.

It would be a deal breaker for me. Imagine spending years with a bad kisser <shudder>.

But we have friends who once admitted to us that they never snog, it was at least 10 years ago, and dh and I still can't get over it. So maybe not as important to some.

You shag someone, but can't be honest about their kissing technique?

It would be a deal breaker for me tbh

Been here. After 4 years it didn't improve and was utterly awful. The fact he was a twat in other areas was neither here nor there!
The first time I kissed DP time stood still. Honestly did. When he kisses me there is literally nothing else that exists but him and it's not only a turn on but incredibly, incredibly loving too.

Don't settle for a bad kisser!! 😂

I. would. run.

I dreamt last night that Greg Davies kissed me and it was a dreadful kiss. I woke up gutted. As a teen I snogged a lad who kissed so hard he made my gums bleed

I think people have different preferences when it comes to kissing. My ex FWB liked to kiss like a praying mantis eating me alive, mouth wide open etc, and 'trained' me to do the same (with him- not going to in future with anyone else.)

Which shows that you can change how someone kisses. You clearly have to spell it out more to him, rather than being subtle with him. Let him know it's important to you and could be a dealbreaker @Bathtubbathing .

Personally kissing is not erotic to me much. Pecking maybe is more appealing to me than french kissing. But I know that most people on here/IRL find it important. I like pecks to show affection but it's not sexual.

I'd try to fix this. If he was rubbish or selfish in bed then no.
But this is fixable imo

I don't know.

How much of a relationship can you really have living so far apart and hardly seeing each other as it is?

Not fixable. Sorry.

I dunno, DH isn’t my best kisser ever but the sex is amazing and we are very happy. If I’d rejected him on the basis of kissing alone that would have been a mistake. I’m not overly bothered about kissing though generally.
Bad sex would be a dealbreaker though.

Do you have any build up to it? Being a bit flirtatious and teasing and holding off until you both really want to?

Sounds like kissing is important to you.

I'm a fine one to talk as the last kiss I had was when we were both talking, drinking and listening to music and I think we both forgot what we were doing for a few seconds then went back to the previous activities! I didn't want a relationship or sex with him so it was nice, but not bodice ripping. Fortunately.

Can't kiss and he's mediocre in bed? NEXT!!!!

What's he like? Does he slobber all over you, like mashing his lips against your face instead of actually kissing?

Oh, fucking hell, all the ins and outs and over-analysis!! you don't vibe on a kiss. It's done, and everything else is just how long you drag it out (teaching, lecturing, prescribing and ICKING)

He's probably even worse at sex; and you already know that if he's a hopeless in bed he won't take on board any hints, suggestions or advice.

Zombie thread! But seeing as it's been resurrected @Bathtubbathing what happened in the end?

He isn’t by any chance called Michael is he? Sounds exactly like him - down to the rubbish kissing!

f) the Lips Firmly Closed and Pursed. Like kissing Granny goodbye, but no pound coin is slipped into your hand.

^

😆

Sounds like you're flogging a dead horse there op

Best kisser I ever snogged was AWFUL in bed. So disappointing. All that anticipation ruined.

My DH isn't the best kisser despite all attempts to "train" him but luckily excellent in all other ways in the sack.

Lots of good advice from other posters.