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Original poster

Harassment - just need to unpack this

62 replies

RelievedItsOver · 26/11/2022 00:00

I've name changed for this but my post may be outing.

I met a guy on OLD in August and we dated for about 2 months. In that time I tried to cool things off as there were too many red flags. He fell for me when he first met me. In early october I told him I didnt want to pursue a relationship, it was all too weird.

Since beginning of october I have been continuously harassed via texts of him. I blocked his number but I can see my blocked messages in my blocked folder on my phone.

Day after day, I was constantly bombarded with messages, nay, essays from this guy about how much he loved me, I've hurt him, then he would go into angry mode and tell me to fuck off even though I was NC with him, only for him to be apologetic and playing on massive guilt trips on me. His moods were up and down like fuck, it was pretty scary.

His mum whom he lives with even messaged me on fb (I dont know her) writing paragraphs after paragraph of how much of a great guy he is and she was hoping we could "sort things out".

Long story short, things escalated on wednesday so I called the police. They've talked to me tonight and given him a caution. Any further contact to me will result in his arrest.

Not sure what I'm posting for but for the first time I nearly two months i feel so fucking relieved. He messaged me at 5.30 today but hasn't since and the police called him at 8pm.

I'm so relieved they took my call seriously and treated it as such. I had doubts and thought they would shrug it off but they have been great. I just need to get this off my chest, I've felt so burdened since early october. Its finally over. I will sleep tonight.

OP posts:
Greenshake · 26/11/2022 00:10

Well done 🙂 pleased to hear you are on the way to being free of him. This is great news 🌷

Original poster
RelievedItsOver · 26/11/2022 00:20

Thanks greenshake.

I know it's weird but I've just read back through the reems of messages I've received from him. I cant believe this was part of my life that came about from meeting a guy and dating him a total of 4 times.

OP posts:
Msgrieves · 26/11/2022 00:30

What a nightmare. I had one a bit like this, thankfully he took the hint in the end, not before he turned up at my house twice, letting himself in (bloody kids leaving door open).

That's scary that you only went on 4 dates, he sounds mega unhinged.

Shgytfgtf111 · 24/01/2023 09:56

What a relief and well done to the police for actually taking it seriously

Dailymailtroll · 24/01/2023 09:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

junebirthdaygirl · 24/01/2023 10:02

My first thought reading down was call the police. So really glad to see you did and they took your seriously. Obviously huge problems but not your concern. If his dm persists do the same. Mind yourself and remember none of this is anything you did.

Original poster
RelievedItsOver · 24/01/2023 10:35

Well the update is I gave a statement to the police in late december as he carried on messaging me. As he lives in another county they have had to pass my statement on to his local constabulary. AFAIK they havent done anything with it as the guy is STILL messaging me. Yes he is blocked but I can still read his messages. I havent replied to any of them. He really ramped it up over christmas. I'm actually bloody annoyed.

OP posts:
Everybodywants · 24/01/2023 10:40

December?! OP you should have been called by the officer on his area to introduce themselves straight away and you should also be getting 7 day updates. Call your local force today to get them to chase, were you sent the crime number for the new force????

Original poster
RelievedItsOver · 24/01/2023 10:44

No. I have a crime ref number for the times I've called my local constabulary and they officer I felt with took a formal statement from me. He sent that over to the weirdo local police and so far havent heard zilch. That was 23rd December I think. I'm still getting texts. Lessened off but still saying he loves me, then calling me a prick and a nut case for breaking things off with him. The last one was yesterday asking me to phone him as he collapsed twice on saturday (apparently).

OP posts:
Original poster
RelievedItsOver · 24/01/2023 10:46

Dealt with*

OP posts:
Everybodywants · 24/01/2023 11:02

Kepp on ignoring him, be strong. It sounds like the crime transfer process hasnt happeneded correctly at all as you shouod have as a minimum your new crime ref for the area the crime falls on.

You can chase this up on 101 to your local force with your existing number and asking your previous (oic) officer in the case to look into why this has not been transferred.

You also need to report the repeated behaviour as he's had words of advice but has ignored this and he's still stalking you.

Original poster
RelievedItsOver · 24/01/2023 11:09

I will chase it. In the time since I last posted his "girlfriend" has been in touch with me sending me abusive messages and threatening me. I dont believe he had a gf and if he did why would she be mad at me when I've never met her and broke things off long before she came on the scene. I think its him with a different sim card in truth. Anyway it's all gone on my statement. I'll have to get back in touch with the police.

OP posts:
Pseudonamed · 24/01/2023 11:09

how can you see messaged from someone you blocked? can you ring your phone company and ask is there anythuing they can do?

taxpayer1 · 24/01/2023 11:11

Change your number and stop reading the messages. It is a little weird that you keep reading the messages.

Always4Brenner · 24/01/2023 11:14

RelievedItsOver · 26/11/2022 00:00

I've name changed for this but my post may be outing.

I met a guy on OLD in August and we dated for about 2 months. In that time I tried to cool things off as there were too many red flags. He fell for me when he first met me. In early october I told him I didnt want to pursue a relationship, it was all too weird.

Since beginning of october I have been continuously harassed via texts of him. I blocked his number but I can see my blocked messages in my blocked folder on my phone.

Day after day, I was constantly bombarded with messages, nay, essays from this guy about how much he loved me, I've hurt him, then he would go into angry mode and tell me to fuck off even though I was NC with him, only for him to be apologetic and playing on massive guilt trips on me. His moods were up and down like fuck, it was pretty scary.

His mum whom he lives with even messaged me on fb (I dont know her) writing paragraphs after paragraph of how much of a great guy he is and she was hoping we could "sort things out".

Long story short, things escalated on wednesday so I called the police. They've talked to me tonight and given him a caution. Any further contact to me will result in his arrest.

Not sure what I'm posting for but for the first time I nearly two months i feel so fucking relieved. He messaged me at 5.30 today but hasn't since and the police called him at 8pm.

I'm so relieved they took my call seriously and treated it as such. I had doubts and thought they would shrug it off but they have been great. I just need to get this off my chest, I've felt so burdened since early october. Its finally over. I will sleep tonight.

Very proud of you well done, no this down right harassment you have done the right thing enjoy the rest of your life.

Hoppinggreen · 24/01/2023 11:14

taxpayer1 · 24/01/2023 11:11

Change your number and stop reading the messages. It is a little weird that you keep reading the messages.

Perhaps she doesn’t want to change her number
Why should she have to?

Original poster
RelievedItsOver · 24/01/2023 11:14

Pseudonamed · 24/01/2023 11:09

how can you see messaged from someone you blocked? can you ring your phone company and ask is there anythuing they can do?

Samsung phones have this feature.

OP posts:
Always4Brenner · 24/01/2023 11:15

Hoppinggreen · 24/01/2023 11:14

Perhaps she doesn’t want to change her number
Why should she have to?

Show quote history

Agreed I’m damned if I’m changing my number for a low life scammer anything from him now blocked reported deleted.

MaggieMagpie357 · 24/01/2023 11:16

Get a different phone or a different number asap so you can put him out of your head. I'm pretty sure if I've blocked someone I can't see their messages on my iPhone.

Original poster
RelievedItsOver · 24/01/2023 11:16

taxpayer1 · 24/01/2023 11:11

Change your number and stop reading the messages. It is a little weird that you keep reading the messages.

I keep tabs on them I case he threatens to show up. I'd rather know than not. And why should I change my number and inconvenience myself cos of this idiot?

OP posts:
Pseudonamed · 24/01/2023 11:19

Why should she change her number instead of the psycho just fucking off. God the things people say on here. Victim always has to be placid.

HedgeWench · 24/01/2023 11:26

Does he know where you live or work op?

Original poster
RelievedItsOver · 24/01/2023 11:34

Yeah he knows where I live. He said he is working up this way in the next month and that he will call by. He has said stuff like this before though and hasn't showed his face so its probably bluster.

OP posts:
Fladdermus · 24/01/2023 12:17

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP. He sounds very, very scary. I hope the police start to take this seriously. I think you'll have to escalate if they don't as it's clear he intends to continue harassing you.

MaggieMagpie357 · 24/01/2023 13:43

@Pseudonamed it has nothing to do with the victim being placid - it's an obvious step to take so she stops receiving 5
his hideous messages!!