Am I expecting too much?

[Birthdayquest]

Five dates with a guy who I fancy soooo much. He earns quite a bit less than me and has higher outgoings so I haven’t been expecting much on dates. We split everything and do coffee or a cocktail. That’s it. I go to his area as it’s nicer than my neighbourhood.

For his bday, I took him to a nice pub and bought him several rounds of drinks. Last weekend he suggested a nice lunch or gallery for my bday this weekend. Earlier today he asked if we were still meeting tomorrow on my bday. I said yes if he wants to. He replied of course. Then he suggested cooking lunch together at his place. I was excited he was making some effort! Then he asked to cook at my place, but my place isn’t available. Then he suggested a walk around a park we have been to before and coffee in cafe Nero. For my birthday. We only have 2 hours together.

I feel like he’s put no effort in. I’m disappointed and want to call it off now.

Am I expecting too much?

I’ve read over our msgs again and I think he may have suggested going out for a coffee because I complained about being stuck indoors and working from home today

then i suggested a walk as well

still he could have planned a fun, free activity for us

re timings, he suggested a time in the afternoon which gives us only two hours before I need to leave

I suspect he is a player and dating lots of women and shagging around with no effort

I am very tempted to cancel tomorrow

To be fair you have trained him to expect you to travel to him all the time and pay for things. He isn't putting in any effort because you haven't set that expectation.

Start as you mean to go on next time.

Spend your birthday doing something fun for yourself not wasting headspace on this random guy!

5 dates in? You are expecting too much from a man you barely know.

There's too many unknowns at this stage to be dissecting the intentions of a man you've known 5 minutes.

Do you know his living arrangements? Does he live at home with parents? Flat share? Is living with a partner? Doesn't actually live where he said he does? Could be any number of reasons why he changed plans. Could be a hoarder, has no money to buy food, hadn't cleaned where he lives?

5 dates in not sure I'd be going to his to 'cook together'. Seems too 'couply".

Has he been to your place? Is he a potential Cockloger? Is the difference in earnings very big? It will get very boring very quickly if can never afford to do anything unless it means you paying for it.

5 dates in and everything should be exciting, even just a walk and a coffee. 5 dates in and you are questions his efforts/whether you really want to see him - nah something is telling you he's not the one for you.

I was excited he was making some effort!
i actually think your expectations are very, very low. Bin him off.

I say give him a chance today .. see how it goes and if you're underwhelmed you'll have your answer. Happy birthday