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Relationships

DH following naked women on Twitter half his age

70 replies

RainbowsMoonbeams · 23/11/2022 08:42

Had a bit of a shock this morning. Something struck me about the way my DH is so secretive with his phone, and I decided to look on his Twitter account. I used to be on there, but closed my account a few years ago.

He follows loads of accounts with young women aged 21-26. He is 47 (I am 36). They all have their boobs out in their photos , some are exposing even more/ fully naked. I am devastated - he is old enough to be their dad and we have a 17 year old and 11 year old daughters. I feel creeped out he has been seeking out these young womens profiles to follow. Many say they are at uni and have only fans accounts too (though he swears he has not been on there)

There is the odd attractive woman he is following who is fully clothed too - nothing in common with them, which makes me wonder what his motives are, though he swears he hasn’t sent any DMs

I just feel so ugly - I am 39 weeks pregnant with our unplanned (but much wanted) baby.

Is this my hormones? Or am I right to be upset?

OP posts:
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EmbarrassedNameChangeDontJudge · 23/11/2022 08:52

If you two have a 17 y/o together, that has to mean you were 19 (or younger) when to his 30.
This is the shocking part, if correct, in your post.

Sounds like he has a type.
Some of the men like them young…

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Kanaloa · 23/11/2022 08:56

I mean you already don’t trust him. It wouldn’t occur to me to check my DH phone, or to suspect he’d been in Only Fans. Has he cheated in the past?

It’s gross and would turn me right off him.

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RainbowsMoonbeams · 23/11/2022 09:22

My eldest is DHs stepdaughter. We met when I was 24 and he was 35 and he adopted her and has been a great father. Should have been more clear, sorry. My head is a mess. Only slept 2 hours.

I didn’t go through his phone, but I checked his Twitter account via my phone. Last night he was on his phone and quickly pressed the home button when I walked in the room. Something bothered me about this and I decided to check his Twitter as he frequently mentions things he has read on there.

Just looked again and some girls are 19 years old. I just feel sick.

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EmbarrassedNameChangeDontJudge · 23/11/2022 09:34

Okey, thanks for clearing that up.

Honestly, and believe me I’m sorry to say this: but it does seem that a lot of men follow these kind of women/accounts.
Doesn’t make it right and doesn’t lessen your worry.

Have you had talk about porn / are you oney with that?
Is it just the social media following that upset you?

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Newusernameaug · 23/11/2022 09:40

That would give me the ick too - and whilst it doesn’t sounds serious enough to LTB over….. I do t think I could ever get over the ick and not see him as a creepy old man

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Badger1970 · 23/11/2022 09:48

DH was doing this on FB, only he's a bit simple with technology and didn't realise that all of our family/mutual friends were getting notifications about the pages he was liking. These women were younger than our DD's ...

We very nearly split over it.

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ChickpeaPie · 23/11/2022 09:51

It’s the hormones. Can’t say it would bother me too much

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Aikko · 23/11/2022 09:58

"which makes me wonder what his motives are, though he swears he hasn’t sent any DMs"

I'd imagine he's using Twitter as his wank bank and masturbating to the photos.

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Kanaloa · 23/11/2022 10:37

ChickpeaPie · 23/11/2022 09:51

It’s the hormones. Can’t say it would bother me too much

The ‘hormones?’ Which hormones force a man to follow several young women and some teenagers barely older than his stepdaughter on social media?

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ChickpeaPie · 23/11/2022 10:46

Kanaloa · 23/11/2022 10:37

The ‘hormones?’ Which hormones force a man to follow several young women and some teenagers barely older than his stepdaughter on social media?

OP asked if it was her pregnancy hormones making her feel the way she did, and as she is feeling unattractive at the moment. I would have felt the same when I was pregnant

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LemonDrop22 · 23/11/2022 10:51

Yeah, it's not pregnancy hormones.

FFS.

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notstoppingnow · 23/11/2022 10:52

He sounds like a dirty old creep. I agree with the pp who said that some men like them young. That's just what turns them on and that isn't the sort of man that will provide a mature and loving relationship as his partner gets older.

You are justified in feeling upset @RainbowsMoonbeams and I think you need him to be honest with you. If he is one of those men who don't find women attractive as they get older, then he must tell you now. You are entitled to be with an emotionally mature man rather than some emotionally retarded ageing idiot who looks at young women's bodies on social media.

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CookPassBabtridge · 23/11/2022 11:31

Badger1970 · 23/11/2022 09:48

DH was doing this on FB, only he's a bit simple with technology and didn't realise that all of our family/mutual friends were getting notifications about the pages he was liking. These women were younger than our DD's ...

We very nearly split over it.

So how did you resolve it?
It's fucking grim and I wouldn't be able to stay with someone like this. They'll also be the type to watch young porn, have a wandering eye, lusting over your daughters friends 🤢

I have a good tip for if you want to check out who he's slavering over on facebook OP

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CookPassBabtridge · 23/11/2022 11:32

ChickpeaPie · 23/11/2022 09:51

It’s the hormones. Can’t say it would bother me too much

It really isn't the hormones.

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Kanaloa · 23/11/2022 11:34

ChickpeaPie · 23/11/2022 10:46

OP asked if it was her pregnancy hormones making her feel the way she did, and as she is feeling unattractive at the moment. I would have felt the same when I was pregnant

Oh, okay, it’s op’s hormones. But then I don’t think her hormones are making her feel upset about her husband searching out naked teens on social media. That’s just her brain.

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ChickpeaPie · 23/11/2022 11:40

she didn’t say he was searching for naked teens, she said they are adults. If they were teens of course it would be different

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monsteramunch · 23/11/2022 13:52

ChickpeaPie · 23/11/2022 11:40

she didn’t say he was searching for naked teens, she said they are adults. If they were teens of course it would be different

18 and 19 year olds are adults but still teens. So some of the people he's searching for and following are teens.

I wouldn't want to be with him personally.

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newromandollar · 23/11/2022 15:51

ChickpeaPie · 23/11/2022 11:40

she didn’t say he was searching for naked teens, she said they are adults. If they were teens of course it would be different

Why different? Is a 19 year old a teen? What's the cut-off?
IMO looking at attractive bodies is entirely normal but if it's developed into a habit for him such that he quickly closes it like he's ashamed, then that's a problem. Especially if he looks exclusively at young women.

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Rustyhandlebars · 23/11/2022 16:01

CookPassBabtridge · 23/11/2022 11:31

So how did you resolve it?
It's fucking grim and I wouldn't be able to stay with someone like this. They'll also be the type to watch young porn, have a wandering eye, lusting over your daughters friends 🤢

I have a good tip for if you want to check out who he's slavering over on facebook OP

Can you share your good tip please?

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Kanaloa · 23/11/2022 21:25

ChickpeaPie · 23/11/2022 11:40

she didn’t say he was searching for naked teens, she said they are adults. If they were teens of course it would be different

NineTEEN is a teenager. The clue is that the word ends in ‘teen.’ So it is ‘different.’ Although in my opinion slavering over someone who is ‘just legal’ is just as bad. It’s equally grotesque.

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CookPassBabtridge · 23/11/2022 22:08

Lusting over and being a sleaze with women in their 20s when you're a decade+ is gross too.

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CookPassBabtridge · 23/11/2022 22:13

@Rustyhandlebars

You search for the persons name, but instead of clicking their profile you leave it on the results page (where all the people with that name are listed).
Then click 'photos' from the options along the top.
Then 'see all from friends' and you can see what they have liked.. if you sort by date posted it shows you even more.

It only shows public photos but you can see enough from this.

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RainbowsMoonbeams · 24/11/2022 05:38

He claims he didn’t realise their ages, which is such a pathetic lie. It’s in their profiles and you can just tell by looking at them that they are young. I am so grossed out by him. He know my views (and always has) on porn and the objectifying of women.

I looked at the accounts in detail yesterday and just felt sick. All young women with huge fake breasts, fully naked. So creepy, but he won’t have it he is being a pervy creep. He did cry and close his account, but funny how he is only sorry now I found out.

I can’t help but wonder if the fully clothed attractive women he followed was because he had intentions of DMing or trying to initiate something. They don’t share any interests, he just clearly was scouting for attractive women too.

The idea of him being at the birth, seeing me at my most vulnerable repulses me right now.😢

He repulses me.

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Anothernick · 24/11/2022 08:17

So there is clear proof that he looked at images of naked women and followed some of them on twitter. I agree that following individuals is a bit creepy but it really isn't unusual for a man to look at images of naked women, this is not an automatic indication that he is unhappy with his DP or seeking to cheat. (I am a man BTW).

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Roundbasket · 24/11/2022 08:26

Anothernick · 24/11/2022 08:17

So there is clear proof that he looked at images of naked women and followed some of them on twitter. I agree that following individuals is a bit creepy but it really isn't unusual for a man to look at images of naked women, this is not an automatic indication that he is unhappy with his DP or seeking to cheat. (I am a man BTW).

So you see no issue with a much older man looking at naked young women enough to be their daughters or granddaughters ?
and if they are , you don’t think they would be looking at and having those same thoughts about their daughters friends?

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