Hi guys,
Just looking for some general advice and reassurance that I'm not being OTT.
So me and my partner have been together 4 years, we have 2 young children together.
Before we had our kids, he used to be out most weekends, but did settle down briefly whilst my eldest was a baby. He then started going out again which I didn't mind every now and then, but then he would start using our little arguments as an excuse to just get up and go out and leave me and the kids for the night and not return home until the next day without a message or call to let me know what the hell he's been playing at.
He has done this probably more than 10 times in the last 12 months, sometimes he'd just pretended he was going to his van to get something then driving to the pub and going on a full blown night out or "popping to the shop". He's also, when doing this, spending money we don't have to spare at this moment in time.
One time I had enough, so I got my kids in the car and followed him, but he then made me look like a total nutter in front of his family making out I never let him go out (which isn't true either) However, now they are seeing the flip side and realising it isn't me and that he does it off his own back without us even arguing now.
He did stop for a while, but has just started doing it again recently. Every time he does it the next day he grovels and apologises to me, and promises he won't do it again, but then he does.
For instance, 2 weekends ago he went out after he was supposed to come home after 2 pints and the pub. I'd been at work all day, already felt unwell and still hadnt eaten and he said he was going to bring us food home, he didn't return home until 1030am the next day. His family after this realised it isn't my fault when he does this, and that maybe he has a binge drinking problem.
And tonight after the footballs been on he hasn't returned home, he's been out since 1pm and he was supposed to be home at 4.
I just am at my wits end, so I've ended things once and for all
He never used to drink much through the week either when we first got together, but now he seems to always be having cans of beer on a night, sometimes the odd one, other times it's a lot. And I can always tell or get a feeling when he's going to do his "disappearing act" I call it, when he will go out, as he usually seems half cut before he leaves.
Sorry for the long winded post, I just want to know what everyone else's opinion is. I've tried to explain it the best I can, I've not mentioned every detailed time he's gone and what's triggered it but sometimes we don't even need to of bickered for him to do this!
Also to add, when he does do this, I get 0 responses to calls and texts. So I'd never actually know where he is or who he's with. But I've never caught him cheating so I generally don't think he would be or is doing anything of that sort.
So do you think I'm being over the top by leaving the relationship now? Or am I doing the right thing.
Thank you for any advice