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Relationships

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He says not definite, but he feels a bit old to have another baby

81 replies

anotherdatingquestion · 21/11/2022 14:01

I have entered into a very new relationship with a man who wants to find his life partner and settle down. I really like him. I haven't felt this way in over a decade. He has a son from a previous relationship and has said he hasn't made a definite decision about having another baby, but he feels he may be too old (he isn't). I want a baby. Shall I move on now?

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 22/11/2022 09:25

To be fair, it’s not for you to decide whether he’s too old. If he feels he is, you have to accept that.
Not a good idea to enter into a relationship based on trying to persuade someone to change their mind about something so important to you.

Bedazzled22 · 22/11/2022 09:26

I think if you really want children, it would be better to move on. It’s quite unlikely by the sounds of it that he would want to have a baby when he has a teenager.

RandomMusings7 · 22/11/2022 09:31

anotherdatingquestion · 21/11/2022 17:04

He’s late 30s. Has a teenager.

He went through fertility treatment with his last ex, she was infertile.

It’s very early days so I don’t feel comfortable even discussing this at length with him.

If he's late 30s and you're just starting the relationship, he will be 40 by the time you are established enough as a couple for actual baby making

And

Not many parents of teenagers want to do it all over again. The nappy days are long behind him. He's probably dealing with teenage angst and drama now. Why upheave is life again He's? He's been there, done that, got the t-shirt...

Chances are he's just saying what he needs to say to placate you but sti retain plausible deniability when he changes his mind a few years down the road.

paintitallover · 22/11/2022 09:34

Move on. He doesn't want a child and you do.

Billslills · 22/11/2022 09:49

How old are you?

KettrickenSmiled · 22/11/2022 09:56

but he feels he may be too old (he isn't)

This relationship is doomed.
Not just because you both want different things.
But because you feel entitled to tell him his reasoning is wrong & over-ride his feelings.

HE feels too old to have another child.
YOU don't get to steamroller that.

Find a man who definitely want children, if that is your main relationship driver.
Don't presume to dictate to this one.

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