AIBU to not like staying at new boyfriends because he smokes indoors/in his bedroom?

[Smokey87]

Relatively new boyfriend of 4 months. He smokes in some of the rooms of his house and has his last smoke of the day lying in bed.
I don’t smoke at all. While I understand it’s his house, he wants me to stay over, I don’t really like to sleep in a bed that smells of smoke, he says he can’t smell it. I’ve said it smells of smoke and he said he would wash them the next day which I’m sure he did but then smoked again that night.
would I be unreasonable to ask him not to smoke in his room if he wants me to stay over? I guess the only option is not to stay if I don’t like it but I know he wants me there.

Ugh. Couldn't put up with that at all. If he's doing it regularly then the smell will be next to impossible to get out. Never mind passive smoking risks for you! I'd call it a day.

Dump him, smoking is gross, kills you and stinks. Also very addictive so he will struggle to give up and it doesn’t sound like she wants to. I wouldn’t date a smoker.

Do you want a relationship with a smoker? I wouldn’t (did briefly and the smell was awful.) I think if it’s his house you can’t tell him where he can and can’t smoke but definitely tell him you don’t want to stay over. I don’t see how you can make it work tbh.

I swipe left on smokers without even looking at their profile. I don’t think you’re compatible with each other.

It makes your clothes & hair smell and is a turn off when kissing him as his breath stinks

Tell him that

Not unreasonable at all. I think I would be saying I’ll come over if her smokes outside only, let alone the bedroom.

Ew no that's grim

Does he smoke when he stays at yours?

I should add he doesn’t smoke in bed with I’m there and actually smokes very little around me. At my house he doesn’t have a nighttime smoke

Smoking full stop would be a no from me but most smokers do realise the smell is very off-putting to non-smokers. I’d cut your losses now as he clearly doesn’t care about your feelings.

I don't understand why you'd date a smoker. Expensive dirty habit.

And smoking in bed, a good way to burn his place down with himself in it.

Very true but made me laugh… thank you, needed that

Don't forget, he's still on his best behaviour, still trying to impress you.
What's it going to be like when he relaxes, wants to start smoking at yours ("you don't mind when I smoke at mine, what's the difference?") etc.
I'd bin him now
(actually, like PPs, I'd have never started seeing a smoker at all. Did it once when I was younger, never again !)

I'd say this.

Smoking makes everything reek. Yuck.

Turn it around...
If you had a guest who didn't like second hand smoke, you'd likely try to make adjustments, especially if you cared for them.

Perhaps he doesn't care enough...

Grim. I wouldn't even be with him, let alone stay over!

Why are you even dating a smoker?

Smoking in bed, there's not many things that repulse me more

That is absolutely disgusting

Ugh yuk....absolute deal breaker - this would give me the serious ick

You took the words right out of my mouth.
OP, only you know what you can put up with but I can tell you right now that I would run a fast mile from a man who didn’t even brush his teeth after his last fag of the day. How utterly foul.

I am an ex smoker, you never understand how disgusting it smells while you smoke. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect him not to smoke in the bedroom, if he doesn’t then I wouldn’t stay again.

That's vile. I'm a smoker but I never smoke in my house because it makes everything stink and nicotine stained. It would be a deal breaker for me.

I've tried to have two relationships and one house share with smokers.

They all failed.

Smokers and non smokers are not really compatible.

Even the smokers who smoke outside. And this guy doesn't even do that.

It's always a battle. They say they'll do ABC. They never do, or rather never do it permanently. It's futile.

I know you don't want to hear it but you're not compatible. It's fundamental.

I should clarify, by battle, I don't even mean an outright shouty thing or argument, just resentment and irritation etc on both sides that really affects the relationship.

Could never be in a relationship with a smoker. He must constantly stink. Even if he’s not smoking in the house whilst you’re there it will stink, getting into a bed that’s been smoked in would make me sick.