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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sex scenes/nudity In movies.

82 replies

BabyBx · 09/11/2022 11:01

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice please, to cut a long story short basically I'm feeling really uncomfortable watching sex scenes in movies with my partner. It's becoming a big deal because my partner says I need to stop feeling like this and that it's childish that we can't watch sex together in movies or nudity, he says all his past girlfriends haven't had a problem with it, and all his mates talk about series such as game of thrones etc and he wants to watch them with me. We put on game of thrones a while ago and it got to the point I started crying because I felt so upset and uncomfortable that he is watching naked woman on the screen. I've confided in him and told him how I feel about it and he says I need to snap out of it, but in all honesty I'm finding it so hard. I feel like crying typing this because I don't feel like I'm good enough for him 😔 just because I don't feel like other woman towards this subject, I don't know if any other girl out there feels like me. I feel so alone in this feeling, I said I would try my best to put my feelings aside to make him happy and we can watch a series - last night we watched some episodes of ' the Americans ' where it features sex scenes and a rape scene. I felt Really uncomfortable again and like I wanted to cry but I kept this feeling to myself again. Now I'm thinking later he is going to put it on again and I will feel like this again - I feel so sad it's hard to explain 😞 I know I'm going to just have to sit and watch it even though its hurting me emotionally knowing he's watching other females moan and be naked. I probably sound insane, but I honestly feel so sad about it all 😔 I asked if we could skip it abit if a sexscene came on but he doesn't want to do that either. He makes me feel so bad for this genuine feeling of sadness and that's what hurts. Do I need to see a doctor? How can I be the person he wants me to be? 😔

OP posts:
changefromhr · 04/02/2024 07:47

People have no decorum or sense of shame anymore.

ingenvillvetavardukoptdintroja · 04/02/2024 08:00

Does he watch anything else or only stuff like this?
I don't think my partner realises how much nudity and sexual violence is in the stuff he watches, I hate it and can't watch it.
But he also watches stuff without it that we can both enjoy.
Your boundary is fine, bit worrying if your partner can enjoy tv without boobs or rape scenes.

Jf20 · 04/02/2024 08:02

ingenvillvetavardukoptdintroja · 04/02/2024 08:00

Does he watch anything else or only stuff like this?
I don't think my partner realises how much nudity and sexual violence is in the stuff he watches, I hate it and can't watch it.
But he also watches stuff without it that we can both enjoy.
Your boundary is fine, bit worrying if your partner can enjoy tv without boobs or rape scenes.

Oh cmon. She never said he can’t enjoy tv unless he sees boobs and rape scenes. Why would you write that?

Dazedandfrazzled · 04/02/2024 08:15

changefromhr · 04/02/2024 07:45

Watching other people naked and having sex is not normal. Just because people have been brainwashed into believing it should be enjoyable does not make the OP wrong or insecure or "insane"
You need to LTB if he makes you feel shit OP.

Yes but also bearing in mind that 98% of anything will have a naked or near naked woman in it. Pretty much wvety good movie or series fits in this category

Shadowsindarkplaces · 04/02/2024 08:23

I'm the same OP, but I don't get upset, I turn it off. Fortunately, DH finds it cringy, too. We have been together 37 years!
I find "suggested" far more erotic. If a filmmaker needs to show graphic sex it shows lack of talent.

Limenlemon · 04/02/2024 12:35

I often feel like this too. It's a very difficult feeling to deal with and unless you suffer from low self esteem, it can be difficult for others to understand.

But it's not the fault of the TV show or the woman or the act.

For me it's that my DH never shows much, if any, attraction towards me, he doesn't make me feel sexy or whatever. If I am naked he doesn't bat an eyelid. My confidence is so low that yes, I get a bit grumpy when someone blonde with bit knockers comes on the tele. There's always a deeper root to this things though.

If he gave me half the attention/ attraction feeling I crave it would likely go over my head a lot more.

If you're not married and no other commitments, it might be worth considering working on your own self esteem and find someone that makes you feel so amazing that these things bother you less and less.

I think I'm passed the point of no return, post partum body isn't going to help things. So I'll keep popping off to the loo or to put the kettle on when these things come on the TV.

Jf20 · 04/02/2024 13:21

Dazedandfrazzled · 04/02/2024 08:15

Yes but also bearing in mind that 98% of anything will have a naked or near naked woman in it. Pretty much wvety good movie or series fits in this category

That’s far from true, it maybe 98 percent of what you watch, but it is far from 98 percent of all movies or series. Although I note you say good movie or tv series, so I guess it depends on your definition of good.

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