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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband hit me

53 replies

Noogsmagpie · 06/11/2022 15:50

We haven’t got on for a while. He is quite controlling and criticises everything I do. I try to avoid interacting with him most of the time to avoid arguments. He had a go at me for not immediately washing my hands earlier today after sorting my son out in the toilet. I was waiting for my son to wash his hands. I said to my husband please don’t tell me what to do I’m just waiting for the sink to be free and then will wash my hands. He then continued to have a go at me. So once I washed my hands I flicked the excess water from my hand at him. It was from a distance and barely touched him. He jumped from the stairs and hit me hard on the back. I understand that it was probably annoying to get water on him but I’ve got to a point where I can’t continue to listen to him having a go at me about everything. He has tried to hit me before a few years ago, he missed and I hit my head on a wall trying to dodge his fist, anyway we went to therapy for a few weeks until he quit. I’m not sure what to do next.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 06/11/2022 15:52

Divorce. Your marriage is dead.

WanderingSouls · 06/11/2022 15:53

This is awful, do you have somewhere safe you and DC can go? Eg. A friend of family. Then speak to Women’s Aid for some advice.

HappyHamsters · 06/11/2022 15:53

Contact womens aid and make plans to leave him

gamerchick · 06/11/2022 15:54

There's no going back when they hit you.

Ring the police and get him lifted. You have kids to think about as well as yourself

GrumpyPanda · 06/11/2022 15:56

Police. Sounds like you need to get this on record.

IShelveBooks · 06/11/2022 15:57

Did your child witness this too? Please get out of this relationship.

gamerchick · 06/11/2022 15:59

You definitely need this on record when they start with the custody crap they all do OP.

CatLick · 06/11/2022 16:01

This happened to me too. Marriage now over. Flicking water at him was a bit unnecessary but it's definitely not a provocation. He ll keep doing it and keep blaming you when it happens.

WallaceinAnderland · 06/11/2022 16:05

Stay and continue to suffer?

Dogtooth · 06/11/2022 16:07

Nobody's going to tell you to stay with a man you avoid interacting with and who has hit/tried to hit you twice. It won't get better. It might get a lot worse.

If you're thinking of staying for your son's sake, he's better off not witnessing this, even if it means a smaller house etc.

Make plans to leave and give yourself and your son a better life.

Butterbean9 · 06/11/2022 16:43

Leave him.
He has been violent and it will only escalate, there's no going back from this.

Can you ask him to leave? If not, is there somewhere safe you can go with your son?

Brigante9 · 06/11/2022 17:24

What’s the housing situation?

Bananalanacake · 06/11/2022 17:48

Is your son his. Who owns your property.

ThingsIhavelearnt · 06/11/2022 17:49

GrumpyPanda · 06/11/2022 15:56

Police. Sounds like you need to get this on record.

Police although I wouldn’t admit to flicking water

BricksHome · 06/11/2022 17:49

Leave. It will only get worse from this point

cushioncovers · 06/11/2022 17:51

Your marriage is over I'm afraid. Start making plans to get divorced.

ThingsIhavelearnt · 06/11/2022 17:53

ThingsIhavelearnt · 06/11/2022 17:49

Police although I wouldn’t admit to flicking water

sorry I meant police although I WOULD admit to flicking water

** you need to be really clear with them - did you flick it at him? If you are frightened of him why did you do it? What is Just instinct?

I would tell the police what happened in step by step account and don’t minimise kg by saying ** you just flicked water

Leomii81 · 06/11/2022 18:14

What will it be next? Has he apologised? Either way you don't need to put up with that vile behaviour. You should make plans to LTB. No excuse for violence

theremustonlybeone · 06/11/2022 18:16

leave...its not a healthy or loving relationship and not one kids should grow up in

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 06/11/2022 18:18

Ring the police
thrn ring womens aid

Onefootinthegroove · 06/11/2022 18:19

Leave. He WILL do it again.
Police.
Get your child away from him.
Been there my love, started as a slap around the face, ended up with a push down the stairs, broken nose and ribs.

Artygirlghost · 06/11/2022 18:22

Call the police. Tell them what happened and that you are worried for your safety and that of your children.

Tell them you want to press charges and for your partner to leave the house.

Then ring Woman's Aid and start the procedure to divorce him. The fact there is a record of domestic violence with the police is important.

He will hit you again and you are not safe with someone like that and this is not the environment you want your kids to grow up in.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 06/11/2022 18:40

Leave with your DC now
Do not risk this escalating
I'd report to police from a place of safety( family, friend)

BecauseICan22 · 06/11/2022 18:42

What is your next step?

You know what you need to do but what are you actually going to do?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 06/11/2022 18:45

Was this in front of your child? If so I hope either you or DH has left the home by now. Your marriage is toxic, dead and damaging for your DC.

Csn you stay somewhere else tonight, ask him to leave or call the police?