Husband hit me

[Noogsmagpie]

We haven’t got on for a while. He is quite controlling and criticises everything I do. I try to avoid interacting with him most of the time to avoid arguments. He had a go at me for not immediately washing my hands earlier today after sorting my son out in the toilet. I was waiting for my son to wash his hands. I said to my husband please don’t tell me what to do I’m just waiting for the sink to be free and then will wash my hands. He then continued to have a go at me. So once I washed my hands I flicked the excess water from my hand at him. It was from a distance and barely touched him. He jumped from the stairs and hit me hard on the back. I understand that it was probably annoying to get water on him but I’ve got to a point where I can’t continue to listen to him having a go at me about everything. He has tried to hit me before a few years ago, he missed and I hit my head on a wall trying to dodge his fist, anyway we went to therapy for a few weeks until he quit. I’m not sure what to do next.

My ex has since emailed me to say he is stopping all payments to the house including the mortgage. He said he can’t afford to pay for a house he can’t visit his son at. So I have had to start paying for a solicitor who specialises in this sort of mess. Children’s services have been over to meet my son and I. I have also had some phone support from a local domestic abuse organisation. I took 2 weeks off work and I’m slowly gathering all the paperwork for divorce. My ex took all the finance paperwork with him when he left. When I’ve asked for items he has refused to let me have anything.

Ha ha ha he has shot himself in the foot with the email saying he is unilaterally discarding his obligation to pay 50% of the mortgage. (And bills! - refusing to pay toward his son's need for basic utilities is NOT a good look ..) If your solicitor is any good, they will make hay with that one. Plus the clear blackmail attempt with his revolting "pay per view" attitude to his child. His behaviour to you was criminal, it is logged with the cops, enough to keep him out of the family home & supervised visits only for now - yet he told you, in writing, that he is happy to jeopardise the roof over his child's head in order to coerce you into letting him enter the marital home. That will NOT play well for him if he is foolish enough to push it through family court.

Do you also have his refusal to share financial documentation with you in writing?

It’s been hard, where I live is a small village away from all family and friends.
Given that the mortgage payments are under threat, are you considering selling up? If so, would a move back toward family & friends be a good bet? How would that pan out in terms of DS's school, his own friendship groups etc? How long have you been 'away' for - a short enough time for DS to also have roots back in your home town? Apologies if you've covered this, the thread goes back a way now! I am thinking of YOUR need for real life support.

He has sent me text messages and emails about stopping all payments for the house. He knows I can’t afford everything on my part time wage so it’s just a way to make everything difficult for me. His actions show he clearly doesn’t really care about his son’s welfare. I’m not sure what will happen if I can’t pay the whole mortgage plus all the bills, but will speak to the company tomorrow. I have to set up new accounts for all other services. I paid for a solicitor so hopefully that will help, but it could take some time to sort out. My family live on the other side of the country. I’d have to leave my job and his school. I came back to the house as it feels like my job is my only independence. I could look for new work nearer to my family. It would definitely be good to have more support. Thank you for all your help.

@Noogsmagpie hope things are going well, and you've settled into things, and that he has calmed down a bit. 💐