Hi everyone, thank you for all the supportive messages. Just thought I’d update. I initially left with my son and stayed with family. A week later I asked him to leave our house so myself and son could go back to some sort of normality - school/work, using the report to the police to see if he would leave. He left and so far hasn’t tried to return. I’ve found it strange in the house now there’s no abuse. Just doing normal domestic things without someone standing over me, shouting, criticising and hitting has been amazing. However I’ve realised I’m a shadow of myself, have been having panic attacks, no sleep and will need a lot of time to rebuild. I’m still getting texts and often they are angry messages about contact with our son. He has seen him every week with someone else present.
My son is the hardest part as he has been upset and angry saying he misses and is sad about Daddy. I’ve had to navigate minimal contact only, not really wanting to leave my son at all with angry man.
It’s been hard, where I live is a small village away from all family and friends. My ex has since emailed me to say he is stopping all payments to the house including the mortgage. He said he can’t afford to pay for a house he can’t visit his son at. So I have had to start paying for a solicitor who specialises in this sort of mess. Children’s services have been over to meet my son and I. I have also had some phone support from a local domestic abuse organisation. I took 2 weeks off work and I’m slowly gathering all the paperwork for divorce. My ex took all the finance paperwork with him when he left. When I’ve asked for items he has refused to let me have anything.
It’s a lonely process, I feel there should be more centralised support particularly for younger women. My ex is still denying he’s done anything wrong. I went back to work last week and they are being supportive. My next job is to change the locks on the house, I’ve been waiting until pay day to get it done. This will make a big difference to the sense of security.
When I had to see my MIL for the first time she was very aggressive towards me blaming me for destroying the family and my sons life. It was hard to hear, but I understand she is upset and only has his story and will always support him whatever he’s done.
Anyway just wanted to say thank you again. It was helpful to receive such encouragement to get out. I didn’t think I’d ever escape from it all. I stayed for 6 years to protect my son. I now feel like I can’t do that to the same degree any more and only hope and pray that he will be ok when he has to spend time with him as he grows up.