Husband asked me to leave

[mrsjimhopper]

Very sad right now packing a few bits into a carriers.

It's his house so I can't stay. He's holding that over me and He's being really mean. I'm pretty upset. Been a long time coming. I've asked him to be kinder to me as I'm doing what he wants me to do which is leave.

I know I'd deserve better but I don't want to be alone. No children involved - we couldn't have them.

He doesn't know whether he wants to talk to me or not. So I'm Just sat waiting in another room.

Just want a handhold please. I don't knew how I will survive this week.

Your savings go into the “pot” of matrimonial assets, just like his and all pensions etc. this is done in the financial declarations you both have to do legally.
you then sun up the assets you own as one joint point. It is illegal not to declare absolutely everything.
You then split in accordance to rules around “fair settlement “ in matrimonial act of law - referred to earlier poster
usually there’s some bargaining around “ I keep my savings in lieu of x,y,z “ so in practice you mightn’t actually hand over any to him, but it’s all part of the big sum

@BuildersTeaMaker yes I do understand that it is a joint assets pot. I'm meant I hope I won't get less than my savings which is around 7% of the homes value.

What part of getting married from a legal perspective and financial perspective do you not understand? that’s kind of the point of marriage - not a big party

his house stopped being “his” and became a matrimonial asset in law the second he signed the registry document and they legally became married.
sure, she may not get a full 50:50 split if a short marriage - but it will depend on overall financial picture of their combined assets made during their legal full declaration

if you’re going to comment please ensure you understand the legal situation in England/wales ( which were all assuming she in right now). Not sure what Scottish law says- but didn’t think in this case it’s much different,

It does make it the marital home and OP is entitled to a claim on it.

she also doesn’t need to leave

Why do people guess and speculate over the law? If you don't know, don't guess. She's married, so in law is entitled to have a roof over her head. DH can't kick her out. But she knows this.
She won't get 50% of the house value. She will be entitled to a percentage, how much is up to a judge to decide, unless they agree between themselves. Maybe 25% (but I'm guessing!)

In Scotland, assets gained before the marriage aren’t considered part of the marital pot.

as there’s no kids involved, OP wouldn’t be entitled to anything partner had before marriage. ( however, the marital home may be an exception- apologies I’m a bit rusty on this!)

you need legal advice OP, but don’t move out!

Not if he owned it before the marriage.

Just read all your posts - you are actually in quite a good position with regards to a claim on the house/ his assets.

you can show you’ve paid into the renovation for the house. At the very least he needs to pay that back to you.

also what a complete c* he is. Am so sorry you’re going through this

( however, the marital home may be an exception

A pretty big caveat to your entire point, as it's exactly the marital home that's in question

I'm not Scottish but the advice here makes it clear that the rule about assets pre-marriage applies to housing goods & possessions & not the property you live in

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/family/relationship-problems-s/getting-divorced-s/#:~:text=At%20the%20end%20of%20your,rights%20to%20live%20in%20it.

It doesn't automatically become joint property but if they are married it doesn't matter which party owns the house, it will still be classed as marital property.

OP, you don't have to leave even if your H owns the house. You have matrimonial home rights because you are married to him. He can't force you to leave without a court order.

My husband did this, but we owned the house jointly.
He phoned & said he wanted a divorce.
I got a solicitor.
He wouldn’t settle.
We were in court for ages.
He took the car, I took everything else because the car was worth a fortune.
In the end, he was forced to pay my solicitor’s bill which was £80,000 - because he wouldn’t settle.

Turns out he got a 17-year-old pregnant.
He was 46. Ick.

Interestingly he said he wouldn't got to court

@MyMumSaysALot

That's so so very grim. I do hope that was after you separated.

I'd like to say he wouldn't do this but I think the trust has gone.

It doesn't matter what he says! If he isn't prepared to reach a fair settlement, you need to go to court.

Take this time to get yourself lined up OP and sorted so you can leave.

It makes no sense to go PT to help run a home he sees as only his. So if possible, get yourself back to your full earning potential. See a solicitor to understand what you are entitled to and get a plan in place.

Chin up, you have options here and can take control. Sorry he sounds so callous.

I am not entitled to half the house.

You are if you’re married. Make sure you get it.

You don’t really know anyone till it comes down to money ! That’s when threats and true colours show

Blossomtoes that is not true. Op go and seek legal advice

Ok, it’s surprising how much Scottish and English law differs in family law😱. I always though Scottish law was historically more generous to wives and children - I know there are mandatory provisions in case of intestate

@mrsjimhopper
I'm so sorry to read this how awful 😞
If he's like that your best off without him really
It's hard but you'll come out of this stronger xx

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/how-to-separate1/getting-a-divorce-or-dissolution/

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/sorting-out-money/dividing-up-money-and-belongings-when-you-separate/

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/sorting-out-money/financial-support-when-you-separate/

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/sorting-out-money/help-with-legal-fees-when-you-separate/

@mrsjimhopper

It turned out it was the reason he wanted a divorce.
But I didn’t find out until the very bitter end.

Gosh, hugs OP

Sounds like he's walking all over you (I mean that in the kindest way possible, I just can't think of better wording) and while I know you must be devastated, you need to try and find the strength to stand up for yourself.

Seek legal advise asap and do what's best for you.

This is correct.

Also, my ex acted the same as yours- he became a stranger and it was because there was another woman, so don’t assume there’s not one on the scene.

I'd put money on it.

Very few men end a marriage/long-term relationship unless they have someone else lined up to ensure their comfort.

Look after yourself OP - and never feel ashamed or think you've failed. You've had good advice - stick to your guns.