Girlfriend moving in

[Spanky123]

Hi all,
Am thinking of asking my girlfriend to move in. I own a house in my name with a mortgage and have been thinking about options. How fair would £400/500 per month sound with half of that going into a joint savings for us to use towards holidays and fun things. The other half would help give me more of a cushion in terms of covering the mortgage and bills?
Am thinking this is the best way for us both to benefit from this situation?
Thanks!

Ask her for her share of bills only unless you're going to put her on the deeds.

She's not a child, she doesn't need you to save for her.

What's she currently paying in rent? Does she actually want to move in and help you pay your mortgage?

How fair would £400/500 per month sound with half of that going into a joint savings for us to use towards holidays and fun things.

It sounds ridiculous.

She can pay her fair share of bills etc or stay where she is. Fuck that.

Hard to say without knowing how much your outgoings are. When I moved in with my bf (now hubs) he owned the house. Mortgage was around 400 and bills around the same. I paid him 400 a month to cover the bills and he covered the mortgage. This felt fair to me as it was his house and I saw it as just paying rent to him.

So do you think he should meet her housing needs? Why shouldn’t she pay towards her accommodation?

If someone suggested taking money off me for joint savings I'd think they were infantilising me. I can save that myself. What you charge outside if share if bills depends on circumstances- does she still have her own mortgage to pay?

She already is! But if she's going to help him buy a house while having nothing to show for it herself then that's rather unfair don't you think?

My partner lives in the house I own. My mortgage is £500pm and bills/food £800pm. He pays £800pm, £400 rent (half the bills/food) and £400 is savings for us both. If we were to ever break up I would keep the house, he would take the savings.

Why are we all assuming OP is male?

The house would go up in value a lot more than the savings though.

Seems like he's paying a lot to live there but if you're both happy then hey ho.

Asking her to contribute to living costs is very sensible. That bit about joint savings that I assume you only have access to and only you who decides how and when it is spent, sounds controlling and not the generous benevolent gesture you think it does.

Make it clear that she is contributing to her living costs (rent, bills etc) and not the mortgage. She won’t be a tenant and the rent you charge should take the insecurity of the living arrangements into account. If you break up, she will be the one who moves out, not you.

@pinkyredrose yeah it's not ideal, we are trying to use his savings part to buy a joint house. There's never a perfect solution when one person already owns and we have children together so he does need to pay an equal amount + he earns more than me so it kind of works out. We are both very aware that the house will increase in value but at least he wouldn't walk away with nothing if we broke up and would have something to put down on his own place. Hopefully we won't break up though and once we're married I think we would have a stake in the property anyway!

If you are solely named on the mortgage the person moving in should not contribute towards your mortgage.

Would urge you to get a cohabitation agreement drawn up with a Solicitor so if it all does go south you can use this.

Split bills yes, but not mortgage and make this clear. If something were to happen, you don’t want the other person to have a stake in the house. It won’t make any difference to you as you’re already paying the mortgage.

I don’t think it’s fair that she pays nothing towards her accommodation costs.

What's the alternative though. She'd be paying towards his mortgage ie. helping him buy a house in his name.

She contribute an amount as rent, and he does with that whatever he wishes to- he might save it, spend it, pay it off his mortgage, whatever.

She should not suddenly be absolved of the costs of housing herself because she’s moving in with him.

If a woman posted here that her bf was suggesting moving in and not paying anything towards housing as he wouldn’t be on the mortgage, there would be howls of ‘cocklodger’ before long.

Why don't you talk to each other about what is fair? I don't think you need to do joint savings. Bear in mind market rates of rent.

I suggest a cohabitation agreement or "no nup" talk to a lawyer and she do the same. You have an asset and she doesn't. It maybe that you don't have much equity but we don't know that. Make sure you protect yourself and don't either of you profit at the expense of the other.

Absolutely this ^^, she might pay a bit less than her current rent, but definitely not rent free !

Nope. I’ve read exactly the same on here. Do not let a man pay towards your mortgage as they’ll have a stake of your property. I see it all the time. It’s good advice, my friends of both sexes have been in that position and either ended up saving for a btl property for themselves, or they save and then partner sells and they but together. It’s very sound advice.

Are you really a man when you charge your partner rent? Surely you should be thinking about improving her life not about how it’s “beneficial” to you financially.

Heard it all before, poor woman going for the 50/50 deal and then ends up doing all the cooking and house chores at night whilst the man reaps the financial and living benefits of having a woman around.

Why don’t you even pay for the holidays? My gosh this is why I say a lot of women are better off single.

@FreshCop why should he pay for the holidays? We are not in 1932, women go out to work and earn their own money and don't need to be kept anymore.

Why question someone's gender like that? In a world where we strive for equality you want to knock us back a few years and gender stereotype someone.

How do you know the OP is a man ? ,

Ridiculous. Presumably she has to do all the cleaning and cooking in this case