Girlfriend moving in

[Spanky123]

Hi all,
Am thinking of asking my girlfriend to move in. I own a house in my name with a mortgage and have been thinking about options. How fair would £400/500 per month sound with half of that going into a joint savings for us to use towards holidays and fun things. The other half would help give me more of a cushion in terms of covering the mortgage and bills?
Am thinking this is the best way for us both to benefit from this situation?
Thanks!

I would never accept this arrangement if OP is male, OP would have far more to gain than the girlfriend.

I have seen this turn to misery for the woman.

My partner moved into my place a few years ago. He pays half my bills and most of the food - he eats more!
I don't need him paying towards my mortgage. I got that place by myself and I can service it. He does put money into (his own!) savings each month which will be the deposit on our next place / his to keep if it doesn't work out. I don't think I'm losing out on anything, I'd be living here and paying my mortgage whether or not he was here. It's just now I don't buy food and my bills are halved.
As for the person commenting on how he is failing in his duty to protect and provide for me, I'll keep my independence and pride in tact by ensuring I can look after myself thankyou.

OP, I think it's always tricky when one partner moves into the other's property. As has been demonstrated, you don't want to leave yourself open to a claim on your property when you split up, which could potentially happen if you have them contribute to the mortgage.

OTOH it doesn't seem fair for them to only contribute to bills if you're shouldering a large mortgage payment.

And from their POV, if they're giving up their rental and moving in with you, they could suddenly find themselves homeless with zero notice if things go badly wrong.

Perhaps the best way to approach it would be to have them move in for an agreed period of time, say 6 months, and contribute X agreed-upon amount for that time. Then if all is well and you both want to move the relationship forward, look for somewhere else to buy together, or add them to the mortgage and deeds, with the existing equity ringfenced to you, and the proportion of ownership split proportionate to what you'll both be contributing. EG if partner A pays £600 a month and partner B pays £400, then it's split 60/40 when sold (minus the ring fenced amount which partner A originally brought to the table.)

what if the OP were female?

There would be less chance of inequality.

Does he make the same as you?

Who does the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping?

@emptythelitterbox He earns slightly less. We both do everything, as and when needed, we're both adults. Though to be honest he tends to do most of the cooking as he WFH and I don't, and therefore most of the shopping as he knows what he needs. Why do you ask?

That’s fine as long as she’s provided with a rental agreement.

And we really don’t need a “if this was the other way around” poor menz post, we don’t even know if the op is a man. Plus you’re wrong anyway, women are advised not to let a man contribute towards the mortgage as then he could have a claim on the house.

What? How is the OP gaining more than the GF? Her rent and bills at the moment must be more than he is suggesting

I would look at the cost of a similar property if you were renting together as a starting point. Split the bills 50/50. Leave the mortgage out of it and then discuss what a fair contribution would be. Ensure your girlfriend has some security I.e. a reasonable time frame to find somewhere else to live if you split up. Also if the property has a couple of bedrooms then make one her room for hobbies, office, walk in wardrobe etc. we suggested this to our DD when she moved into her boyfriends flat which he owned. She then felt less vulnerable when they eventually split up as she had her own space and also was able to have friends to stay if she wanted. She didn’t feel quite that she was living in his property.

@FreshCop just because it's cultural doesn't means it's right. Or equal.

Women are treated like shit. Your posts go the other way where you describe women basically needing to be treated like princesses. Chattel even

Just being treated as an equal would be nice...

You can claim I’m wrong all you like but I’ve seen many posts on here where posters are calling men who move in and don’t want to pay ‘as they wouldn’t be on the mortgage’ or ‘she’s paying that anyway, irrespective of him being there’ cocklodgers, and saying how terrible he is for wanting to live rent-free in her place etc.