What's the honeymoon period like if you're in your 40s or 50s?

[FatAntelope]

I'm pending divorce. And just wondering what the beginning of a relationship is like when you're passed your peak physical appearance?

Is the beginning of the relationship still all loved up and all about sex?

If it's not...that's not a bad thing as it will probably make me trust the relationship more but just wondered if the loved up feeling manages to override the fact that neither of our bodies will be as sexy as they used to be.

🤣🤣 do it.

I'm early fifties, menopausal and currently out of shape.........but also in the most amazing relationship of my life.
I've had love without sex (ltr with father of my children where sex life was rubbish) and sex without love (great sex, no deeper feelings)
Met my current partner online (yep - I was surprised too - kissed a few frogs first!) and have the most amazing, loving relationship and great sex and have never been happier, more confident or content.

It’s so much better as you appreciate the good stuff

My post marriage partner , I’m early 50’s and he was late 50’s. We aren’t together now ( long story) but it was the most tender, beautiful but also fabulous and exciting love making I ever had and i can’t believe I will have that again with anyone else. I’m in pretty good shape for my age as I work hard at it, he is pushing 60, overweight and most would say no oil painting but I caught my breath every time he walked in the room.
Age is nothing.

Tbh my sex life pre age 49 was in black and white compared to the glorious Technicolor of today.

I spent my 50th birthday year shagging men of every age in as many ways as I could think of. The glorious passion that some men have for women's bodies... I found it inspiring and a huge ego boost tbh. Some really hot guys as well - all about fitness and/or confidence, not age.

Then I met dp and the honeymoon isn't over after 2 years. I'm fundamentally unromantic but I adore him all the same.

Hopefully, the honeymoon is with us forever after 17 years of hopefully happy marriage.

Mindblowing sex too.

6 years in and we're still in the honeymoon stage.(53 and 50) We don't live together yet, but I can't imagine things changing much when we do.

The sex is (to use his words) absolutely glorious. Energetic, imaginative, deeply satisfying, fun... Just amazing all round. It helps that he has incredible stamina 😁

Best relationship of my life.

Honestly, I think romance and great sex depends on chemistry and compatibility. Age really is irrelevant, apart from if you develop health conditions that interfere.

met mine when I was late 40’s… friendship only for about four years….
discovering each other’s bodies came along later, but he never gave me reason to think I was distasteful to him.
20 years later, he loves my body even more.
I really don’t understand how he can, but he hates it when I question how on Earth he can adore and enjoy my “bits”…
of course we love and respect each other, and that’s only grown with each passing week month year.
im so happy that he’s excited by even the thought of me, and he says coming home to me is a joy.
I do understand what your saying though, it’s hard to believe that after life’s ravages, that you can be attractive and sexy and everything you believed only belonged to the young and fresh set.
we appreciate each other everyday…
when we are out together, we’ve been told that others can even see our “connection”.
im not showing off op, I’m just stressing to you that yes yes yes it’s entirely possible.
like another pp said though, make sure you show your appreciation of him too.
any genuine person won’t be bigheaded about that. In fact it should make them double back their appreciation of you. Win Win!

Genuinely curious how sex post menopause can be better than sex before that milestone? Isn't a change in hormones changing the ability to get aroused and hormones levels depleting (the ones that keek women lubricated and excited?

We were in our 50's when we first got together. We'd been talking online for 9 months before that. I flew to his city, ran into his arms and we drove straight to a hotel. Stayed in that room for a week without ever leaving, lived on room service and sex ! Neither of us had a wonderful body, but we didn't ( and still don't) care.

It really doesn't matter what either of you looks like - when you're no longer young, appearances have no importance. My tummy is covered in operation scars and stretch marks - he said he loved my tummy because he could read my life's journey there. Yep, he does love and adore me , it's wonderful . Still happy 10 years later .

Menopause doesn't have any impact on the ability to get excited or have an orgasm - and a little lube works wonders. Sex after menopause is so free and easy ! No worries about contraception or little kids sleeping in the next room . You have something to look forward to, xfan

@Xfan because hormone levels are only one factor among many. Yes there are women whose menopause means almost the end of their sex life but I do think the overall quality of the relationship at the time feeds into that too.

@xfan It’s great that there is more information about and acknowledgement of menopause around now, but it’s not inevitable that menopause will be awful and I think that message has been lost. Both the process and the aftermath for me have been a breeze for some reason. I get as wet as ever and orgasms are amazing. Yes I’m with the right man now but the same was true in the year I worked my way though I think six men at the age of 55.

HRT and experience and no fear of pregnancy and ability to do it whenever you want to name a few...

Just came on to agree - well post menopause and everything works just fine.
Retirement gives you the time and energy to concentrate more fully on each other.

Despite having a big tummy and the proper post 3 c sections flap/ apron, I have a glorious couple of years post separation at 45 with younger very fit attractive men. I didn't want a proper relationship and had a great jo, assets and kids. I wanted a man for fun. Met my DP who is grey and bald and v stocky though very fit.

I cannot tell you how attracted we are to each other. We now live together and shag most days once and more on weekends. He travels alot for work and I always get a love letter from the plan.

We also do really fun things in bed, so honest and transparent. He loves me dressing up and I know have a whole collection on beautiful underwear, which is amusing as my body was definitely the worst it has ever been but I honestly feel like a super model in it as that is how I feel he sees me. I am always sneaking covert looks at him too. I just find him so handsome!

Funnily enough we met a couple at a 50th recently on their second marriage and we were all abit divorce battle scarred. However, once we had all shared the stories we then started laughing and talking about how no-one tells you the best bit, you get the honeymoon period and amazing sex. It is the best secret. No stale 25 year marriages and whole new lease of life!

I’ve nothing to add (yet !) but I’ve read this thread and grinned the whole way through ! It’s wonderful to read these stories, it’s given me a huge boost, F54 newly divorced and I was feeling like that side of life and meeting a new partner won’t happen for me now (mediocre looks that are fading anyway, the dreaded apron tum etc etc). I’m funny and kind and (I think that i’m) a nice person, but you can’t ‘see’ those things first off, can you ?
Anyway, great thread x

Agree!

Re sex drive: I’m still with my DH so not meeting someone new but my sex drive has definitely gone up since menopause. I’m not on HRT. I think that’s really common. So don’t assume things will peter out in that regard 😀!

@youlightupmyday that's great to hear. I also have a lovely c section over hang and it's one thing to be with the man that I gave children to but for another man it's difficult to see how he would see passed that. But I'm sure I'll get with someone who has children so I guess that makes a difference. Thanks for your post it really helps.

@starrynight21 thanks for sharing. That's lovely that he values your body like that.

My DP has never or kids and thinks/ believes he had never shagged a mother before he met me. And my previous youger guys were also childless so you just have to be confident that the right guys don't care, because they don't.

Mind you I hate it so am going to have a tummy tuck. Which is different thread.

It's amazing
I got divorced after a 25 year marriage.
Had a couple of years on my own then joined a dating site.

Took quite a bit of advice during that dating period from Mumsnet to be fair as was so nervous.
Went on one date a month for about 18 months and all but one were genuinely lovely but I just didn't want romance or casual sex.

Looking back would love to write a book on first dating experience ever in my 40's ! Omg what a learning curve .
Anyways decided was entirely happy single and wham met my soon to be husband.
In the bedroom I was beyond nervous .
Had 4 dc in my previous marriage and dp was younger / no dc and never slept with anyone who had had any dc as only a couple of partners both long term.
Honestly ..... had never experienced anything like it even within my marriage) as that was pretty much arranged so wasn't even attracted to him)
I'll never forget spending one entire weekend under the covers withou even realising literally what day of the week it was until ex dh called to ask where I was as he was waiting on my drive to drop the dc home after his weekend ! I remember looking at myself amd thinking holy I need to get a grip I'm almost 50 !
Anyway he's turned out to be the one and perhaps not every night now but after 6 years we still fancy the pants off each other and while not ripping each other's clothes off so much now I'm looking forward very much to revisiting that honeymoon period without any dc on out actual honeymoon next summer !
Don't worry with the right person it's still absolutely amazing .

I got together with DH when he was 55, definitely still had the butterflies in stomach, lots of sex, can’t keep your hands off each other experience! We are still very much in the honeymoon period 4 years on 😁

I was in my mid 40s, he was in his 50s, honeymoon period was the same as when I was in my 20's, except we had more money, experience and time, so we could choose to rip each others clothes off or hold hands and stare into each others eyes over a dinner table in Rome or Valencia