What's the honeymoon period like if you're in your 40s or 50s?

[FatAntelope]

I'm pending divorce. And just wondering what the beginning of a relationship is like when you're passed your peak physical appearance?

Is the beginning of the relationship still all loved up and all about sex?

If it's not...that's not a bad thing as it will probably make me trust the relationship more but just wondered if the loved up feeling manages to override the fact that neither of our bodies will be as sexy as they used to be.

No not on hrt. In the peri-menopause stage

Oh and agree with the fact that because been there and done that re marriage and kids, this is all about being with someone because you want to be. No other reason. No staying together because of kids or money or marriage. Very liberating and means if it ain’t amazing you can walk away.

So you were before with people because you HAD to be rather than because you wanted to?

Well I was married with kids and we wouldn’t have stayed together as long as we did if we weren’t/didn’t I guess because you want to try and make it work

I love reading things like this and it makes me so excited for the future! Then I remember I have to actually separate from my husband first... 😮

I always wonder why people get married at all when I read threads like this . Could have endless honeymoon phases with a new relationship every 3 years 🤣

Because they usually can't afford the single life especially if they want to get on to the property ladder and to have children so they "settle"

Or it's too expensive to be a single parent unless you have significant own funds and family support?

@xfan True but many also fixate on the next relationship after divorce or separation too! Probably just programmed to be coupled up.

I think the loved up feeling overrides any age related feelings of insecurity if it's sufficiently strong. My new DP (14 months) and I are having the best sex of our lives by far. I couldn't eat or sleep the first few weeks we met either. Occasionally I think "I wish I still had my pre-breastfeeding breasts" but honestly once I am with him it doesn't matter at all. It's better now because we are both more relaxed and confident and the kids are at the other spouses' houses!

Sorry I meant the kids are at the other ex-spouses' houses!

I surprised myself I managed to attract younger men 😂 generally though you will still find others in your age group attractive, you don't become they old and past it once you hit 49/50's I think people take better care of their looks. Attraction hasn't been a problem but finding compatibility has been, I'm older wiser, and not likely to put up with bs. So the honeymoon period only lasts a few weeks if that.

I'm in my early 40s and must admit the men that I come across in my age "range" have mostly let themselves go and are ageing badly (Inc their personalities!) I have a young child and am still ensuring that I look after myself, stay fit and healthy (within reason). Most I wouldn't touch with a bargepole nowadays. Not sure where all the posters find these 'attractive' men! It really was a completely different choice when we were all much younger, not just physically but approach to life too

16 months in (mid 40s) and we often joke that the honeymoon period isn’t wearing off, it’s getting stronger and we are like giddy teenagers!

I didn’t think I’d meet someone else but feel so much more secure than I ever did in my marriage. We do make the most of kid free time and the freedom of weekends away and long weekend lie ins make it all still exciting.

So pleased to read this! Very glad you're in a healthy relationship and that you feel good about yourself!

I am most definitely hefty and am quite tall as well. Too embarrassed to date. Which is ridiculous because I've a lot going for me.

I was in a Sexless marriage as well and it shattered my already low self esteem and confidence.

I'm on the up professionally and personally and have high hopes for the romantically aspect. Just need to stop eating so much!

I’ve just turned 60 so several years post-menopause, no HRT. Have been with DP (53) for nearly 4 years and honeymoon is still very much on - we shag every night we’re together (5 nights a week) and it’s bloody fantastic, way better/sexier than when I was young. Celibate for 10 years previously. He worships my body and is sooo loving and affectionate, we’re like soppy teenagers but with no angst or pressure. Fab

Well I did OLD. Most were pretty grim and I go to the gym and keep very fit and was very fussy. Found one gem though and that’s all you need

It's so much better as I have so much more self-confidence in my 40's than I did in my 20's. My ability to communicate and know where my boundaries are is so much clearer to me following past relationships that haven't worked out which makes the physical side of things so much better too.

I always thought the honeymoon phase was an emotional feeling thing, not a physical seeing thing. A phase you go through where you’re a bit blinded to faults because you like them. You don’t mind their wobbly and podgy and hairy bits because you’re flooded with love hormones. You find their crap jokes funny.

Once the honeymoon phase eases off, you start to notice things that bug you about them.

Maybe I’ve been getting this wrong all my life

Oh well.

I did online dating and met some boring men in the 40s and 50s and never thought I’d find that spark with anyone again and then met dp. He isn’t my normal type but I fancied him so much it was a very hot first date - like being a teenager. That was theee years ago.

I think a little bit depends on how long ago divorce was and how well you and/or your potential partner have recovered from it/ what type of personalities you are.

We were both a little untrusting and bruised so the initial building an emotional connection stage was really significant and lovely and different to when I was in my 20s (physical stuff first, ask questions later!).

Waited a bit with getting physical and took it slow. First time he kissed me... Just wow. Definitely behaving like teenagers a lot, sneaking out of the way to have a snog when out and about :) Agree with PPs that sex is better too, think it helps when both people are more mature and know what they want/like and can be open about it rather than trying to live up to what they think is expected.

@DatingDinosaur I don't think you've been getting in wrong. I agree with everything you've said but I was wondering if the loved up feeling can see past the wobbly bits.

Well hopefully we’ve reassured you that it most certainly can!

Hmmmmm the sex was mind-blowing

the snags were:
Kept worrying that he'd open the curtains one day and start screaming (he never did)

Kept worrying that I was having waaaaay more fun than ex-DH, and this wasn't fair or right.

I sort of got over both.

@toobusytothink yes you have. Thank you! Lovely thread...much nicer than the LTB ones 😂