HIV?

[Sheree2000]

Can someone educate me more on this without judgement…myself and my partner don’t have HIV but we’ve started having anal sex it’s a lot more enjoyable for my partner then me as I find it painful but I just wanted to know if you can get HIV from this, even if you and your partner don’t have it, sorry if it’s a stupid question I have anxiety and I’m over thinking about it a lot and want to be safe. Thank you.

HIV is transmitted from person to person via bodily fluids so, no, you can't get HIV from anal sex unless your partner has it. Are you thinking of the link between HPV and anal warts? Again, HPV is transmitted by someone carrying the virus only

If this is real, and given the stupidly ignorant question I highly doubt it, can I ask why you are doing something that you don't enjoy and find painful just to keep a partner happy. To answer the question, if both if you are faithful and have tested clear then how can you transmit something that you don't have...

No. If neither of you has the virus you cannot pass it to each other.
I'm not sure if things have changed with modern tests but there was a window period of up to three months where you could be carrying the virus but testing negative.

Don't do it - you find it painful and it will result in all sorts of health problems. You can't get HIV if the other person hasn't got it, though.

No, you can't contract a bloodborne virus if neither of you have it.

This cannot be real.

And you don't have to, and shouldn't do anything that you don't want to or don't enjoy. Do you feel that your partner is putting pressure on you to have anal sex?

FGS don't have painful sex just to keep your partner happy

Anal sex does come with lots of health risks. I wouldn’t find something painful enjoyable. Does your partner know you are finding it enjoyable. Most men, well good men would not want to do something their partner is finding painful.

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-11102677/amp/Doctors-reluctance-discuss-anal-sex-letting-women-unaware-risks.html

Why are you having sex that you don't enjoy? You can't get HIV from someone who doesn't have HIV.

Mostly helpful answers to the OPs question.

However, if you think it’s a stupid question why not just move on? Would you rather this woman sits in silence worrying herself? Or would you rather she asked a question and receives an answer? I don’t like when people mock others for not knowing the answer to something. I know loads of specialist, niche things. And there’s loads of ordinary, simple stuff I don’t know anything about.

It’s a whole ‘mocking others’ vibe that seems to be getting worse on here.

Yes he knows I don’t enjoy it and it’s painful for me but he likes to do anal sex more then vaginal sex also he can ejaculate inside when we do anal as I won’t get pregnant so he prefers it sorry if too much information but it has put me off having sex with him I don’t look forward to it as I know he’ll wanna do anal

Normally I would agree and say you'd never speak to someone like that in real life, but on this occasion if this were my colleague or friend I would have reacted in the same way and probably giggled at them (at the HIV bit. Not the painful anal sex bit. That's obviously not good).

I guess he is…he prefers it over vaginal sex and there’s been times where I’ve told him I don’t want to do it anymore but then during intercourse he’ll try and put it in there and I’ll feel bad for saying no

OP there are lots of ways to stop pregnancy. Condoms. Birth control. Coil. Etc. The fact that he is happy to have anal sex with you even though he knows it hurts and you don't like it is a big problem. OP you should never do anything sexual that you don't want to.

So what happens if you tell him no? Or what would happen?

I’m only 22 and as you can tell not very educated on stds on top of that I have a lot of anxiety and paranoia so even if it seems obvious that you can’t contract hiv this way I can’t help but over think didn’t want judgement

This sounds like coercive and controlling behaviour. He makes you feel bad for saying no to anal sex so you just do it anyway. OP can you tell us a bit more about your relationship? I have a feeling he is probably quite controlling and you might need help here.

He won’t get angry or anything but he would get annoyed if I say no or he’ll say “one more time” as it’s a lot easier for him to ejaculate through anal then vaginal sex

OP - please, please, please do not stay with a man who is willing to have sex with you that he knows hurts you. This is not the man for you. There are many, many other ways to avoid pregnancy. But get rid of this man. A man who is happy to hurt you is a bad partner. You need to leave him behind.

Saying "one more time" then having sex with you after you've said no is rape

Thank you for your concern I really appreciate it in all honesty I’ve been in a mentally/physically abusive relationship before so I can say that this isn’t the case with my partner he just likes doing anal over vaginal sex and I always feel bad for saying no as he struggles to ejaculate from vaginal sex. He does kinda control the way I dress once we went out and he didn’t like what I was wearing so walked off from me I had to trail behind him and he said I’m an embarrassment but it’s because he’s Muslim.

I end up giving in and saying yes

Run for the hills woman. This is a horribly abusive relationship.

No if neither of you have HIV you won’t catch it.

however he sounds awful OP and I hope you dump him and find someone nicer who will respect you and not treat you like a blow up doll.