My partner and I have had a tough few months recently due to severe factors- family issues and mental health (on my part).
We get one night a week together where neither of us have to work and that was tonight.
He made lunch and we sat down to watch tv. He had family drama on fb again and sat on his phone for 2.5 hours arguing various points. In the moments he put his phone down I tried to hold his hand or squidge in for a cuddle but he just inched over as soon as his phone went off. I left it, and went for a bath. When I came back after drying my hair, he asked if I had a bath. I replied that he would've known if he took his face out of his phone for two seconds. He got pissed off immediately and left the room. I know my response was unnecessary.
An hour later, I went to see if he was okay. He told me he was still pissed off etc. and a little disagreement started (bit of back and fourth)- I then said that I think he needs to stand back and have a look at his life and why he always thinks people are attacking him and can't just have a conversation. I stupidly bought up his ex and said that it seems to be the same in our relationship than it was with that one.
My meaning- he constantly says he's doing everything he can to make me happy I.e occasional flowers and making me lunch but then whenever a disagreement happens he takes everything to heart and says everyone's blaming him for everything, which isn't the case.
He took it as- you're the reason why that relationship failed and why this one isn't going great.
The thing with the ex is- if we split up his excuse would be parallel as to why they broke up- she didn't appreciate him, he tried to make her happy but she didn't want it etc. and with me that's not true. I try very hard to keep everyone happy, mainly to my own detriment.
He was devastated. Sat there crying, refused to speak with me and explain why I'd caused such a reaction- at this time I didn't know that he'd taken my meaning in the opposite way to what I meant.
He asked me to leave him alone, so I did.
Eventually he briefly spoke to me, which is when I realised how he'd taken it. I tried to explain but he wasn't having any of it.
He spent half the night on the sofa and I tried to sleep in with my DD. Then at 4.30 he moved back to bed.
I feel awful, I've been up all night. I've apologised profusely and tried to explain what I meant but I need to leave him alone now.
I genuinely didn't mean to hurt him and I don't know what to do now.
I've really fucked this one and I don't know if we'll be okay.
Not overly sure what this thread is going to achieve- just don't know where else to funnel this as I don't have anyone to speak too.