Partner left randomly

[Lisagreen12]

So 48 hours ago my DH Up and left. We weren’t properly arguing just a slight disagreement and he packed a bag and left. I’m so confused by it all I don’t even know if we are still together. Do I message him? Call him? Wait for him to respond. As he was leaving he said he was going for a night and this is now the third night and I’ve heard nothing, I’m not even sure how many clothes he has with him or where he is. What do I say to him? I’m heartbroken.

Have you got a shed or outbuilding you can dump all his stuff in, somewhere he can access without having to see

Hit send sorry.
Without having to see him
Or dump it on his mums drive or something
Take care of yourself OP you are in shock atm.
Make sure you eat and drink, even if its just sugary tea

No I don’t, the family car is his which is another issue :( I had a gut feeling for weeks he was having an affair, I should have listened to it

Oh and be prepared for him trying to worm his way back in when he realises the grass isn't greener and becomes homeless when it doesn't work our with the OW.
Do you have kids together?

Is he your husband or just a boyfriend? (If married it’s likely to not be ‘your’ house but a marital asset) take your half from the joint savings, can you support yourself independently?

He is actually just my partner, we were meant to get married in COVID but never got round to it. We don’t have any savings.

Also, I rent. The tenancy’s in my name

Good that the tenancy in sole name and not married. You don’t have to let him in! What a absolute shit. Empty the joint savings fuck him.

He just up and left after creating an argument. What a cowardly excuse for a human! You are much better off without him, the OW can have him, and I bet within weeks she'll be kicking him out. Stay strong OP, you don't need him back.

Take half the savings and put it in your account, so he can't take it. If you've put more than half in there, take out what you put in.

And as for his stuff. Well, he left. So as far as you are concerned, he isn't returning for it. I'd be putting it in bin bags and sticking it out for the dustman to take. Or drop it all off at a charity shop.
Don't give it another thought.

Empty the joint savings fuck him.

Actually yes this. Consider it his contribution towards the rent while you sort things out, as hes left you in the shit.

Since OP literally just said there are no savings, these vengeful suggestions aren't much use.

OP, have you spoken to anyone in real life about what's going on yet? Please reach out for support to family & friends.

Can you manage without a car in the meantime?

If you have no children just be grateful this happened now and move on because this is not how you treat someone you are serious about.

If you have children it's different. It depends what type of person he is and how you want to arrange custody.

You dodged a bullet. Go to a gallery or have a nice meal somewhere.

Change the locks, take half the savings, and put his stuff out at the kerb.

I’be only spoken to one friend about it who was a bit blaming me. I can manage without a car for now. I’m scared how to deal with this on my own, we were in the middle of decorating and I’ve got no idea where to start with it all.

Blaming you omg that’s not nice. I’ve had the same done to me. Bag all his crap up take any laundry he has in the bags as well all toiletries bag it up have a good clean out. Give him a time to collect and put out the front garden (if you have one) . Also don’t be surprised if he hasn’t been telling people ah it’s been over a while before I left she did this she did that all lies of course so he can paint himself the victim.

Sorry to hear that, OP, but carry on doing what you've already started. Prioritise individual tasks and try not to do it all at once and become overwhelmed. Tell your DC. Benefits. Income. Clear his rubbish. Try and remember so he can't try and rekindle the relationship or gaslight your memory. Put your idiot friend straight or dump them if they try to blame you unfairly. Good luck.

He’s trying to worm his way back in and pretending it didn’t happen

Omg what a total pig. What the grass wasn’t as greener! Tosser. What excuses is he coming up with it’s not what it seems she is just a good friend, or she is just some stupid woman I know off turning to stir trouble for me.

Yep that they’re just friends and he didn’t sleep there he stayed in his car

With a dog as well!. My ex used that one, wasn’t living with anyone was sleeping in his car, yeah I knew he had moved in with her immediately. When I looked back he had been on his phone a lot and Facebook messenger allegedly chatting to friends. Started nitpicking.

Sorry nit picking things wrong with the house too messy children were messy and tired a lot, working late. Making out he couldn’t cope with home life. She had kids as well so 🤷‍♀️ .

Ah he's a shit!
She's either dumped him or he's realised the grass isn't greener. Definitely LTB

They’re just friends and he slept in his car….? HAHAHAHAHA. Do not let this lying shit back into your house or your life op.