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Original poster

Where did you find love in later life, after divorce?

86 replies

middleagedmummytotwo · 24/10/2022 16:26

I was married for many years and have been divorced for 5. I've been on dates, but no one has really taken my fancy!

Any stories of 'love after divorce' in later life?

OP posts:
notsurewhat2do99 · 26/10/2022 01:13

WeAreOnTheRoadToNowhere · 25/10/2022 07:15

@notsurewhat2do99
I used Match. I decided a paid site might filter out time wasters. I picked it because its the biggest and i dont live near a city. I took some tips off here. Didn't want to waste much time messaging so no more than a week or 2 before meeting. I also decided I was going to use it as practice to meet people so, within reason, I decided to meet as many blokes as possible
I had some definite things I wouldn't compromise on such as smoking. I don't really find men attractive until I find a connection so I tried not to be swayed by looks. That was good. I found that some looked much better or much worse that their photos but none were old photos, just flattering or not
The bloke I'm now seeing takes a shocking photo and my friend tried to put me off!
I only met for coffee for the first date too

Thanks @WeAreOnTheRoadToNowhere - that is interesting. I might give Match a go.

Andypandy799 · 26/10/2022 10:31

Would love the answer to this question 🙋‍♂️ ha ha

Been living alone for 2 years now after a ltr and ffs it gets lonely at times

Minikievs · 26/10/2022 10:36

Bumble.

I tried match before as I thought paying for a site might improve my chances.
I didn't like it AT ALL. Anyone can message you, so there were reams and reams of messages from absolute dead beats that I wouldn't look twice at. Meaning that any "good" ones were lost within the dross.

At least on bumble and tinder you have to actually match before they can contact you.

My experience was that the same men were on all sites, so I'd save your money and go with the free ones.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 26/10/2022 10:51

Tinder. Met the absolute love of my life whist divorcing my abusive, gaslighting ex husband. It can happen OP!

Hellno44 · 26/10/2022 11:10

I met my 2nd husband at university in my early 30s. My suggestion is do things for yourself that you like at least then you'll meet like minded people. Although, if i divorced now i wouldn't remarry. I wouldn't live with another man. I realise i liked being on my own and don't really want to compromise.

InsanityOf2020 · 26/10/2022 16:00

Met my lovely DP on FB dating. 6 years after the split and with some pretty wierd encounters inbetween. Had spent the last year or so comfortable in being single and went onto fb dating bored one night fully expecting to shut it down in a couple of days because OLD has never been a good experience but lo and behold, there he was. So i recommend giving up but keeping your options open

myquicheisbetterthanyourquiche · 26/10/2022 16:02

girl71 · 24/10/2022 17:46

The key is op ,to get to know someone. I am not an instant attraction person. I can meet someone and not fancy them at all, in fact i can not fancy someone for months or ever but, see that they are nice looking. I see others crooning over them and i just don't ever get it.

But, getting to know someone over time, in a natural environment, an attraction builds in me. Their smile, their banter, the way they look at me, their values, their sense of fun. This is why most of my key relationships have been formed at work, including my current one. It really is about time and a realisation. This is what online will never have in my view, the time taken for that rip your clothes off attraction to build. Real world and slow build up every time.

Agree with every word of this.

palelavender · 14/03/2023 06:24

My husband's stepmother who was widowed met another widower at church. The Millionaire Next Door books also suggest making sure you try various churches to find your demographic. They seem very happy - he seems very nice with grown up children, and is very comfortable financially. I dont think you have to be very devout.

xfan · 14/03/2023 08:08

I couldn't think of anything worse to be looking out for a boyfriend at work. I hated most of my jobs and I wouldn't want anyone else finding out how much I despised management,the work itself etc. Secondly,if the relationship didn't work out, it could cause serious problems for you to remain there.

colouringindoors · 17/03/2023 22:17

@girl71 Totally agree. My relationships and friendships have evolved over a significant period of time. I fell in love with someone totally not my type after seing him at events over a few years and
getting to experience how lovely he is bit by bit. How do you get anywhere near that with online?!

LadyWithLapdog · 17/03/2023 22:22

Apologies for not RTFT especially when it’s only 2 pages, but have you seen Davina is doing a Love Island- style show for not 20s people?

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