Where did you find love in later life, after divorce?

[middleagedmummytotwo]

I was married for many years and have been divorced for 5. I've been on dates, but no one has really taken my fancy!

Any stories of 'love after divorce' in later life?

"@xfan I also suspect many women post divorce 'settle' in a different way now, to avoid loneliness but wouldn't admit it in the real world".

Totally respect your point of view but, in my experience, and of which i am one; with a load of other friends either waiting very patiently for their own singledom... or women who actively divorce , quite like the aloneness and the freedoms of their new life.

It's more about sex and who they fancy and are now free to have to have sex with. It's the having your own home again, working and being out there, being independent, being free , putting yourself first and the newness of that new man or potential men.

Most divorced or widowed women i know, love their independence and have no desire to change that. For me, l loved getting back the financial independence and my own home ownership i had in the 90's, pre DH. I and my similar friends will never jeopardise that again. But, we do like the company of men. You can have relationships that work , without the need for moving in, sharing finances etc.

Being fussy, getting to know someone and taking your time, all good. Being confident in yourself, being independent and non plussed , being totally in charge of you and know that when you do hair and make up you look damn fine. Slowly building up with someone, all very appealing to men.

Met DH in a local pub at a meeting after we co-opted into a community campaign. Two months in we went to his cousin's birthday party and one of my oldest friends walked in. We were both late 40s at the time. Both divorced. Now together 21 years, married 18.

Friend gave up and went travelling. Now married to the chap who randomly sat next to her on the Canadian Pacific and living on his home country.

Other friends worked together for years and got together after they both retired.

Keep an open mind OP

I was separated for 6 months and then met my now husband on MySpace! That was 16 years ago and we have been married for 14 years.

Walking my dogs. He was into wildlife photography and we chatted most days. He then asked if I minded if he dog walked with me (he loves walking). I made it very clear I was not looking for a man and he said no one would ever live up to his wife who had sadly died. For over two years (without any romance whatsoever) we walked the dogs for 3 hours a day. You get to know someone well when you spend so much time with them.

I then had a flooded kitchen, he was the first person I rang and he came to help immediately. We both started to realise we were very close. That was over 4 years ago and we are happy in each other's company. He is a very good man.

Was married for 14 years, single for 3 then met my now DH on hinge. It happens ☺️

I’m F54, recently single (divorced) after 16 years of marriage.
I don’t know if I want to meet anyone again or not but I am loving this thread.

I met my fiancé online, initially for fun only purposes but unusually it developed into more. We've been together four years and are just moving in together.

Thank you for writing this. I’ve always felt like such a weirdo that I don’t get that ‘intense like or lust’ for someone straight away. With my ex husband it took about a year haha and with the guy I’m currently seeing I know he’s good looking and nice but k haven’t got those flutters yet yet your post has made me see we’re not all the same!

I met my DH on hinge after being divorced 10 years, and only once I'd made peace with the fact I was quite happy to live my life as a single person. He was worth the wait, but I spent time with some real wrong 'uns to get here. Married my high school boyfriend so dating experience was non existent when I was thrown back out into the world of men at 27, I felt like everyone else was playing a game and they wouldn't tell me the rules. There are some awful people out there but if you can take each encounter with a liberal pinch of salt, and look upon each situation as one you might make a friend (rather than meet a husband) in, you can have fun with it!

At work.

Post divorce, tried OLD for two years and dated a lot. Met some really lovely people, mixed with a few awful ones. There were a few that I had really strong connections with, but either mutual baggage got in the way, or lifestyles too different for the long term.

Then a freight train hit me at work. Someone I'd noticed, but never chased (unprofessional), had a chance interaction as we work in different departments. We flirted a bit over 3 months and an evening event brought us together..and then we just exploded like fireworks.

We're now three years in and it's the first time I've ever been in what I now recognise as a mutually loving relationship. Absolutely fantastic.

Divorced 2016 at 54 after 30 years. Licked wounds in 2017. Shagged Tinder senseless in 2018. Met DP on Fabswingers in 2019. He is an amazingly loving man, a real revelation.

Spilt up with my ex after 24 years together.

Definitely wasn't looking for anyone else. Started volunteering at a group my son went to. After a while started liking another one of the volunteers. Moped about for a year thinking he couldn't possibly like me (and he had a girlfriend for some of that time) Then after a bit of light flirting by text he asked me out.

That was nearly 3 years ago, and he's pretty damn amazing.

I didn't compromise on my dealbreakers - which are no smoking, no drugs, not an alcoholic (as my ex is, so not going there again) I also didn't want to live with a man again, so made it clear from the start (the very start, when I overshared on our first date)

I'm another once that has to get to know someone, I looked at OLD briefly but just couldn't get choosing someone by looks alone, and whatever brief thing they'd written about themselves (knowing how awkward I found it, I couldn't judge them for shit bios)

Oh wow, there's hope for me yet! Thanks for posting this.

At 50, and with a disability then you would imagine it would be a struggle to find someone. I avoided OLD as I am put off by the horror stories, and my career conflicts with being seen on dating apps (students and clients may see me). I have found no problem at all getting male attention while out and about shopping, travelling and so forth. I met someone in a hobby group online and we made friends before meeting, and mutually wanting a bit more. Attraction is founded on mutual interests really. Prior to that, I have met men on training courses, at work meetings and once while walking the dog. I am very picky and have some extreme medical issues, as well as children with additional needs, so I have kissed a few frogs before setting them free as unsuitable. However, I am onto a winner now, and he is different to past boyfriends/ husband. We went on holiday a few weeks ago and it was great. I think as you mature then your expectations change and some people are happy in their own skin so don't settle for any old relationship. Good luck to you!!

Was married for 25 years before I left my ex. Met DH on Tinder, we were very happy together and got married last May aged 57.

I am 52

Match.com

By saying yes to every social event or meeting I was invited to and volunteering for things. Finally met him at a friends barbeque for an event I had volunteered at. I didn't feel like going out that evening but went anyway.

That's a lovely story - you give me hope. I'm a similar age and would like to meet someone new. Which dating site did you use, please, and are there any others that you recommend?

I'm separated 5 years, divorced 3. Met last DP on tinder but it fizzled out after about 3 years. I'm back on Tinder now but have spoken to very few genuine people. Have had 2 dates, 1st guy told me he loved me on 1st meeting, could not run away fast enough! 2nd date was nice and I probably will see him again, but there was no real spark. I get so disheartened with it all.

On a date night out with a man I'd met via online. 1st time I'd tried that. I was thinking never again, as he was awful.

We were at a concert, during which he spent most of the time talking to his mates that we'd bumped into. I went outside for fresh air, turned and there was current DP looking straight at me. I looked back at him thought, I really fancy him. & if I dont approach him I may never see him again.

Almost 7 years ago. Im late 50s now. He still takes the piss out of my awkward approach and I tell him to shut up as he was struck dumb anyway. We are very happy together.

Divorced 12 years, I met late dp on Plenty of Fish, I only did a profile messing around, I had just lost a lot of weight, won £8k on online bingo & had gone for a revamp, new hairstyle, nails done & new wardrobe. Within 24 hours my inbox was full of a lot of much younger very fit men, I was like a kid in a sweet shop but one man kept on messaging me non stop & after a few days we decided to meet up, we fell in love & were together for nearly 5 years. He passed away nearly 8 years ago & I've been single ever since, I don't want anyone else.

was in the dying embers of a 25 year marriage -no intention or expectation of meeting someone. A guy at a hobby kept asking me to do the hobby with him and I made excuses. Then one evening at a hobby barbecue he was there and I just felt an electric shock. So relieved he hadn’t given up. Now together over a year. Not always a bed roses as I am completely new to dating and he’s been bruised in the past but I simply can’t believe how compatible we are and how complete strangers tell us how happy we look together 😁

I'm loving these stories.

After a 25 year marriage and then a 5 year relationship- followed by a couple of flings that hurt when they ended .....
I'm happy alone . Resigned to my lot I think ! I'm 50 . In the last 6 months I've gained a stone (fucking bastard menopause!) and I can't exercise like I did due to athritis. I for the first time ever feel old . Too old for bullshit .

@DeeCeeCherry - when you say you approached your now DP, what did you say to him? Did you tell him your were on a date with someone else? How did you get rid of the unwanted date?