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Original poster

Where did you find love in later life, after divorce?

86 replies

middleagedmummytotwo · 24/10/2022 16:26

I was married for many years and have been divorced for 5. I've been on dates, but no one has really taken my fancy!

Any stories of 'love after divorce' in later life?

OP posts:
emptythelitterbox · 25/10/2022 03:35

These are great stories.
I'd love to meet someone on a long distance train. Seems so romantic.

My main hesitation in looking is I don't ever want to cook or clean for someone again.

xlynz · 25/10/2022 05:24

Currently going through a separation husband of 5 years has decided to leave me we have a 2 year old son, looking for happy stories or how you dealt with rejection

Karmatime · 25/10/2022 06:11

We met on holiday, both travelling alone, and got on well but just as friends. He was about to move to my home town so we stayed in touch and became very good friends. After about 6 months we both admitted feelings for each other and have now been happily living together for 6 years. I was 50 and divorced for 10 years. Neither of us were looking for a relationship but no regrets, it’s lovely.

Lonecatwithkitten · 25/10/2022 06:13

I was married for 9 years had been together 11 years. Ex had an affair when I didn't give him enough attention - it turned out I had a chronic illness causing fatigue.
It took me 4 years to recovery physically and emotionally. Meet now DH on tinder though we knew a lot of people in common.
I was looking for someone kind and caring who valued their home. DH was a widower.
The first time we met I had an incredibly strong physical reaction (good) it terrified me I nearly ran,
6 years later we are now married DH loves our home as much as I do and is constantly doing little things to improve it. Ex hated spending money on the house wanted the perfect home with no effort or spend on his part.
DH is kind and considerate, he has awful time keeping it drives me potty, but he is hard working and loyal.

autienotnaughty · 25/10/2022 06:14

My good friend met a man at work and dh was his friend. Prior to that I dated a couple of guys I met in the pub.

MadamGardener · 25/10/2022 06:33

I fell in love with a neighbour a few doors down. Completely unexpected! He’d been single for 12 years, me 5, and I’m in my 50s, he 60s. Neither of us had ever been truly in love, we are very blessed.

warofthemonstertrucks · 25/10/2022 06:58

Waitrose wine aisle.

WeAreOnTheRoadToNowhere · 25/10/2022 07:15

@notsurewhat2do99
I used Match. I decided a paid site might filter out time wasters. I picked it because its the biggest and i dont live near a city. I took some tips off here. Didn't want to waste much time messaging so no more than a week or 2 before meeting. I also decided I was going to use it as practice to meet people so, within reason, I decided to meet as many blokes as possible
I had some definite things I wouldn't compromise on such as smoking. I don't really find men attractive until I find a connection so I tried not to be swayed by looks. That was good. I found that some looked much better or much worse that their photos but none were old photos, just flattering or not
The bloke I'm now seeing takes a shocking photo and my friend tried to put me off!
I only met for coffee for the first date too

ohfook · 25/10/2022 07:25

My very lovely friend's husband left her days before her 40th birthday. She's currently having the best sex of her life with a great guy who can't wait for the divorce to come through so he can marry her.

JoanCandy · 25/10/2022 07:45

MadamGardener · 25/10/2022 06:33

I fell in love with a neighbour a few doors down. Completely unexpected! He’d been single for 12 years, me 5, and I’m in my 50s, he 60s. Neither of us had ever been truly in love, we are very blessed.

Love this ! Did you each keep your own homes, I’m curious to know 🙂

Myunclesmustache · 25/10/2022 07:47

I met my 2nd husband at church.🙂

ShippingNews · 25/10/2022 07:59

DH tracked me down on a Facebook " old school friends" group. We had known each other and had a little romance 24 years previously. We were both divorced with older teenage kids. Wrote to each other for 9 months, I flew his city, we've been together ever since. I'd highly recommend checking out school reunion web sites - old friends have the advantage of being a known person . Good luck !

xfan · 25/10/2022 08:14

ShippingNews · 25/10/2022 07:59

DH tracked me down on a Facebook " old school friends" group. We had known each other and had a little romance 24 years previously. We were both divorced with older teenage kids. Wrote to each other for 9 months, I flew his city, we've been together ever since. I'd highly recommend checking out school reunion web sites - old friends have the advantage of being a known person . Good luck !

Isn't that called "reheating" the old soul?? I guess when you run out of options, you start looking up people you wouldn't have really wanted anything serious all those years ago

Uffizi1 · 25/10/2022 08:24

Twitter, incredibly. I only had 30 followers and he was one of them (he had considerably more!) We liked and shared the odd message for about 6 months and then met up.

DaphneduM · 25/10/2022 08:33

I was divorced with a toddler when I went back to work. There was this very nice chap who always used to chat to me when he signed the in/out board which was right by my desk. It was so stressful getting back into work that I didn't give him any thought. However one day I met him on the stairs and it suddenly dawned on me how handsome and lovely he was.

We had a more in depth conversation when everyone else in the office was at lunch and I told him my situation, thinking that there was no way he'd be interested in me. He was younger than me, and single. A couple of days later he asked me for a date - and suggested taking my child on a steam train to see Santa for that first date.

He threw himself into family life and we were married less than a year later. We celebrated our Silver wedding during the pandemic. We're retired now, look after our grandchild a couple of days a week and still do stuff like going out to breakfast together. I feel so fortunate.

I do think the best way, as others have said, is to get to know someone slowly. You have a chance to get insight into their character and personality. Good luck with finding someone lovely.

xfan · 25/10/2022 08:37

DaphneduM · 25/10/2022 08:33

I was divorced with a toddler when I went back to work. There was this very nice chap who always used to chat to me when he signed the in/out board which was right by my desk. It was so stressful getting back into work that I didn't give him any thought. However one day I met him on the stairs and it suddenly dawned on me how handsome and lovely he was.

We had a more in depth conversation when everyone else in the office was at lunch and I told him my situation, thinking that there was no way he'd be interested in me. He was younger than me, and single. A couple of days later he asked me for a date - and suggested taking my child on a steam train to see Santa for that first date.

He threw himself into family life and we were married less than a year later. We celebrated our Silver wedding during the pandemic. We're retired now, look after our grandchild a couple of days a week and still do stuff like going out to breakfast together. I feel so fortunate.

I do think the best way, as others have said, is to get to know someone slowly. You have a chance to get insight into their character and personality. Good luck with finding someone lovely.

Why would you introduce a random man to your child so quickly? That can go terribly wrong and it does for many people.

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 25/10/2022 08:42

Met through a hobby.

I didn't have to compromise, on the contrary he is a major upgrade from the previous model. Except for height, I broke my 6'+ rule but totally worth it.

DivorcedAndDelighted · 25/10/2022 08:48

DaphneduM · 25/10/2022 08:33

I was divorced with a toddler when I went back to work. There was this very nice chap who always used to chat to me when he signed the in/out board which was right by my desk. It was so stressful getting back into work that I didn't give him any thought. However one day I met him on the stairs and it suddenly dawned on me how handsome and lovely he was.

We had a more in depth conversation when everyone else in the office was at lunch and I told him my situation, thinking that there was no way he'd be interested in me. He was younger than me, and single. A couple of days later he asked me for a date - and suggested taking my child on a steam train to see Santa for that first date.

He threw himself into family life and we were married less than a year later. We celebrated our Silver wedding during the pandemic. We're retired now, look after our grandchild a couple of days a week and still do stuff like going out to breakfast together. I feel so fortunate.

I do think the best way, as others have said, is to get to know someone slowly. You have a chance to get insight into their character and personality. Good luck with finding someone lovely.

That's so lovely @DaphneduM - I expect the dating world 25-30 years ago may have felt quite different for a single mum than it does now. So glad it worked out well for you.

DaphneduM · 25/10/2022 08:50

@xfan He wasn't a random man - he was a colleague who had been at his place of work for many years. He also had to have an enhanced DBS check as part of his job. Doing the type of job he did, his values were very clear. It's about judgement.

DaphneduM · 25/10/2022 08:56

@DivorcedAndDelighted Thank you! Yes, so different now - great that the stigma of divorce is no longer - although with me I think it was more in my head than the reality. Also the whole online dating scene has it's pros and cons, to be sure.

Notadramallama · 25/10/2022 15:14

Divorced for five years, very happily single and not looking for anyone, when I met my boyfriend at a hobby group. It took 6 months for us to get to know each other and for him to ask me out. We've been together for 6 months now, not long I know, but he's a definite improvement on my ex and I am smitten.

SunscreenCentral · 25/10/2022 18:05

This is a wonderful thread. It's cheered me up enormously.

wishing love & luck to all x

gogohmm · 25/10/2022 18:07

Met dp on old (paid for though)

movingon2022 · 25/10/2022 18:40

I have been separated for year and a half, not yet divorced. At this point in my life, I do not even think about dating, like at all. Everyone, literally everyone is telling me that I should get a boyfriend and I have no idea why they are saying it. I have been with my ex for over twenty-five years and for years wanted to get out of the relationship as it was suffocating me. It took so much energy and pain to finally break free. I am still struggling to find out what I want, who I am and to know that I am free to do whatever I want. The idea of getting into another relationship fills me with dread.

Igglepiggleslittletoe · 25/10/2022 19:40

Happily divorced and single for over a decade before deciding to dip my toe in again. Met DP on Tinder within a month and could not be happier now.