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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I have been ghosted!

100 replies

lifeisfunnysun · 13/10/2022 17:44

I think I have been ghosted, and while I was so sad and upset, I am now laughing - at my age and all. This guy is nearly 50!

I have been chatting to this guy for a few months. Something I wouldn't normally do, I usually meet them quickly. But something drew me to him. And it's not often I actually quite like a man I come across on these apps. We met a few times. I liked him in person as well. Last weekend, we suggested meeting again, he asked when, I gave a day - tomorrow. I haven't heard from all week! 😂

I get some people are really busy. But I can't believe how sh!t this kind of behaviour is. And I can't believe it is happening at my age lol.

OP posts:
MsBombastic555 · 14/10/2022 20:01

PS 2 hours seems like an extremely short time to reply. Although maybe I get treated horrendously 😂

Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 20:02

He’s had a busy work week - he told me last weekend it was going to be bad. But who is too busy to reply and say Friday works or it doesn’t, when a woman answers your question as to when she is free? He’s just not that into me.

I WhatsApp him 1.5 hours ago. He still hasn’t read it or replied. He could say ‘let me make it to you.’ Nothing. He’s not interested.

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 20:03

MsBombastic555 what do you mean ?

OP posts:
MsBombastic555 · 14/10/2022 20:06

lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 20:03

MsBombastic555 what do you mean ?

I mean waiting 2 hours for a reply is nothing to me. I've had to wait days before. Especially if it's just dating nothing serious. Sorry if this isn't what you were referring to.

Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 20:09

MsBombastic555 oh ok
Maybe my expectations are high I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ I haven’t seen this guy in two weeks and he pretty much ghosted me for 4 days when I suggested a date to meet
that’s bad enough for me
there’s just no desire

OP posts:
MsBombastic555 · 14/10/2022 20:27

lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 20:09

MsBombastic555 oh ok
Maybe my expectations are high I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ I haven’t seen this guy in two weeks and he pretty much ghosted me for 4 days when I suggested a date to meet
that’s bad enough for me
there’s just no desire

I think what happens next will be key. What he replies with and when he replies..🤔 it's not great behaviour from him but perhaps he's absent minded/a tad on the selfish side x

Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 20:29

Nothing will happen. He’s not into me. I’ve told him goodbye. That’s it 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
MsBombastic555 · 14/10/2022 20:34

lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 20:29

Nothing will happen. He’s not into me. I’ve told him goodbye. That’s it 🤷‍♀️

Ok good for you OP. I think you've handled it well. Do let us know though if he replies with anything! I'm too invested now 😂

Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 20:36

Well, two hours on, nothing. As I said, he’s probably on another date 😂🤷‍♀️ What else is a nearly 50 year old single man doing after work on a Friday night? He has no kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 20:36

But yes I’ll reply if he does respond. He may not. After all, I’ve told him goodbye in a nice way.

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 14/10/2022 21:22

lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 20:36

Well, two hours on, nothing. As I said, he’s probably on another date 😂🤷‍♀️ What else is a nearly 50 year old single man doing after work on a Friday night? He has no kids.

Watching telly, watching a film, reading lots to do.

We have several single male friends and when they were 50 (a few years ago) dating was probably last thing on their minds.

Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 21:31

BigFatLiar this guy is actively dating

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 14/10/2022 21:41

Doesn't mean he is tonight.

If he's had a rough week he may be watching the telly, having a curry etc. Or he could be out on the ras. Who knows. As you've decided not to see him again it doesn't matter.

Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 21:43

BigFatLiar I suspect he’s out and busy otherwise he would have sent me a msg back

OP posts:
MyStarBoy · 14/10/2022 21:46

He’s an insincere coward.

In future be aware there are a lot of guys (yes into their 50s) like this around.

Take your time and really get to know someone well before you trust them.

You sound really nice, you’ll be fine.

His loss, silly man.

Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 21:48

Thank you 🙏🏽 MyStarBoy

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 22:11

Hard not to have my confidence knocked by this. I think I’m too fragile and vulnerable for OLD. Maybe I should protect myself and toughen up.

OP posts:
MyStarBoy · 14/10/2022 22:21

It’s hard to toughen up when it’s not in your nature, but you really will have to work on that (and quickly if you’re going to continue with OLD).

You’re important so don’t take any nonsense from shallow players - they’re two a penny.

SavingsThreads · 14/10/2022 22:28

It's not just OLD, I got ghosted a year into a relationship! Some people are just cowards. Hate it when I see ghosting recommended on here

MsBombastic555 · 14/10/2022 22:34

SavingsThreads · 14/10/2022 22:28

It's not just OLD, I got ghosted a year into a relationship! Some people are just cowards. Hate it when I see ghosting recommended on here

That's terrible 💐 and I feel like men do this more than women. I didn't get ghosted as such but I did get broken up with very suddenly, completely out of the blue after 9/10 months followed by ghosting I guess when I was trying find answers as to why..

Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 22:37

MyStarBoy I’m actually quite tough but I’m not after post break up
Think I need time away from this

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 22:38

He’s left my msg unread even tho he has flashed on and off on WhatsApp. I mean 🤷‍♀️

Can’t even be bothered to say ‘ok take care.’

I’ve deleted the chat and his number.

It’s just rude.

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeisfunnysun · 14/10/2022 22:43

Yeah he’s insincere and he can’t bring himself to say goodbye or I’m not feeling it

to be honest he’s not even obligated to

I guess I’m too nice for OLD

OP posts:
strawberriesplease · 14/10/2022 22:44

Yes, delete and block so you can't see what's he's doing. Time to draw that line etc

Look, it could've been worse and you got in deeper with more dates before finding out he is a moron (his words).

Lucky escape and all that

Winceybincey · 14/10/2022 22:49

is he definitely single? Could a wife/partner have found the messages? Or maybe he’s full of anxiety and has chickened out. Could be many reasons but don’t take it personally as more often than not it’ll be an issue with the man himself, unless it’s straight after a first date 😬