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Original poster

Family fall out - dangerous dog

54 replies

Breezymama · 07/10/2022 21:03

Hi long one but need advice - my parents got a chihuahua puppy long hair , hair falls out , a few years ago he has always been snappy my mum said would get some training etc lockdown happened etc - now the dog is 3 and still she not got any help or training. The dog is unpredictable sometimes let stroke sometimes go for your hand, when he was 2 he bit a stranger ‘ for walking past my mum too closely’ myself and my partner had enough and he couldn’t be around our children anymore without a muzzle . So we got my parents round to discuss and she said I’ll try and get some training etc anyway he’s now 3 and still the same she treats him like a baby and it’s clear he is above me or her grandchildren, she refuses to muzzle him so visits have stopped and when they did visit one parent have the dog outside. Anyway we’ve since moved so have new carpets etc and when I put the rules down about he can’t be around the kids I also said he is not coming into our new house at all. Anyway my dad was meant to visit alone and she turned up with the dog too . Myself and my partner refused to let them in ( kids were at school ) and my partner told her the dog could stay in the garden that’s the only option and she said ‘ forget it then ‘ and they left. No contact since - just to add we live quite away from them so leaving the dog at there house is not a option. I guess I’m asking if I’m doing the right thing but considering cutting them off as it’s clear the dog comes before my children and it’s ridiculous, the dog has went for several strangers who want to stroke him he looks cute but a real nasty streak, and bit one stranger but they didn’t report it to the police only to the holiday park they were staying on and the holiday park have banned the dog from the amusement arcade .

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 07/10/2022 21:46

It’s a shame that they’re missing out on your family, but it’s their choice. I’m a dog lover but I wouldn’t have that dog near my kids either.

ordinarilyordinary · 07/10/2022 21:49

Can you buy a cage and keep the dog locked up in that when they visit?

BMW6 · 07/10/2022 21:49

YANBU. Dogs that have a history of biting have no place around children.

Besides which you get to say what comes into your home. Let them stew.

Haffiana · 07/10/2022 21:51

Dangerous dog threatened your carpets? Your children were at school, yes? So going no contact because of the carpets.

You can cut them off for any reason you like, OP. Any reason at all.

Dacadactyl · 07/10/2022 21:53

ordinarilyordinary · 07/10/2022 21:49

Can you buy a cage and keep the dog locked up in that when they visit?

Lol...you must be a dog person. The OPs mum should be paying for the dog cage, not OP.

OP, YANBU.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 07/10/2022 22:03

Chihuahuas are famous for this - a lot of people are afraid of bigger dogs but you are much more likely to be bitten by a small dog. My step dad has a chihuahua and he is about the only dog I have not taken to. And we have all had many dogs over the years.

SignOnTheWindow · 07/10/2022 22:12

Haffiana · 07/10/2022 21:51

Dangerous dog threatened your carpets? Your children were at school, yes? So going no contact because of the carpets.

You can cut them off for any reason you like, OP. Any reason at all.

No, I think OP is going non contact because her mother refuses to recognise and respect OP's perfectly reasonable boundaries.

Toseland · 07/10/2022 22:19

Stand firm. My son was bitten in a situation like that, the (small) dog was really sneaky too and waited till the adults had stepped away.

WisherWood · 07/10/2022 22:31

the dog has went for several strangers who want to stroke him he looks cute but a real nasty streak

Thing is, strangers shouldn't be trying to stroke a dog they don't know and without the owner's permission. I doubt he has a nasty streak. It's more likely he's poorly trained but also, as a very small dog, he's likely biting out of fear and anxiety. I mean I've met cats that are significantly bigger and stronger than the average Chihuahua.

None of which you can really do anything about. So just keep repeating, it's not them, it's their handling of the dog. Unless they get help with the dog and take protective and preventative measures for the safety of your children, they can't come around with the dog.

Addicted2LoveIsland · 07/10/2022 22:34

Sorry OP when you say hair galls out what do you mean? Do you mean normal shedding or the dog has blad patches ?

Addicted2LoveIsland · 07/10/2022 22:37

Addicted2LoveIsland · 07/10/2022 22:34

Sorry OP when you say hair galls out what do you mean? Do you mean normal shedding or the dog has blad patches ?

That should say "hair falls out"

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/10/2022 22:42

You’ve done the right thing. They’ve made their choice. Horrible.

Marineboy67 · 07/10/2022 22:52

I love all dogs but there's never a case for putting a dog before your grandchildren. They are being completely unreasonable, stick to your guns I would!

XelaM · 07/10/2022 22:54

It's a Chi. Hardly a Rottweiler. Chis are so fragile that anyone can overpower/hurt them. I think it's a crazy reason to cut contact with your parents 🤷‍♀️

ordinarilyordinary · 07/10/2022 23:14

Lol...you must be a dog person. The OPs mum should be paying for the dog cage, not OP.

I'm actually not a dog person at all. My brother got bitten in the face by a boxer many years ago.
You buy the cage, they buy the cafe. Who cares. It keeps the children safe and they can bring their precious dog into the house, snd you keep a relationship with them

Puppers · 07/10/2022 23:18

XelaM · 07/10/2022 22:54

It's a Chi. Hardly a Rottweiler. Chis are so fragile that anyone can overpower/hurt them. I think it's a crazy reason to cut contact with your parents 🤷‍♀️

Even a bite from a hamster can go septic and cause very serious problems. Of course an animal that bites should not be around children. Besides the point anyway because it's OP's house and she isn't obliged to accept anyone's pets if she doesn't want to. OP is putting very simple boundaries in place. The NC would really be her mother's decision as it's the result of her mum failing to respect these boundaries.

DogGoneCrazyNow · 08/10/2022 01:08

I hate people who do this. We have a rescue chihuahua who was massively traumatised, demonstrated guarding behaviour, some growling from anxiety etc. I've worked hard to get her over this. She's never snapped but people who treat small dogs like babies are asking for trouble. Mine is an absolute angel with kids but can be guarded with adult strangers and we manage that. I'd be pissed at your mum. She's endangering the children, and the dog. If the dog bites and gets reported the dog will be executed even though its not her fault its your mums. Ugh. YANBU.

HighlandPony · 08/10/2022 01:54

Dacadactyl · 07/10/2022 21:53

Lol...you must be a dog person. The OPs mum should be paying for the dog cage, not OP.

OP, YANBU.

Show quote history

Nobody should be paying for a dog cage. There loads of them for free on gumtree and Facebook etc. keep more shut out of landfill

Coyoacan · 08/10/2022 02:29

Chihuahuas are famous for this-

How peculiar. I live in Mexico City where chihuahuas abound and I've never had or witnessed any problem with them.

Original poster
Breezymama · 08/10/2022 05:51

Haffiana · 07/10/2022 21:51

Dangerous dog threatened your carpets? Your children were at school, yes? So going no contact because of the carpets.

You can cut them off for any reason you like, OP. Any reason at all.

It wasn’t just the carpet I offered the dog could be in garden she said forget it then, also if the dog came in my elderly dog would need to be put in the garden which isn’t fair on him. I have also said about bringing the cage they have for him but she refuses saying no and she won’t muzzle him either

OP posts:
rwalker · 08/10/2022 05:55

XelaM · 07/10/2022 22:54

It's a Chi. Hardly a Rottweiler. Chis are so fragile that anyone can overpower/hurt them. I think it's a crazy reason to cut contact with your parents 🤷‍♀️

They can be nasty little fuckers and any bite can become infected

Sestriere · 08/10/2022 05:59

I get the dog is a nasty little thing but new carpets? It’s probably carried everywhere and you have a dog anyway, please explain the relevance of the carpets.

you do however have my sympathy over her taking it everywhere, my MIL is the same, she doesn’t come to see us as we told her repeatedly not to bring her sniffy, fussy dog to our house as it chases the cats. She chose to not bother.

Original poster
Breezymama · 08/10/2022 06:07

Thanks all for your replies, They have a cage at there home for the dog but my mum refuses to bring she also refuses to muzzle the dog, yes it’s a little chihuahua but it’s bit my dad a couple of times and broke skin. We have a elderly dog who is very friendly so in our old house he used to shut in the kitchen when they visit which wasn’t fair so that’s also a reason we put the rule down that the chihuahua was not welcome in our new home, however I did suggest the chihuahua could go in the secure garden whilst they came in when she turned up unplanned with my dad but she refuses saying forget it then and walked off.
she has a history of not doing anything about dogs that are dangerous she had a jack Russell who actually hit my dc when she was around 3 , my dad wanted to have the dog put down but she refused saying he’s gone weird in the head due to old old and she wasn’t get rid . I actually moved out not long after this incident because of it, I realise now I should of reported to the police at the time, that dog died about a year after thank god and she said I was cruel for being happy it died. That was ten years ago the relationship has never been the same and this new dog they got around 3 years ago.
I probably will stick to the no contact as she didn’t respect my rules by coming unannounced along with my dad and she’s gone all funny now with no contact so I’ll just let it be. It is a shame for my children as once were close but my kids are very vary of the dog they loved it as a puppy as all kids do but he’s growled at my daughter now 13 and went for her as she’s walked past ( mum had hold of the dog) but because of this and he then bit a stranger I put the rules down . My dad said he’s stuck in the middle .

OP posts:
Original poster
Breezymama · 08/10/2022 06:09

The carpets are brand new the dog malts hair and is known to wee sometimes in the house so that’s why. She couldn’t of sat in the kitchen due to one by dog having to then be shut out and two atm the kitchen door is off due to the carpets being so new not had time to get the doors sanded down yet . This they all knew btw

OP posts:
Original poster
Breezymama · 08/10/2022 06:10

I’ve replied above sorry forgot to quote , my dogs hairs don’t malt either and explained the rest above

OP posts: